John Carberry
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What is a Soulmate? by John Carberry
We were made in the image and likeness of God with a body and a soul. But what is the soul? Some catechists compare the body and soul to a boiling pot of water over a gas flame. The boiling water represents the body, and the flame represents the soul. The water can be touched, seen and divided, but the flame was less substantive, hard to divide and less likely to get a hold of. Let us look at how some have defined the soul and how others have directed us to look to the higher levels of the soul when selecting a mate.
“Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also” (Lk 11:40, Ps 33:15, 139:13-14)? To the ancient Greek sages, every living thing had a soul. For humans, body is the matter and the soul is the form completing human nature.[1] Body and soul act in harmony.[2] Life is a composition or a connection between body and soul.[3] Our care of the body is for the sake of the soul.[4] Death causes a separation of body and soul.[5] In Aristotle’s book on ethics, he looks at three different parts of the soul: 1) passions (emotions), 2) faculties, and 3) states of character, which includes virtue. Passions include appetite, anger, fear, confidence, envy, joy, friendly feeling, hatred, longing, emulation, pity, and feelings that accompany pleasure and pain. Faculties are feelings of anger, pain or pity. States of character are how we act with reference to the passions. For example, does anger invoke a violent response, a weak (meek) response, or something more moderate?[6] Saint Thomas Aquinas called these passions, faculties and states of character, passions, habits, and powers.[7] For Aquinas, in the sense of reception, feeling and understanding were a kind of passion. When the change in feeling was for the worse, the feeling has more of the nature of a passion, such as sorrow was more properly a passion than joy.[8]
Aristotle (384 - 322 B.C.) looks at powers and parts of the soul in his book De Anima (On the Soul) a little differently, and Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225 – 1274) later compares some of these components. The faculties or powers of the soul included discrimination and local movement. Discrimination included thought and sense. Local movement or locomotion allowed the being to move from place to place. The desire for reproduction and nutrition, common to all animals, caused the movement. The soul is the cause or source of the living body, the origin of movement, the end and the essence of the living body.[9] The four species of movement are locomotion, alterations, diminution and growth.[10] The parts of the soul include the 1) nutritive, obtaining nutrition, 2) the sensitive or senses: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling, 3) the imagination, made up of the intellective and deliberative,[11] and 4) the appetitive or appetites, the genus for which desire, passion and wish are the species.[12] Acting properly, the sensitive appetite, or sensuality, obeys reason.[13] Both plants and animals have a nutritive soul, naturally seeking nutrition. The sensitive part included a rational and irrational component for human beings.[14] Reason (greater) and appetite (lesser) were the rational and irrational parts of the soul. Whereas the appetites (the irascible appetite wards off and repels what is hurtful and the concupiscible appetite seeks what is pleasant to the senses)[15] are implanted in children, reason and understanding develop as one grows older.[16] The components of reason, or the rational aspect of the human soul, are the rational principle itself and the ability to obey the rational principle. In the world of both nature and art, the lesser or inferior exists for the sake of the better or the superior, and the better is that which has rational principle.[17]
“For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength” (1 Cor 1:25). We sometimes refer to two of the components of the soul as the intellect, or the rational principle itself, and the will, the rational power,[18] or the ability to obey the rational principle. Both the intellect and the will are imperfect.[19] The intellect is to reason as the will is to free choice.[20] “The mind is chiefly called the intellect.”[21] The intellect is an apprehensive or cogitative power made up of reason, memory and imagination.[22] It draws its perfection in wisdom which draws the mind to look for and love what is true and good.[23] Sometimes called the spirit (Eph 4:23), the intellect is the highest, noblest, and purest part of the soul, and the most like God.[24] The spirit makes us share with the order of angels, since we are composed of both body and spirit.[25] The intellect, whose object is the truth, understands that it understands.[26] Saint Thomas Aquinas divides the intellect into contemplative and active. The end of the contemplative intellect is the knowledge itself of truth, while the end of the practical or active intellect is some external action.[27] What moves to the exercise of that action belongs to the will, which moves all the other powers, even the intellect, to their actions.[28] Good and evil are essential differences of the act of the will just as truth and falsehood pertain to reason.[29] The goodness of the will depends on how it conforms to the Divine will, “…not what I want, but what you want” (Mt 26:39, Ps 40:8-9, Heb 10:7).[30] The will is nothing more than to be inclined to the object of the will, which is universal good.[31] The will cannot act until it is enlightened by the knowledge possessed by the intellect.[32] God alone can change the will (Prv 21:1).[33] The will has the power to follow the passions or to repress them.[34] Choice is the power of the will.
