Well, I am discerning a vocation as a Third Order Dominican, and lately I am very distracted in prayer and I am filled with overwhelming thoughts that I am being indulgent by spending time in prayer and study, that I shouldn’t “need” to do these things, and that perhaps people who are too religious are judgmental extremists and it’s better to be more moderate in one’s faith.
I am also filled with doubt- that perhaps I would make a poor Dominican so I should just give up and just go to Mass on Sunday and that’s it.
These thoughts don’t feel “right” to me- they are accompanied by a tremendous sense of unrest.
I do have a very busy schedule and two young children, and part of my worry is that I will take too much time away from my (part-time) job and the care of my children to do things that are indulgent- however, all around me do report that the prayer and study do seem to improve the way I function.
Any thoughts?