What is allowed during fertile days?

[Tonci3D]

Hi,

I tried to find the complete answer to this question on this forum, but without success. I understand that outside ejaculation is not allowed during the fertile days (not allowed at all),but I would like to know is it allowed for a wife only to have an orgasm during fertile days? Is ti allowed to make out during the fertile days and not to have orgasm (nether man or wife)?

Thanks!

 

[1ke]

is it allowed for a wife only to have an orgasm during fertile days?

No, that is masterbation.

Is ti allowed to make out during the fertile days and not to have orgasm (nether man or wife)?

That depends on what you mean by “make out.”

It is disordered to stimulate the genitals without intending to have intercourse. Kissing, snuggling, etc, is not disordered and not intended to stimulate the genitals. However, each couple will have to determine where they cross the line to arousal.

 

[kristleful]

Will you explain why you are focusing on “during fertile days” for these questions? I’m confused… Aren’t the moral guidelines the same regardless of whether or not you are in your fertile time of month?

 

[Em_in_FL]

Will you explain why you are focusing on “during fertile days” for these questions? I’m confused… Aren’t the moral guidelines the same regardless of whether or not you are in your fertile time of month?

I would assume this is someone trying to avoid pregnancy by abstaining during the fertile time - aka Natural Family Planning.

And yes, 1ke answered the questions correctly.

 

[Col40]

Ah Toni…as an NFP couple hitting perimenopausal (hence more erratic signs), and satisfied with the size of our family, I feel for you. I wish I can answer your question, but I struggle with the “what to do” myself. My husband even more so…because, yes. . the previous responders are correct in the church’s teachings on the subject.

I just keep hoping that I’ll have cycles with more dry days…and try to stay awake and outlast the kids on green days…

No one ever said it’s easy being faithful to church teachings…but I really wish in this case it was…

 

[littlepreo]

It is disordered to stimulate the genitals without intending to have intercourse.

I agree that this is what the Church teaches on this subject, however, I lack a firm understanding of why. All to often, people say, “its wrong” but don’t explain why. Please give it your best shot…

-mike

 

[kage_ar]

I agree that this is what the Church teaches on this subject, however, I lack a firm understanding of why. All to often, people say, “its wrong” but don’t explain why. Please give it your best shot…

-mike

You can read the appropriate section of the Catechism here, the footnotes will refer to other Church documents:

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2352.htm

**2352 **By *masturbation *is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.” To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

 

[1ke]

I agree that this is what the Church teaches on this subject, however, I lack a firm understanding of why. All to often, people say, “its wrong” but don’t explain why. Please give it your best shot…

-mike

Because the purpose of the sexual genetalia is the generation of new life. The pleasureable sensations we experience are a side effect, a by-product, not the purpose. And the pleasure is only to be experienced within the larger purpose of the act, which is procreation.

To stimulate the genitals purposely for the pleasure alone is to use our sexual faculties in opposition to the purpose God designed into our bodies and the sacramental nature of the marriage covenant as expressed through our bodies.

 

[Tonci3D]

Hi,

thank you for the answers. We get it now, and we feel much easier to handle it when we have proper knowledge.

 

[Col40]

Because the purpose of the sexual genetalia is the generation of new life. The pleasureable sensations we experience are a side effect, a by-product, not the purpose. And the pleasure is only to be experienced within the larger purpose of the act, which is procreation.

:nope:

I disagree with this statement—it’s like saying the NFP couples who use days of infertility are “sinning”. NFP is completely sanctioned by the church, and it’s a dual purpose solution to family PLANNING–for achieving and avoiding pregnancy.

In fact, the church’s teaching on human sexuality is that it be a) fun, b) an expression of love, and c) open to life…open to life meaning acceptance that pregnancy can occur, and that no artificial means be used to avoid pregnancy—contraception. But it does not indicate that the only reason practicing Catholics should have sex is for procreation—human sexuality as designed by God is for both unitive as well as procreative purposes. If it were for procreation only–we’d be like animals.

ToniC–I’m going to recommend a GREAT book for you: “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Chris West. This book takes Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body and presents it in a Q&A format that addresses the Catholic Church’s teachings on sexuality in a very wonderful, non-judgemental way. The Pope himself approved of this book.