The soul is made in the image and likeness of God (Gn 1:26-27, 5:1, 9:6, 1 Cor 11:7, 2 Cor 3:18, Col 3:10, Jas 3:9), giving the human person a dignity above all other mortal life.[35] The soul is immortal (Wis 2:23, 1 Cor 15:42).[36] Saint Thomas Aquinas says man is in the image of God because of his intellectual nature. “Let the light of your face shine on us, O Lord” (Ps 4:6-7, 31:17, 67:2, 119:135, Nm 6:25). There is a threefold image, of creation (found in all humans), of re-creation (found only in the just), and of likeness (found only in the blessed).[37] By knowledge and love, only human beings are called to share in God’s own life. It was for this end that he was created.[38] The knowledge begotten in the disciple’s mind is likened to the master’s (Mt 10:24-25, Lk 6:40) and the creature is likened to the Eternal Word because of grace and charity.[39] Likeness is preliminary to image and exists in more things. Likeness is more common than image. The mind was made to the image of God,[40] but some believe the inferior powers of the soul to be made in God’s likeness. We find the likeness of God in the soul’s incorruptibility. Whereas image implies an intelligent being, endowed with free choice and self-movement, likeness implies similar powers, such as love of virtue.[41] Even the two sexes form an image of the power and tenderness of God (Is 49:15).[42] Christ, the image of the invisible God (Col 1:15), is the perfect man who restores the divine likeness which was disfigured by sin.[43] God calls us to conform to the image of the Son (Rom 8:29), to be adopted sons who participate in the likeness of natural sonship.[44] We are drawn to love those like us (Sir 13:14-15).[45] In Scripture, soul often refers to human life or the entire human person. But soul can also refer to the innermost aspect of man, what is of greatest value in him, that by which he is in God’s image. Soul signifies the spiritual principle in man (Mt 10:28, 23:25-28, 26:38, 2 Mc 6:30).[46]
A man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two become one flesh (Gn 2:24, Mt 19:5, Mk 10:7, 1 Cor 7:10-11, Eph 5:31, Sir 40:20). The partnership between man and woman was the first form of communion between persons.[47] Loving unity, a mutual molding and perfecting of husband and wife can be a chief reason and purpose of Matrimony.[48] No era can destroy this unity of the human family whose members are all equal in human dignity.[49] Like Confirmation, which shows a maturity of one’s relationship with God, a couple should not marry until they have matured in their relationship with each other. Sigmund Freud divided the human psyche, or the soul, into three parts: the id, the ego and the super-ego. The id is the uncontrolled appetite for sexual desire. The ego is the rational component, which guides the body’s actions. The super-ego is the conscience, or the moral component learned from one’s parents and teachers.[50] One can also divide human love and sexual desire into parts: physical attraction, personalities, and philosophic or moral compatibility. While physical attraction draws couples together in an immature relationship, a long-term relationship requires more (Jer 2:33). One also needs a compatible personality. However, most importantly, unity in spirit or similar faith and moral beliefs lead to a successful, long-term relationship (1 Pt 3:3-7).[51] Otherwise, one will compromise either the relationship or one’s faith and moral judgments. This is why mixed marriages (one believer and one non-believer, or one Catholic and one Protestant) are often difficult. Saint John Chrysostom says that a husband’s prayer regarding his wife should be that “… nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.”[52]
Both parties should progress toward their destiny centered upon God. Aristotle taught that both pleasure and beautiful things must be good things.[53] Saint Thomas Aquinas calls likeness a kind of unity, which causes both pleasure and love.[54] In Daniel’s prophesy of two kingdoms united by intermarriages, they do not stay united, just as iron does not mix well with clay (Dn 2:43, Dt 7:3-4). Christ states that if a blind person leads another blind person, both will fall into the pit (Mt 15:14, Sir 8:15, 25:14-15). One follows either the truth or falsehood. The stronger the relationship, the more likely one is to lead, and the other is to follow. But the evil influences of spouses are seen throughout Scripture (Dt 13:7-12). Eve lured Adam into sin (Gn 3:6, Sir 25:23, 1 Tm 2:14). The women who followed Balaam led the Israelites to be unfaithful at Peor (Nm 31:16, 2 Pt 2:15, Rv 2:14). Samson’s wife disclosed the source of his power to his enemies (Jgs 16:16-21). Solomon’s many wives turned his heart away from God, and this later divided the kingdom (1 Kgs 11:1-13, Ex 34:16). Herod’s wife, Herodias, and her daughter seek the head of John the Baptist (Mk 6:24-28). Spouses who agree with the Catholic Church are more likely to make proper moral choices. Beauty (physical attraction) is fleeting, and charm (personality) is deceptive, but the woman who fears the Lord (philosophy) is to be praised (Prv 31:30, Sir 25:20-21). “For the lips of a loose woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol” (Prv 5:3-5). “A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” (Prv 31:10-11, Sir 26:1-4, 13-18). “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy” (Prv 31:20, Gn 24:14-20). “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Prv 31:26, Sir 40:23). She is her husband’s richest treasure, a helpmate and a steadying column (Sir 36:24). Abraham instructs his servant to select a spouse for Isaac not from the Canaanites, but from his own land (Gn 24:3-4). Similarly, Isaac charged Jacob not to marry a Canaanite woman, but to go to the home of your mother’s father to choose a wife for yourself (Gn 28:1-2). God warned the Israelites not to intermarry with the sons and daughters of nations that they are conquering (Dt 7:3-4, Jos 23:7, 12, Ezr 9:1-2, 12-14, 10:2-14, Neh 10:31, 13:23-27, Tb 4:12-13). Saint Paul teaches us to know how to acquire a wife in holiness and honor rather than in lustful passions (1 Thes 4:3-5). Saint Thomas Aquinas calls conversation the deepest natural instinct (Sir 25:9); the sexual instinct comes second.