What if your Penance is too Light?

[Appleby]

My confessor gives out what I consider (personal only to myself) to be penances that are too light. Saying three “Hail Marys” doesn’t solve anything, really, and I can do that in five minutes and be off home. I am wondering if there is anything wrong with privately adding more penance aimed directly at curing the sin, especially if it is a venial sin that keeps showing up week after week? I don’t suppose one ought to query Father directly as he is the one in charge, but sometimes I don’t feel as if I am getting to the root of the problem with such light penances.

 

[bilop]

My confessor gives out what I consider (personal only to myself) to be penances that are too light. Saying three “Hail Marys” doesn’t solve anything, really, and I can do that in five minutes and be off home. I am wondering if there is anything wrong with privately adding more penance aimed directly at curing the sin, especially if it is a venial sin that keeps showing up week after week? I don’t suppose one ought to query Father directly as he is the one in charge, but sometimes I don’t feel as if I am getting to the root of the problem with such light penances.

One can always do additional penance voluntarily. After all, the Church always reccomends prayer and fasting to deal with our sins.

The only danger is if you start thinking that somehow you “earn” your forgiveness through penance, and extra penance “earns” it more. Absolution is a free gift from Christ acting through the priest. Our penance adds nothing to the absolution.

The priest is free to assign light or even no penance. Penance only affects our temporal debt for our sins (which otherwise needs to be worked out in purgatory). As long as you keep that distinction firm, extra penance is a great thing.

God Bless

 

[Appleby]

Thank you – I am a newish Catholic (about 2 1/2 years) and don’t want to get tangled up between psychoanalysis and absolution … he gives very good counsel and I am grateful for him; I just think I need to be reminded a little more firmly not to go back again with the same sin next time.

 

[bilop]

Thank you – I am a newish Catholic (about 2 1/2 years) and don’t want to get tangled up between psychoanalysis and absolution … he gives very good counsel and I am grateful for him; I just think I need to be reminded a little more firmly not to go back again with the same sin next time.

You are very welcome!

If you commit the same sins, you go back. That’s what the priest is there for. Try your hardest not to sin, of course, but NEVER let embarassment keep you away from the confessional.

Also, confession is not meant as therapy. It is more “transactional”. If you need serious in depth advice on how to stop sinning, you need spiritual direction. This would be a meeting, outside the normal confession hours, with the same priest on a regular basis for more in depth discussion.

God Bless

 

[lobster]

My confessor gives out what I consider (personal only to myself) to be penances that are too light. Saying three “Hail Marys” doesn’t solve anything, really, and I can do that in five minutes and be off home. I am wondering if there is anything wrong with privately adding more penance aimed directly at curing the sin, especially if it is a venial sin that keeps showing up week after week? I don’t suppose one ought to query Father directly as he is the one in charge, but sometimes I don’t feel as if I am getting to the root of the problem with such light penances.

Penance is not necessary for forgiveness of sins, but it is necessary for expiation of sins. All sins must be paid for, whether in this life or in the next. It is much better to do penance on Earth than wait for purgatory if one is fortunate enough to make it there.

 

[Appleby]

You are very welcome!

If you commit the same sins, you go back. That’s what the priest is there for. Try your hardest not to sin, of course, but NEVER let embarassment keep you away from the confessional.

Also, confession is not meant as therapy. It is more “transactional”. If you need serious in depth advice on how to stop sinning, you need spiritual direction. This would be a meeting, outside the normal confession hours, with the same priest on a regular basis for more in depth discussion.

God Bless

Ah, thank you! That is where the confusion comes in. I will mention that to him tomorrow and see what he thinks.

 

[KCT]

I just think I need to be reminded a little more firmly not to go back again with the same sin next time.

I’m not sure that’s possible. We all have weaknesses. I know lots of folks who claim to go to confession with the same sins time and time again.

One confession is not going to “cure” us.

 

[Appleby]

I’m not sure that’s possible. We all have weaknesses. I know lots of folks who claim to go to confession with the same sins time and time again.

One confession is not going to “cure” us.

That is very true, but isnt it also true that we need to focus on curing our weaknesses?

 

[bilop]

That is very true, but isnt it also true that we need to focus on curing our weaknesses?

