What is actually lustful?

[cjcapta]

I’m wondering where people draw the line with what is lustful or not? Is wanting to kiss a person (on the lips) a sin? Or is it a sin if you think that you might be in a specific romantic relationship in the future and you are looking forward to kissing that person on the lips if that happens? Is wanting to hug a person romantically a sin?

The Catholic Encyclopedia on newadvent.org had on its page for lust: The inordinate craving for, or indulgence of, the carnal pleasure which is experienced in the human organs of generation. The wrongfulness of lust is reducible to this: that venereal satisfaction is sought for either outside wedlock or, at any rate, in a manner which is contrary to the laws that govern marital intercourse.

Does that mean that the above isn’t a sin?

 

[bkayw]

Lust is giving way to mental thought that will in turn direct a person toward more sexual action and sexual release.

Would these kisses turn you (or your date) toward more advanced sexual action / s?

Spark, blaze, fire, campfire, forestfire.

Sexual actions completely change friendships and relationships.

 

[Iprobe]

Is wanting to kiss a person (on the lips) a sin?

If that person is married (or of your same sex), yes.

Or is it a sin if you think that you might be in a specific romantic relationship in the future and you are looking forward to kissing that person on the lips if that happens? Is wanting to hug a person romantically a sin?

Those are harmless natural inclinations, but sinful if they consume you (i.e. your “favorite hobby,” something you’re thinking about every moment you’re not forced to think about something else).

The Catholic Encyclopedia on newadvent.org had on its page for lust: The inordinate craving for, or indulgence of, the carnal pleasure which is experienced in the human organs of generation. The wrongfulness of lust is reducible to this: that venereal satisfaction is sought for either outside wedlock or, at any rate, in a manner which is contrary to the laws that govern marital intercourse.

That would seem to be addressing “making movies in your mind” or else “making the movies come true” outside of marriage. Venereal satisfaction is a fancy term for “copulation.” Kissing isn’t copulation. If you search here at CAF, you’ll find there have been other threads on this sort of topic (it’s been months since I last read one, so I can’t refer you, sorry).

 

[Bookcat]

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

 

[Bookcat]

I’m wondering where people draw the line with what is lustful or not? Is wanting to kiss a person (on the lips) a sin? Or is it a sin if you think that you might be in a specific romantic relationship in the future and you are looking forward to kissing that person on the lips if that happens? Is wanting to hug a person romantically a sin?

Kissing can be chaste…(avoid the unchaste…too vehement etc) as can a hug…

and are they are not reserved to the married…

To want to have such a chaste relationship can be without any sin… and hoping to kissing a person chastely can be quite normal and fine.

But take care! Especially women can get carried away on the “romance” train…

Again one needs to know oneself.

I would also avoid fantazing about such…it can lead perhaps into sin…or even disappointment when things do not go as one wished…or put too much emphasis on the “kiss” part etc…instead of on the person etc…it can take you into a “dream world” away from reality too.

But simply having the idea " I would like to kiss him (I assume you are a she and both are unmarried)" is not a sin per se…

 

[cjcapta]

Kissing can be chaste…(avoid the unchaste…too vehement etc) as can a hug…

and are they are not reserved to the married…

To want to have such a chaste relationship can be without any sin… and hoping to kissing a person chastely can be quite normal and fine.

But take care! Especially women can get carried away on the “romance” train…

Again one needs to know oneself.

I would also avoid fantazing about such…it can lead perhaps into sin…or even disappointment when things do not go as one wished…or put too much emphasis on the “kiss” part etc…instead of on the person etc…it can take you into a “dream world” away from reality too.

But simply having the idea " I would like to kiss him (I assume you are a she and both are unmarried)" is not a sin per se…

I’m a he and the person I was thinking about kissing is a she. Does it change anything if she’s not married, but in a relationship?

 

[Bookcat]

I’m a he and the person I was thinking about kissing is a she. Does it change anything if she’s not married, but in a relationship?

Lets see…if I were not married…(putting myself back in time)

and there was a girl whom I would like to get to know and date…(marriage being at least a remote possibility)…and she was “seeing someone else”…would it be wrong for me to think “I would like to date her…during which it would be nice to give her a (chaste) kiss”…(so long as it is not a near occasion to sin or something…and I would not engage really engage the imagination or think too much about it)

No I do not think such would be a sin (certainly not lust)…but I would do well not to dwell on it…and get my hopes up too …when she is still in the relationship…(one can just make ones heart sick…as they say)…

For she is not married (nor are you)…and relationships…come and go…

Nor would I really think much about wanting to kiss her etc…just hope that perhaps things will work out for you …an you will date her in the future…

and of course…realize the world is full of other persons…whom you can meet etc…

(sorry for the wrong guess about being a girl…others have made this wrong guess about me too…twice!)

 

[cjcapta]

Lets see…if I were not married…(putting myself back in time)

and there was a girl whom I would like to get to know and date…(marriage being at least a remote possibility)…and she was “seeing someone else”…would it be wrong for me to think “I would like to date her…during which it would be nice to give her a (chaste) kiss”…(so long as it is not a near occasion to sin or something…and I would not engage really engage the imagination or think too much about it)

No I do not think such would be a sin (certainly not lust)…but I would do well not to dwell on it…and get my hopes up too …when she is still in the relationship…(one can just make ones heart sick…as they say)…

For she is not married (nor are you)…and relationships…come and go…

Nor would I really think much about wanting to kiss her etc…just hope that perhaps things will work out for you …an you will date her in the future…

and of course…realize the world is full of other persons…whom you can meet etc…

(sorry for the wrong guess about being a girl…others have made this wrong guess about me too…twice!)

That’s okay. Oh, and let me clarify this: the commandment that says we shouldn’t covet another person’s wife only applies to married people? And not on people who are just in a relationship, right?

 

[Bookcat]

That’s okay. Oh, and let me clarify this: the commandment that says we shouldn’t covet another person’s wife only applies to married people? And not on people who are just in a relationship, right?

Yes…in a sense …but one should not “covet” anything in the sinful sense…(see CCC)

But if say Sally and Alex are dating…can you desire to date Sally (chastely etc) …

Yes of course. One cannot wish ill to them or to him…but one can hope that she will later date you if things do not work out with him…etc

Dating is not marriage.

Many have dated one person (I dated a good number…and was even engaged…) and end up marrying someone else.

But again do not drive yourself crazy about this.

 

[Big_Dummy]

lust is simply desiring to own a person as if they were an object. Love is a two way street where both people seek out the best for each other, rather than desire what feels good for oneself.