[55] Pope Leo XIII said that when the minds do not agree as to the observances of religion, it is scarcely possible to hope for agreement on other things. Mixed marriages can endanger the faith of the Catholic partner, hinder the proper education of the children, lead to mixing up of truth and falsehood, and to the belief that all religions are equally good.[56] Pope Pius XI said that marriage joins and knits together the souls of the parties more directly and more intimately than their bodies.[57] Saint John Paul II discusses distorted values when he says that we interpret the quality of life as economic efficiency, inordinate consumerism, physical beauty and pleasure to the neglect of the more profound dimensional goals such as interpersonal, spiritual and religious. We have depersonalized and exploited sexuality from the sign of love and self-gift to self-assertion and selfish satisfaction of personal desires and instincts.[58]
Unity between spouses is like friendship. Aristotle defined friendship with five criteria to strive for: 1) desiring that the friend exist and live, 2) desiring good things for him, 3) doing good things to him, 4) taking pleasure in his company (similar tastes), and 5) having one mind with him (rejoicing and grieving with him).[59] Outside of the physical attraction between spouses, the friendship criteria are very similar.
Chastity is the successful integration of one’s sexuality within the person. Applied to the marital relationship, it means the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.[60] Chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of temperance.[61] Conjugal chastity, or chastity in general, is the capacity to resist the concupiscence of the flesh.[62] Practicing chastity does not mean that we are insensitive to the urge of concupiscence, but that we subordinate it to reason and the law of grace.[63] Chastity means to live in the order of the heart, showing affection in their proper proportion and meaning. Conjugal chastity is confirmed as “life in the Spirit” (Gal 5:25, 1 Tm 2:15). Chastity lies at the center of the spirituality of marriage, as a moral virtue, formed by love, and connected with the gifts of the Holy Spirit, respecting what comes from God.[64] The Sacrament of Marriage ennobles and sanctifies the chaste use of marriage.[65]
“But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5:28, Sir 23:4-6).[66] Christ likened lust to the sin of adultery, calling it adultery of the heart. This compares to the Ninth Commandment, do not covet thy neighbor’s wife, reinforcing the Sixth Commandment, do not commit adultery.[67] The beauty and charm of another’s spouse can often lead to division within a marriage (Prv 6:24-26, Sir 9:8-9) and a fracture in the true, eternal, life-generating relationship. The lures of the flesh, or of the world, overcome the spirit. In that lust, the woman ceases to exist as an object of eternal attraction.[68] Pornography adds to the problem of adultery committed in the heart,[69] which is an impoverishment or a devaluation of an authentic value.[70] Overcoming this lust must be by way of continence and mastery of desires.[71] Saint John Paul II calls marriage the meeting place of eros and ethos,[72] where the sexual drive is properly ordered. Aristotle thought that adultery was disgraceful, and that legislators should drive away indecency in speech and ban indecent pictures or plays.[73]
Separation of the unitive and procreative act is also forbidden by the Church. While the Church promotes the creative actions of the spouses, they should not separate the conjugal act from the procreative act. Intrusion of another person in scientific fertility methods are forbidden such as sperm donations, a surrogate uterus, and test tube babies. These actions separate the exclusive, unitive aspect of marriage between the spouses.[74] It can be compared in Scripture to the birth of Ishmael (Gn 16:4), where Sarai gave her slave-girl to Abram to bear a child. This only caused contempt and division in the relationship (Gn 16:4-6), and eventually dismissal of the child from the family (Gn 21:10-14).
Pope Benedict XVI finds no conflict between erotic love (sexual) and agape love (seeking goodness for the other); rather he believes the Christian faith finds these two forms of love complimentary. Purification and maturity of the eros restores it to its true grandeur. Man is truly himself when the body and soul are intimately united. This occurs when the life-giving body unites with the goodness for the other seeking soul. This unified person loves when he follows God’s natural design. An inward seeking love moves toward or matures into a self-giving love. Anyone willing to give love must also receive love as a gift.[75] Sin destroys unity; it fragments and divides.[76]
John Carberry is the author of Parables: Catholic Apologetics Through Sacred Scripture (2003) and Sacraments: Signs, Symbols and Significance (2023).
[1] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q50, A2 & Q55, A2.
[2] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), I, 4, translated by J.A. Smith, The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp. 546-7.
[3] Aristotle, Metaphysica (Metaphysics), VI, 6, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 819.