Yes, but only secondarily. We are weak by the nature of the fall, so we will sin. The critical thing is to fight against sin, and, when (not if) we fail, to seek absolution as soon as possible.

If you think you can cure your sinfullness quickly, you may too easily become disillusioned. Remember Proverbs, Ch 24 "16 For a just man shall fall seven times and shall rise again: but the wicked shall fall down into evil. "

The war against sin will not be won easily, it is a lifelong battle. That is why the Lord gave us Sacramental confession, so we can get back up each time we fall.

God Bless

 

[Appleby]

Oh, these faults have been like a nail in my shoe since I was a whole lot younger. I have no illusion about a quick cure – but I think now I have a way to work on them perhaps I will get farther forward. The ability to go back and try again is a consolation. One must be determined to go and sin no more even if one is what the Baptists call a Backslider in the end. Perhaps I wont slide quite so far back if I know I have to go and confess that same old fault again. But I do think that an extra effort will help just as much if it is motivated by the thought of confessing it again.

 

[thistle]

My confessor gives out what I consider (personal only to myself) to be penances that are too light. Saying three “Hail Marys” doesn’t solve anything, really, and I can do that in five minutes and be off home. I am wondering if there is anything wrong with privately adding more penance aimed directly at curing the sin, especially if it is a venial sin that keeps showing up week after week? I don’t suppose one ought to query Father directly as he is the one in charge, but sometimes I don’t feel as if I am getting to the root of the problem with such light penances.

It is not up to you to decide if a penance is too light or not. Be humble and obey the priest.

 

[Appleby]

It is not up to you to decide if a penance is too light or not. Be humble and obey the priest.

That is why I only asked about it here, and not in person. Of course I do my penance immediately and stay for Mass afterwards. It is the reason I go.

I just wanted to know, as my Catechism says that priests may give you actual things to do and mine never does, which made me wonder if doing those things in addition might help me.

I am not trying to usurp the authority of the priest, really I am not. Just asking.

 

[Seatuck]

Not all priests will give a lot of advice and counseling during confession. It isn’t wrong to ask him if he has some specific advice for you on how you can address combatting a certain sin. Generally speaking avoiding sin is your job. You probably want more of a spiritual director.

 

[thistle]

That is why I only asked about it here, and not in person. Of course I do my penance immediately and stay for Mass afterwards. It is the reason I go.

I just wanted to know, as my Catechism says that priests may give you actual things to do and mine never does, which made me wonder if doing those things in addition might help me.

I am not trying to usurp the authority of the priest, really I am not. Just asking.

Since I converted in 1992 the only penances I have ever been given are prayers.

 

[RosaryFan]

My confessor gives out what I consider (personal only to myself) to be penances that are too light. Saying three “Hail Marys” doesn’t solve anything, really, and I can do that in five minutes and be off home. I am wondering if there is anything wrong with privately adding more penance aimed directly at curing the sin, especially if it is a venial sin that keeps showing up week after week? I don’t suppose one ought to query Father directly as he is the one in charge, but sometimes I don’t feel as if I am getting to the root of the problem with such light penances.

It is commendable to do penance anytime and for any reason for the intention of making up for personal sins or the sins of humanity. This is what we are called to do as Christians. This is why suffering is a gift from God. We have the opportunity to turn our suffering into redemptive suffering by offering it to Jesus.

Incidentally, the priest giving you 3 Hail Marys for your penance may be because he’s trying to get you and others into the habit of daily prayer or is advocating a devotion fo Our Lady. Your attitude about it being too easy may be what the priest is hoping for. Maybe it it’s that easy for you, you’ll do it more often. And we can’t ignore the fact that if penance is too hard, the meager few who still take advantage of this wonderful sacrament may stop going!

Also, many don’t realize that you can request another penance from the priest if you don’t think the one he gives you is appropriate.

 

[Appleby]

It is commendable to do penance anytime and for any reason for the intention of making up for personal sins or the sins of humanity. This is what we are called to do as Christians. This is why suffering is a gift from God. We have the opportunity to turn our suffering into redemptive suffering by offering it to Jesus.

