What if you can't remember all your sins?

[Saoirse]

I was baptised in the United Church, but I was not really raised in the Christian faith. I had a little exposure from my grandparents, but my father having been atheist and my mother having changed her religion to match whichever guy she was dating at the time, I didn’t really learn as much as I wish I could’ve.

So now I’m in RCIA, and I know one can’t be baptised twice, but really… how am I supposed to remember everything I’ve done wrong since I was a baby until now? it’s not possible… and therefore I can’t even “show the begginings of the stirrings of repentance” or anything like that… can I?

so how could I hope to achieve the state of grace required for Confirmation (which I just finished reading in the Catechism about)?

There must be some practicle, simple answer… but what is it?

 

[LilyM]

I was baptised in the United Church, but I was not really raised in the Christian faith. I had a little exposure from my grandparents, but my father having been atheist and my mother having changed her religion to match whichever guy she was dating at the time, I didn’t really learn as much as I wish I could’ve.

So now I’m in RCIA, and I know one can’t be baptised twice, but really… how am I supposed to remember everything I’ve done wrong since I was a baby until now? it’s not possible… and therefore I can’t even “show the begginings of the stirrings of repentance” or anything like that… can I?

so how could I hope to achieve the state of grace required for Confirmation (which I just finished reading in the Catechism about)?

There must be some practicle, simple answer… but what is it?

Very practically and simply - God doesn’t expect miracles of memory of us

As long as you make an honest effort to examine your past life, and genuinely repent of and confess what sins you can remember, and believe to have been mortal (usually there aren’t all THAT many!) you’ll be forgiven all your sins. Even those sins you have honestly forgotten about. Although you should mention any that do come to mind later at your next confession.

 

[rciadan]

Congratulations on your journey into the One True Church!
I too was the son of an atheist. While my mother was only married once (to my father) she still never spoke of God: I think because that’s the way my father wanted it. Ergo, I grew up as an atheist as well.

I went through the RCIA as you are now and later became the RCIA director at my parish. A position I held for five years.

I would encourage you to find various good examples of what is known as “Examination of Conciences”. There are many great ones available. Your RCIA instructor or your Sponsor can help you in this endeavor I am sure. You may also use the Ten Commandments as your guide. This will help you to discover what needs to be confessed.

No-one is expected to remember every one of their sins at thier first confession. The way it has worked for me, and I have been a Catholic for ten years now come this Easter Vigil, is as such: At my first confession I spent about 1/2 to 3/4 hour (or so it seemed) listing everything I could think of that I had ever done. At the end of this list I told father that I knew there was more, lots more, but I could not think of it at that time. He gave me absolution and said that as I remembered things to bring them to confession so that they could be forgiven individually.

I have now been doing this for ten years and I will continue to remember sins that I committed long ago, I’m sure. That is the beauty of it! God is much more concerned with the "quality of you confession at any given time than he is with the “quantity” of it. Give him quality, even if it is small amounts. Give him a “quality” confession often and soon you will realise that you have confessed much more (and recieved even more abundant Grace) than you could have ever imagined!

It is much like an exercise like a push-up or sit-up. When you first begin you are lucky if you can do one or two correctly; but, as you persist you find eventually that you are almost effortlessly doiing more that you ever thought possible! At first you’re not even sure if some things are sins and your not sure about how to do this confession thing; but, the more you do it the better you get at it and the easier it becomes to know what needs to be confessed and the more strength you will have to bring it to God.

Praise be to God and my prayers go with you on your juorney home!

 

[thistle]

I was baptised in the United Church, but I was not really raised in the Christian faith. I had a little exposure from my grandparents, but my father having been atheist and my mother having changed her religion to match whichever guy she was dating at the time, I didn’t really learn as much as I wish I could’ve.

So now I’m in RCIA, and I know one can’t be baptised twice, but really… how am I supposed to remember everything I’ve done wrong since I was a baby until now? it’s not possible… and therefore I can’t even “show the begginings of the stirrings of repentance” or anything like that… can I?

so how could I hope to achieve the state of grace required for Confirmation (which I just finished reading in the Catechism about)?

There must be some practicle, simple answer… but what is it?

I was born and brought up a Methodist. When I became a Catholic I was 44 which meant many many years of sin to cover.
Don’t worry. Just confess what you can remember. At the end of telling the priest my sins I said (and also still say every confession) I am truly sorry for all these sins and any I have forgotten.
Assuming you do not deliberately withold sins you know about then all forgotten sins are also forgiven in that Confession. After that if you later remember some sins from your past that you had forgotten about simply tell the priest next Confession but remember they were already forgiven.