[4] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 15, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1301. Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q91, A3.
[5] CCC, 624-626 & 1005.
[6] Aristotle, Ethica Nicomachea (Nicomachean Ethics), translated by W. D. Ross, II, 5. The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp. 956-957. CCC, 1763-1774.
[7] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q63, A2C.
[8] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q22, A1.
[9] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), II, 4. The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 561.
[10] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), I, 3, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 543.
[11] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), III, 10, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 598.
[12] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), II, 3, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 559.
[13] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q18, A2.
[14] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), III, 9, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 596.
[15] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q52, A5.
[16] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 15, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1300.
[17] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 14, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1297. Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q95, A1.
[18] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q50, A5.
[19] Leo XIII, Libertas (Liberty), 6.
[20] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q83, A4.
[21] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q56, A3.
[22] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q51, A3, compare III, Q19, A2 where imagination and memory are sensory.
[23] Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 15.
[24] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q6, A2.
[25] CCC, 327 & 382. Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 14.
[26] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, II, Q25, A2.
[27] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, II, Q179, A2.
[28] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q9, A1 & II, II, Q180, A1.
[29] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q19, A1.
[30] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q19, A9C.
[31] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q105, A4 & II, II, Q25, A2.
[32] Leo XIII, Libertas (Liberty), 5.
[33] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q111, A2.
[34] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q115, A4. CCC, 1767.
[35] Leo XIII, Rerum Novarum (Of the New Things), 40. CCC, 41, 225, 362, 380, 381, 704, 1700-1702, 1711 & 2566.
[36] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), I, 2, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 541. CCC, 366, 1017 & 1703.
[37] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q93, A4.
[38] CCC, 356 & 1703.
[39] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q23, A2.
[40] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q100, A2. CCC, 1706.
[41] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q94, A9. CCC, 1704-1705, 1708 & 1712.
[42] CCC, 2335.
[43] Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 22. CCC, 359, 518, 705 & 734.
[44] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q24, A3. CCC, 562. Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth, From the Baptism in the Jordan to the Transfiguration, p. 138. CCC, 1709.
[45] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q27, A3 & Q99, A2.
[46] CCC, 363-365.
[47] CCC, 383. Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 12.
[48] Pius XI, Casti Connubii (Chaste Wedlock), 24.
[49] John XXIII, Pacem In Terris (Peace On Earth), 132. CCC, 369. Francis, Fratelli Tutti (Brothers, All), 23
[50] Freud, Sigmond, The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, translated by James Strachey, Vol. XIX, “The Ego and the Id and Other Works” (London: The Hogarth Press,1981), pp. 15-28.
[51] Pius XI, Casti Connubii (Chaste Wedlock), 84, 91, 115. CCC, 1642-1643.
[52] CCC, 2365 & 1633-1637.
[53] Aristotle, Rhetorica (Rhetoric), I, 6, The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp. 1343-1344.
[54] Aquinas, Thomas, The Summa Theologica, II, I, Q37, A3 & Q32, A7. CCC, 829 & 2362.
[55] Pius XII, Sacra Virginitas (Holy Virginity), 34. [Aquinas, ST I – II, 94 a2]
[56] Leo XIII, Arcanum (The Secret), 43.
[57] Pius XI, Casti Connubii (Chaste Wedlock), 7.
[58] John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae (Gospel of Life), 23.
[59] Aristotle, Ethica Nicomachea (Nicomachean Ethics), IX, 4. The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1081. Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, II, Q25, A7.
[60] CCC, 2337-2359 & 2395.
[61] CCC, 2341.
[62] John Paul II, “Continence Protects the Dignity of the Conjugal Act” (10/24/1984), Theology of the Body, p. 409. CCC, 2515 & 2529.
[63] Pius XII, Sacra Virginitas (Holy Virginity), 35.
[64] John Paul II, “Living according to the Spirit” (11/14/1984), Theology of the Body, p. 415.
[65] Pius XII, Sacra Virginitas (Holy Virginity), 21.
[66] CCC, 2528.
[67] John Paul II, “Establishing the Ethical Sense” (10/1/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 153.
[68] John Paul II, “Mutual Attraction Differs from Lust” (9/17/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 150.
[69] John Paul II, “Art Must Not Violate the Right to Privacy” (4/29/1981), Theology of the Body, p. 225. CCC, 2354 & 2396.
[70] John Paul II, “The Value of the Body according to the Creator’s Plan” (10/22/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 165.
[71] John Paul II, “Christ Calls Us to Rediscover the Living Forms of the New Man” (12/3/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 175.
[72] John Paul II, “The Marriage Sacrament Is an Effective Sign of God’s Saving Power” (12/1/1982), Theology of the Body, p. 348.
[73] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 16, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1303.
[74] CCC, 2373-2379.
[75] Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est (God is Love), 4-7.
[76] Benedict XVI, Spe Salvi (Saved Through Hope), 14.
