What is/isn't right at Catholic wedding Mass

[Della]

Della wrote:

What being given away symbolizes is that you are establishing your own family with your new husband and that your family agrees to this, via your father “giving away the bride”. I have heard of both mother and father doing this, which is nice too because it symbolizes the unity of husband and wife which you and your new husband desire to become, as well.

As for the grand entrance, I’ve always thought of it as symbolizing the bride of Christ, the Church, coming to her Lord in beauty and purity.

Not everything done at a wedding Mass needs to be in rubrics, you know. There are allowances for cultural ceremony, too, since all that is needed for a marriage to be valid is for a Catholic priest, deacon, or in extreme circumstances another lay Catholic to be present to witness your vows.

As ElizabethAnne cited, there is no reason to snub tradition, and hurt your family’s feelings, just because you want to be youthfully idealistic over non-essential elements of weddings in Western culture.

GoLatin wrote:

I want to follow the rubrics EXACTLY. I do not want anything that is outside of the liturgical rubrics.

And my immediate family is non-Catholic, so if I get married in the Catholic Church(I am not curently engaged, or even dating), my family would be so devastated, they might not even come. None of my family even knows about me being Catholic.

I am more concerned with following the Church rules, rather than what my family thinks.

I refuse to blindly follow secular tradition, even if it is entrenched in our culture.

A Nuptial Mass should focus on the Sacrament of Matrimony, not all of these various secular traditions.

And my Nuptial Mass will NOT have a Unity Candle!

Since the thread in which this discussion was begun was closed I thought I’d take it to a new thread since it had little to do with the topic of the other thread.

My response:

Well, it’s a bit too soon to be making wedding plans, don’t you think? You aren’t even dating at this point.

But, the point I was trying to make is that none of these cultural ceremonies I described are at variance with the Catholic wedding Mass. You can have as rich or as simple a ceremony as you want to have within certain limitations. But, I’m with you totally about the unity candle. It is redundant when you have already made vows to be united as one.

You will want to talk to the priest when you are actually planning a wedding to see what he allows and doesn’t allow in his parish. And, you might find that your fiancé and his family will have some traditions they might want to include. It isn’t going to be your wedding alone, is it, my dear?

Take it from an older woman who has had a lot of experience dealing with inter-family issues, a bit of give and take goes a long way towards keeping both families from having resentments down the road. We live in the real world, and while ideals are important they are not more important than treating everyone involved with love and understanding. :yup:

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

I know of give and take because I married outside of Mass out of consideration for my wife’s (non-Catholic) family. And the rubrics for weddings do offer considerable leeway. Yet I would never dream of violating the rubrics intentionally. The ends of accomodation don’t justify the means of disobeying Holy Mother Church.