What is a Catholic Forum?

[BillTheSlink]

I am disabled and recently broke up with a girl who was wealthy and this wasn’t an issue with because of that. We were engaged to get married and she changed her mind. I have since met a nice girl who is also disabled. I can’t say she is “the one” at this point, but it got me thinking. I will be receiving SSI benefits if I win my case and she is also on SSI. This means we each would be getting about $700 a month if we remained single, but if you get married the benefits you get drop significantly over what you get if you’re single.

I heard mentioned once about a woman whose husband died and he had a significant retirement built up that she could draw from if she remained single until retirement age. She took up with a man and they had something called a “Forum,” which in the context it was used I deduced that they were married in the eyes of God and The Church, but not in the eyes of the law. It had to be something like that because she went on to draw the late husband’s retirement and they went to mass every day and received communion from the priest who knew full well they were living together. What exactly is a forum? Does it look like a wedding service where people are invited? Am I right on what it establishes? I had always planned on long-term raising of foster children who were older. Would there be moral ramifications if we had a forum and weren’t married and raised homeless children?

 

[Allegra]

I don’t think there is such a thing as a “forum”, despite what you heard. What you are proposing would actually be deception and I don’t think you would have an easy time finding a priest that would go along with it.

 

[Allegra]

PS- Some private pension plans pay out to the widow even if they remarry. Maybe that’s what you heard about.

 

[Usige]

Canon 1071§1 states that a priest must have permission from their bishop to witness a marriage that cannot be recognized under civil law. Note it says cannot, not will not.

First you would have to show why you could not be married under civil law and then the bishop would have to approve it. Given that it is potential SSI fraud, I think you would have a very hard time convincing a bishop to approve the type of arraignment you mention if you are honest about the reasons.

 

[BillTheSlink]

OK, thank you for that insight. I never thought through the fraud issue–honestly I hadn’t thought the whole thing through very much. I honestly don’t know why that couple was able to have a forum, but I know they did as the woman is a close relative. I didn’t want to ask about it though because they never told me and I didn’t want to be nosy.

 

[As_for_my_House]

I have a family member who is in your situation . If he married the woman that he lives with he and she would lose a percentage of their disability benefits.

In his case they are both mentally disabled. I do not recommend that you choose not to marry. I have witnessed the hardships that choosing a cohabiting state in life has created for this couple. I think they would have been far better off getting married and then working within the system to obtain benefits.

You could find a priest who might direct you to the answer that you seek, a valid sacramental marriage not legally recognized, but unless the hardship caused by the loss of money is severe, I don’t think they would agree to preform the marriage without the legal recognition.

You have my sincere sympathy. I think the system should be changed so the the disabled are not penalized financially for marriage.