We were made in the image and likeness of God with a body and a soul. But what is the soul? Some catechists compare the body and soul to a boiling pot of water over a gas flame. The boiling water represents the body, and the flame represents the soul. The water can be touched, seen and divided, but the flame was less substantive, hard to divide and less likely to get a hold of. Let us look at how some have defined the soul and how others have directed us to look to the higher levels of the soul when selecting a mate.
“Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also” (Lk 11:40, Ps 33:15, 139:13-14)? To the ancient Greek sages, every living thing had a soul. For humans, body is the matter and the soul is the form completing human nature.[1] Body and soul act in harmony.[2] Life is a composition or a connection between body and soul.[3] Our care of the body is for the sake of the soul.[4] Death causes a separation of body and soul.[5] In Aristotle’s book on ethics, he looks at three different parts of the soul: 1) passions (emotions), 2) faculties, and 3) states of character, which includes virtue. Passions include appetite, anger, fear, confidence, envy, joy, friendly feeling, hatred, longing, emulation, pity, and feelings that accompany pleasure and pain. Faculties are feelings of anger, pain or pity. States of character are how we act with reference to the passions. For example, does anger invoke a violent response, a weak (meek) response, or something more moderate?[6] Saint Thomas Aquinas called these passions, faculties and states of character, passions, habits, and powers.[7] For Aquinas, in the sense of reception, feeling and understanding were a kind of passion. When the change in feeling was for the worse, the feeling has more of the nature of a passion, such as sorrow was more properly a passion than joy.[8]
Aristotle (384 - 322 B.C.) looks at powers and parts of the soul in his book De Anima (On the Soul) a little differently, and Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225 – 1274) later compares some of these components. The faculties or powers of the soul included discrimination and local movement. Discrimination included thought and sense. Local movement or locomotion allowed the being to move from place to place. The desire for reproduction and nutrition, common to all animals, caused the movement. The soul is the cause or source of the living body, the origin of movement, the end and the essence of the living body.[9] The four species of movement are locomotion, alterations, diminution and growth.[10] The parts of the soul include the 1) nutritive, obtaining nutrition, 2) the sensitive or senses: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling, 3) the imagination, made up of the intellective and deliberative,[11] and 4) the appetitive or appetites, the genus for which desire, passion and wish are the species.[12] Acting properly, the sensitive appetite, or sensuality, obeys reason.[13] Both plants and animals have a nutritive soul, naturally seeking nutrition. The sensitive part included a rational and irrational component for human beings.[14] Reason (greater) and appetite (lesser) were the rational and irrational parts of the soul. Whereas the appetites (the irascible appetite wards off and repels what is hurtful and the concupiscible appetite seeks what is pleasant to the senses)[15] are implanted in children, reason and understanding develop as one grows older.[16] The components of reason, or the rational aspect of the human soul, are the rational principle itself and the ability to obey the rational principle. In the world of both nature and art, the lesser or inferior exists for the sake of the better or the superior, and the better is that which has rational principle.[17]
“For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength” (1 Cor 1:25). We sometimes refer to two of the components of the soul as the intellect, or the rational principle itself, and the will, the rational power,[18] or the ability to obey the rational principle. Both the intellect and the will are imperfect.[19] The intellect is to reason as the will is to free choice.[20] “The mind is chiefly called the intellect.”[21] The intellect is an apprehensive or cogitative power made up of reason, memory and imagination.[22] It draws its perfection in wisdom which draws the mind to look for and love what is true and good.[23] Sometimes called the spirit (Eph 4:23), the intellect is the highest, noblest, and purest part of the soul, and the most like God.[24] The spirit makes us share with the order of angels, since we are composed of both body and spirit.[25] The intellect, whose object is the truth, understands that it understands.[26] Saint Thomas Aquinas divides the intellect into contemplative and active. The end of the contemplative intellect is the knowledge itself of truth, while the end of the practical or active intellect is some external action.[27] What moves to the exercise of that action belongs to the will, which moves all the other powers, even the intellect, to their actions.[28] Good and evil are essential differences of the act of the will just as truth and falsehood pertain to reason.[29] The goodness of the will depends on how it conforms to the Divine will, “…not what I want, but what you want” (Mt 26:39, Ps 40:8-9, Heb 10:7).[30] The will is nothing more than to be inclined to the object of the will, which is universal good.[31] The will cannot act until it is enlightened by the knowledge possessed by the intellect.[32] God alone can change the will (Prv 21:1).[33] The will has the power to follow the passions or to repress them.[34] Choice is the power of the will.