Incidentally, the priest giving you 3 Hail Marys for your penance may be because he’s trying to get you and others into the habit of daily prayer or is advocating a devotion fo Our Lady. Your attitude about it being too easy may be what the priest is hoping for. Maybe it it’s that easy for you, you’ll do it more often. And we can’t ignore the fact that if penance is too hard, the meager few who still take advantage of this wonderful sacrament may stop going!

Also, many don’t realize that you can request another penance from the priest if you don’t think the one he gives you is appropriate.

I pray the Rosary at least once a day (for specific intentions, such as those the Sisters of Life may ask me for), and 3 times a week extra for the conversion of the President and that he will reject Satan, his pomps and vanities and all his empty promises. I find the Rosary a wonderful resource and it surprises me when the priest says if you find it too hard you can pray only one decade. However, I find it hard to do works of charity, for one example … we have a tsunami of beggars here in town and charity toward my neighbour when he is a beggar asking for change is difficult to nonexistent in my heart. (I generally tell them to call Obama) … and in this kind of sin I think it would be a better penance to ask me to do something concrete, because it would bring me face to face with the problem,as it were. So how would I approach suggesting this? For example, Do you think, Father, it would be helpful if I performed a specific act of charity for someone like this? perhaps?

 

[RosaryFan]

I pray the Rosary at least once a day (for specific intentions, such as those the Sisters of Life may ask me for), and 3 times a week extra for the conversion of the President and that he will reject Satan, his pomps and vanities and all his empty promises. I find the Rosary a wonderful resource and it surprises me when the priest says if you find it too hard you can pray only one decade. However, I find it hard to do works of charity, for one example … we have a tsunami of beggars here in town and charity toward my neighbour when he is a beggar asking for change is difficult to nonexistent in my heart. (I generally tell them to call Obama) … and in this kind of sin I think it would be a better penance to ask me to do something concrete, because it would bring me face to face with the problem,as it were. So how would I approach suggesting this? For example, Do you think, Father, it would be helpful if I performed a specific act of charity for someone like this? perhaps?

Absolutely. I think you could say that to the priest. Talk to him about your issue and he may agree with you. It doesn’t hurt to ask. I think priests avoid giving those types of confessions because when they simply give prayer as a penance, you leave the confessional KNOWING your sins are forgiven. I think most prefer to have the definite and absolute knoweldge that their sins are forgiven when they walk out of the church rather than having to wait until an opportunity to help the poor presents itself.

 

[Appleby]

Thank you – I am always relieved when I have performed my penance … I am a newish Catholic and it amazes me how I respond to some things I don’t even recognize, for example the first time I saw a Monstrance I did not know what it was at all, but the power radiating from it was palpable and gave a whole new meaning to “holy fear of God” Maybe my desire for concrete penances goes back to the way I was brought up … for example, if a child stole from a store, she was marched back to the store and told to hand over the goods and confess “I stole this” and take her medicine. And Sister had no tolerance for those who said or wrote ‘curse words’ – she would make us telephone our mother and tell her exactly what we had written or said, and the necessity of having to pronounce those words in cold blood to our mother stopped some of us from saying those words at least until we graduated. (That also stopped some of the Catholic girls (I was not Catholic at that time) from the more graphic sins, because they could not fathom having to ‘tell Father THAT.’)

Maybe my desire for more concrete penance is only a relic of the way I was brought up.

 

[RosaryFan]

Thank you – I am always relieved when I have performed my penance … I am a newish Catholic and it amazes me how I respond to some things I don’t even recognize, for example the first time I saw a Monstrance I did not know what it was at all, but the power radiating from it was palpable and gave a whole new meaning to “holy fear of God” Maybe my desire for concrete penances goes back to the way I was brought up … for example, if a child stole from a store, she was marched back to the store and told to hand over the goods and confess “I stole this” and take her medicine. And Sister had no tolerance for those who said or wrote ‘curse words’ – she would make us telephone our mother and tell her exactly what we had written or said, and the necessity of having to pronounce those words in cold blood to our mother stopped some of us from saying those words at least until we graduated. (That also stopped some of the Catholic girls (I was not Catholic at that time) from the more graphic sins, because they could not fathom having to ‘tell Father THAT.’)

Maybe my desire for more concrete penance is only a relic of the way I was brought up.

It sounds like you were brought up very nicely. Kudos to your parents!