What is God doing to me?/What am doing wrong?

[ineedofmercy]

I’ve been praying for courage and to help my situation to help ask to go confession. maybe I haven’t waited long enough of didn’t trust I would be helped enough. Today I came across the thought that maybe since I’m not in a state of grace I don’t deserve help but this shouldn’t be true.

Sometimes I think I’m not helped because the suffering is supposed to some how help me
Like the I need to be broken to be fixed
Ideas like that are depressing but probably correct

Sometimes I think I’m praying wrong for countless reasons

I’m depressed and angry at myself and the world

I know not be angry at God since he said I’m not your enemy and I will never hurt you

But I’ve been in this situation for a long time and its not changing or maybe I don’t see it

I’m very confused and I feel trapped
I’m trying to have trust and hope
But I always feel I’m just going to do something wrong
I fear embarrassment and awkward situations
I feel like my social life(especially with my family) is going fall apart of I say something

I could just be confused and overreacted but I just want my life to be ok again
I know being attacked by others and the devil for His sake is a blessing but it doesn’t feel like one
I know this much trouble means I meant for something but I have so many doubts about myself

I know I bother this forum alot with what sounds like nonsense and whining but I have no one else to talk to and I just feel the need to speak

I really appreciate any response thank you

 

[Hatikvah]

I will pray for you. Pray for yourself, as well. There are many saints who would understand this personally, and Saint George is the saint for courage, patron of England (his battle with a dragon may be a myth, but he is a very real person).

Also, please don’t think that you bother us! Everyone to come to this thread wouldn’t be “annoyed.” It’s the least we can do to pray for you.

God bless.

 

[RPRPsych]

Praying for you.

 

[tawny]

Praying for your intentions.

 

[zamyrabyrd]

I’ve been praying for courage and to help my situation to help ask to go confession. maybe I haven’t waited long enough of didn’t trust I would be helped enough. Today I came across the thought that maybe since I’m not in a state of grace I don’t deserve help but this shouldn’t be true.
Sometimes I think I’m not helped because the suffering is supposed to some how help me, Like the I need to be broken to be fixed
Ideas like that are depressing but probably correct
Sometimes I think I’m praying wrong for countless reasons
I’m depressed and angry at myself and the world
I know not be angry at God since he said I’m not your enemy and I will never hurt you
But I’ve been in this situation for a long time and its not changing or maybe I don’t see it
I’m very confused and I feel trapped
I’m trying to have trust and hope
But I always feel I’m just going to do something wrong
I fear embarrassment and awkward situations
I feel like my social life(especially with my family) is going fall apart of I say something
I could just be confused and overreacted but I just want my life to be ok again
I know being attacked by others and the devil for His sake is a blessing but it doesn’t feel like one
I know this much trouble means I meant for something but I have so many doubts about myself
I know I bother this forum alot with what sounds like nonsense and whining but I have no one else to talk to and I just feel the need to speak
I really appreciate any response thank you

I think I know where you’re coming from since I have been in repeating loops myself. I happen to be in one now but have faith that I am following the right way out of it.
I was in a real snit two years ago but realized that I would be no good to myself or others if I gave in. I take the saying “Peace be with you” literally, that is constantly repeated in the Bible as a greeting. It means that peace and grace are supposed to be our natural state. You deserve it, I deserve it.
Peace is necessary to our spiritual health as food and air are to our physical selves.
Anxiety can have a rational cause. Fear is supposed to warn us of danger. But was are not supposed to get stuck there. Defense mechanisms have a habit of becoming default if they are repeated often enough.
It’s good to be able to talk to someone about this - a priest, therapist, friend - someone with life experience who can understand. Barring that, you can continue to express your feelings here.

 

[Confiteor_Deo]

Don’t think that you are not going to be helped by God because you are not in the state of grace. That is simply not true. He is willing to help you and is helping you now, especially considering how much it seems that you are praying and trying to obey Him. Never be afraid to go to Confession. Have recourse to the Blessed Virgin Mary, the refuge of sinners. She never fails to come to the aid of those who turn to her and she will ensure that you are able to have recourse to the Sacrament of Penance and be absolved.

 

[egretps]

Confession, or better the Sacrament of Reconciliation, is one of the greatest gifts God gave us, and one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is showing up. Getting yourself there.

80 percent of success is just showing up.

Before you go pray for the priest you will meet, whether you know who that will be or not, for their vocation and their special intentions. I have prayed days in advance or as I found myself last minute waiting in the confessional line. I found that it’s all good, but when I started praying days in advance I was more prepared.

Ask your guardian angel to pray for you. They will stand beside you. And ask that ‘he’ go before you to help the priest’s guardian angel with you.

Your heart is burdened. I remember M. Angelica from EWTN gave out the encouragement I needed to go back to confession after a time away. She said go to confession and afterwards go eat a pizza. Made the idea a little festive.

 

[Greenfields]

Confession, or better the Sacrament of Reconciliation, is one of the greatest gifts God gave us, and one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is showing up. Getting yourself there.

80 percent of success is just showing up.

Before you go pray for the priest you will meet, whether you know who that will be or not, for their vocation and their special intentions. I have prayed days in advance or as I found myself last minute waiting in the confessional line. I found that it’s all good, but when I started praying days in advance I was more prepared.

Ask your guardian angel to pray for you. They will stand beside you. And ask that ‘he’ go before you to help the priest’s guardian angel with you.

Your heart is burdened. I remember M. Angelica from EWTN gave out the encouragement I needed to go back to confession after a time away. She said go to confession and afterwards go eat a pizza. Made the idea a little festive.

I really like this advice Praying for you ineedofmercy