The soul is made in the image and likeness of God (Gn 1:26-27, 5:1, 9:6, 1 Cor 11:7, 2 Cor 3:18, Col 3:10, Jas 3:9), giving the human person a dignity above all other mortal life.[35] The soul is immortal (Wis 2:23, 1 Cor 15:42).[36] Saint Thomas Aquinas says man is in the image of God because of his intellectual nature. “Let the light of your face shine on us, O Lord” (Ps 4:6-7, 31:17, 67:2, 119:135, Nm 6:25). There is a threefold image, of creation (found in all humans), of re-creation (found only in the just), and of likeness (found only in the blessed).[37] By knowledge and love, only human beings are called to share in God’s own life. It was for this end that he was created.[38] The knowledge begotten in the disciple’s mind is likened to the master’s (Mt 10:24-25, Lk 6:40) and the creature is likened to the Eternal Word because of grace and charity.[39] Likeness is preliminary to image and exists in more things. Likeness is more common than image. The mind was made to the image of God,[40] but some believe the inferior powers of the soul to be made in God’s likeness. We find the likeness of God in the soul’s incorruptibility. Whereas image implies an intelligent being, endowed with free choice and self-movement, likeness implies similar powers, such as love of virtue.[41] Even the two sexes form an image of the power and tenderness of God (Is 49:15).[42] Christ, the image of the invisible God (Col 1:15), is the perfect man who restores the divine likeness which was disfigured by sin.[43] God calls us to conform to the image of the Son (Rom 8:29), to be adopted sons who participate in the likeness of natural sonship.[44] We are drawn to love those like us (Sir 13:14-15).[45] In Scripture, soul often refers to human life or the entire human person. But soul can also refer to the innermost aspect of man, what is of greatest value in him, that by which he is in God’s image. Soul signifies the spiritual principle in man (Mt 10:28, 23:25-28, 26:38, 2 Mc 6:30).[46]
A man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two become one flesh (Gn 2:24, Mt 19:5, Mk 10:7, 1 Cor 7:10-11, Eph 5:31, Sir 40:20). The partnership between man and woman was the first form of communion between persons.[47] Loving unity, a mutual molding and perfecting of husband and wife can be a chief reason and purpose of Matrimony.[48] No era can destroy this unity of the human family whose members are all equal in human dignity.[49] Like Confirmation, which shows a maturity of one’s relationship with God, a couple should not marry until they have matured in their relationship with each other. Sigmund Freud divided the human psyche, or the soul, into three parts: the id, the ego and the super-ego. The id is the uncontrolled appetite for sexual desire. The ego is the rational component, which guides the body’s actions. The super-ego is the conscience, or the moral component learned from one’s parents and teachers.[50] One can also divide human love and sexual desire into parts: physical attraction, personalities, and philosophic or moral compatibility. While physical attraction draws couples together in an immature relationship, a long-term relationship requires more (Jer 2:33). One also needs a compatible personality. However, most importantly, unity in spirit or similar faith and moral beliefs lead to a successful, long-term relationship (1 Pt 3:3-7).[51] Otherwise, one will compromise either the relationship or one’s faith and moral judgments. This is why mixed marriages (one believer and one non-believer, or one Catholic and one Protestant) are often difficult. Saint John Chrysostom says that a husband’s prayer regarding his wife should be that “… nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.”[52]
Both parties should progress toward their destiny centered upon God. Aristotle taught that both pleasure and beautiful things must be good things.[53] Saint Thomas Aquinas calls likeness a kind of unity, which causes both pleasure and love.[54] In Daniel’s prophesy of two kingdoms united by intermarriages, they do not stay united, just as iron does not mix well with clay (Dn 2:43, Dt 7:3-4). Christ states that if a blind person leads another blind person, both will fall into the pit (Mt 15:14, Sir 8:15, 25:14-15). One follows either the truth or falsehood. The stronger the relationship, the more likely one is to lead, and the other is to follow. But the evil influences of spouses are seen throughout Scripture (Dt 13:7-12). Eve lured Adam into sin (Gn 3:6, Sir 25:23, 1 Tm 2:14). The women who followed Balaam led the Israelites to be unfaithful at Peor (Nm 31:16, 2 Pt 2:15, Rv 2:14). Samson’s wife disclosed the source of his power to his enemies (Jgs 16:16-21). Solomon’s many wives turned his heart away from God, and this later divided the kingdom (1 Kgs 11:1-13, Ex 34:16). Herod’s wife, Herodias, and her daughter seek the head of John the Baptist (Mk 6:24-28). Spouses who agree with the Catholic Church are more likely to make proper moral choices. Beauty (physical attraction) is fleeting, and charm (personality) is deceptive, but the woman who fears the Lord (philosophy) is to be praised (Prv 31:30, Sir 25:20-21). “For the lips of a loose woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol” (Prv 5:3-5). “A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” (Prv 31:10-11, Sir 26:1-4, 13-18). “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy” (Prv 31:20, Gn 24:14-20). “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Prv 31:26, Sir 40:23). She is her husband’s richest treasure, a helpmate and a steadying column (Sir 36:24). Abraham instructs his servant to select a spouse for Isaac not from the Canaanites, but from his own land (Gn 24:3-4). Similarly, Isaac charged Jacob not to marry a Canaanite woman, but to go to the home of your mother’s father to choose a wife for yourself (Gn 28:1-2). God warned the Israelites not to intermarry with the sons and daughters of nations that they are conquering (Dt 7:3-4, Jos 23:7, 12, Ezr 9:1-2, 12-14, 10:2-14, Neh 10:31, 13:23-27, Tb 4:12-13). Saint Paul teaches us to know how to acquire a wife in holiness and honor rather than in lustful passions (1 Thes 4:3-5). Saint Thomas Aquinas calls conversation the deepest natural instinct (Sir 25:9); the sexual instinct comes second.[55] Pope Leo XIII said that when the minds do not agree as to the observances of religion, it is scarcely possible to hope for agreement on other things. Mixed marriages can endanger the faith of the Catholic partner, hinder the proper education of the children, lead to mixing up of truth and falsehood, and to the belief that all religions are equally good.[56] Pope Pius XI said that marriage joins and knits together the souls of the parties more directly and more intimately than their bodies.[57] Saint John Paul II discusses distorted values when he says that we interpret the quality of life as economic efficiency, inordinate consumerism, physical beauty and pleasure to the neglect of the more profound dimensional goals such as interpersonal, spiritual and religious. We have depersonalized and exploited sexuality from the sign of love and self-gift to self-assertion and selfish satisfaction of personal desires and instincts.[58]
Unity between spouses is like friendship. Aristotle defined friendship with five criteria to strive for: 1) desiring that the friend exist and live, 2) desiring good things for him, 3) doing good things to him, 4) taking pleasure in his company (similar tastes), and 5) having one mind with him (rejoicing and grieving with him).[59] Outside of the physical attraction between spouses, the friendship criteria are very similar.
Chastity is the successful integration of one’s sexuality within the person. Applied to the marital relationship, it means the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.[60] Chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of temperance.[61] Conjugal chastity, or chastity in general, is the capacity to resist the concupiscence of the flesh.[62] Practicing chastity does not mean that we are insensitive to the urge of concupiscence, but that we subordinate it to reason and the law of grace.[63] Chastity means to live in the order of the heart, showing affection in their proper proportion and meaning. Conjugal chastity is confirmed as “life in the Spirit” (Gal 5:25, 1 Tm 2:15). Chastity lies at the center of the spirituality of marriage, as a moral virtue, formed by love, and connected with the gifts of the Holy Spirit, respecting what comes from God.[64] The Sacrament of Marriage ennobles and sanctifies the chaste use of marriage.[65]
“But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5:28, Sir 23:4-6).[66] Christ likened lust to the sin of adultery, calling it adultery of the heart. This compares to the Ninth Commandment, do not covet thy neighbor’s wife, reinforcing the Sixth Commandment, do not commit adultery.[67] The beauty and charm of another’s spouse can often lead to division within a marriage (Prv 6:24-26, Sir 9:8-9) and a fracture in the true, eternal, life-generating relationship. The lures of the flesh, or of the world, overcome the spirit. In that lust, the woman ceases to exist as an object of eternal attraction.[68] Pornography adds to the problem of adultery committed in the heart,[69] which is an impoverishment or a devaluation of an authentic value.[70] Overcoming this lust must be by way of continence and mastery of desires.[71] Saint John Paul II calls marriage the meeting place of eros and ethos,[72] where the sexual drive is properly ordered. Aristotle thought that adultery was disgraceful, and that legislators should drive away indecency in speech and ban indecent pictures or plays.[73]
Separation of the unitive and procreative act is also forbidden by the Church. While the Church promotes the creative actions of the spouses, they should not separate the conjugal act from the procreative act. Intrusion of another person in scientific fertility methods are forbidden such as sperm donations, a surrogate uterus, and test tube babies. These actions separate the exclusive, unitive aspect of marriage between the spouses.[74] It can be compared in Scripture to the birth of Ishmael (Gn 16:4), where Sarai gave her slave-girl to Abram to bear a child. This only caused contempt and division in the relationship (Gn 16:4-6), and eventually dismissal of the child from the family (Gn 21:10-14).
Pope Benedict XVI finds no conflict between erotic love (sexual) and agape love (seeking goodness for the other); rather he believes the Christian faith finds these two forms of love complimentary. Purification and maturity of the eros restores it to its true grandeur. Man is truly himself when the body and soul are intimately united. This occurs when the life-giving body unites with the goodness for the other seeking soul. This unified person loves when he follows God’s natural design. An inward seeking love moves toward or matures into a self-giving love. Anyone willing to give love must also receive love as a gift.[75] Sin destroys unity; it fragments and divides.[76]
John Carberry is the author of Parables: Catholic Apologetics Through Sacred Scripture (2003) and Sacraments: Signs, Symbols and Significance (2023).
[1] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q50, A2 & Q55, A2.
[2] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), I, 4, translated by J.A. Smith, The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp. 546-7.
[3] Aristotle, Metaphysica (Metaphysics), VI, 6, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 819.
[4] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 15, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1301. Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q91, A3.
[5] CCC, 624-626 & 1005.
[6] Aristotle, Ethica Nicomachea (Nicomachean Ethics), translated by W. D. Ross, II, 5. The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp. 956-957. CCC, 1763-1774.
[7] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q63, A2C.
[8] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q22, A1.
[9] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), II, 4. The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 561.
[10] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), I, 3, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 543.
[11] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), III, 10, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 598.
[12] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), II, 3, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 559.
[13] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q18, A2.
[14] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), III, 9, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 596.
[15] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q52, A5.
[16] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 15, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1300.
[17] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 14, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1297. Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q95, A1.
[18] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q50, A5.
[19] Leo XIII, Libertas (Liberty), 6.
[20] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q83, A4.
[21] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q56, A3.
[22] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q51, A3, compare III, Q19, A2 where imagination and memory are sensory.
[23] Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 15.
[24] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q6, A2.
[25] CCC, 327 & 382. Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 14.
[26] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, II, Q25, A2.
[27] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, II, Q179, A2.
[28] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q9, A1 & II, II, Q180, A1.
[29] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q19, A1.
[30] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q19, A9C.
[31] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q105, A4 & II, II, Q25, A2.
[32] Leo XIII, Libertas (Liberty), 5.
[33] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q111, A2.
[34] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q115, A4. CCC, 1767.
[35] Leo XIII, Rerum Novarum (Of the New Things), 40. CCC, 41, 225, 362, 380, 381, 704, 1700-1702, 1711 & 2566.
[36] Aristotle, De Anima (On the Soul), I, 2, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 541. CCC, 366, 1017 & 1703.
[37] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q93, A4.
[38] CCC, 356 & 1703.
[39] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q23, A2.
[40] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q100, A2. CCC, 1706.
[41] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, I, Q94, A9. CCC, 1704-1705, 1708 & 1712.
[42] CCC, 2335.
[43] Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 22. CCC, 359, 518, 705 & 734.
[44] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, III, Q24, A3. CCC, 562. Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth, From the Baptism in the Jordan to the Transfiguration, p. 138. CCC, 1709.
[45] Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, I, Q27, A3 & Q99, A2.
[46] CCC, 363-365.
[47] CCC, 383. Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes (Joy and Hope), 12.
[48] Pius XI, Casti Connubii (Chaste Wedlock), 24.
[49] John XXIII, Pacem In Terris (Peace On Earth), 132. CCC, 369. Francis, Fratelli Tutti (Brothers, All), 23
[50] Freud, Sigmond, The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, translated by James Strachey, Vol. XIX, “The Ego and the Id and Other Works” (London: The Hogarth Press,1981), pp. 15-28.
[51] Pius XI, Casti Connubii (Chaste Wedlock), 84, 91, 115. CCC, 1642-1643.
[52] CCC, 2365 & 1633-1637.
[53] Aristotle, Rhetorica (Rhetoric), I, 6, The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp. 1343-1344.
[54] Aquinas, Thomas, The Summa Theologica, II, I, Q37, A3 & Q32, A7. CCC, 829 & 2362.
[55] Pius XII, Sacra Virginitas (Holy Virginity), 34. [Aquinas, ST I – II, 94 a2]
[56] Leo XIII, Arcanum (The Secret), 43.
[57] Pius XI, Casti Connubii (Chaste Wedlock), 7.
[58] John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae (Gospel of Life), 23.
[59] Aristotle, Ethica Nicomachea (Nicomachean Ethics), IX, 4. The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1081. Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologica, II, II, Q25, A7.
[60] CCC, 2337-2359 & 2395.
[61] CCC, 2341.
[62] John Paul II, “Continence Protects the Dignity of the Conjugal Act” (10/24/1984), Theology of the Body, p. 409. CCC, 2515 & 2529.
[63] Pius XII, Sacra Virginitas (Holy Virginity), 35.
[64] John Paul II, “Living according to the Spirit” (11/14/1984), Theology of the Body, p. 415.
[65] Pius XII, Sacra Virginitas (Holy Virginity), 21.
[66] CCC, 2528.
[67] John Paul II, “Establishing the Ethical Sense” (10/1/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 153.
[68] John Paul II, “Mutual Attraction Differs from Lust” (9/17/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 150.
[69] John Paul II, “Art Must Not Violate the Right to Privacy” (4/29/1981), Theology of the Body, p. 225. CCC, 2354 & 2396.
[70] John Paul II, “The Value of the Body according to the Creator’s Plan” (10/22/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 165.
[71] John Paul II, “Christ Calls Us to Rediscover the Living Forms of the New Man” (12/3/1980), Theology of the Body, p. 175.
[72] John Paul II, “The Marriage Sacrament Is an Effective Sign of God’s Saving Power” (12/1/1982), Theology of the Body, p. 348.
[73] Aristotle, Politica (Politics)¸ VII, 16, The Basic Works of Aristotle, p. 1303.
[74] CCC, 2373-2379.
[75] Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est (God is Love), 4-7.
[76] Benedict XVI, Spe Salvi (Saved Through Hope), 14.