What is modesty anyway?

[AmberDale]

It may have been Colleen Hammond who said this, I don’t remembeer. I heard it on EWTN radio… anyway

“From the shoulders to the knees, nobody touches nobody sees”. I think that is a good point to start. Nobody but your wife/husband should be able to see that area of your body and hopefully only in the privacy of your bedroom (or home).
I would rather my daughter and I not tempt others. I typically wear long skirts (like to my ankles is what I prefer), long pants (not tight), or capris. Shirts include long sleeve, 3/4 sleeve, short sleeve, some tanktops (usually only at home), but NO spaghetti straps, halter tops, backless. You get the idea.

 

[Jennifer_J]

This is why we are told not to judge. We just don’t have the ability to see into one another’s soul. We can only judge ourselves and try to control our own actions.

So, even if I decided that a burqua was necessary for me to be modest(don’t worry I won’t ) I can’t look at another Christian woman and judge her for not wearing a burqua. And on that note the non burqua wearing woman can’t judge me either.

No way!! We are certainly NOT called to judge someone’s soul (esp about what they are wearing), however, I am free to judge whether their clothing is appropriate or not and I’m especially allowed to make that judgement and teach my children whether something is modest or not. If we don’t use our judgment then how can we know something is a sin. Many people take that judgement scripture out of context (personal pet peeve).

And I agree with the above poster—there must be some objective criteria for modesty in our culture.

 

[GraceDK]

Interesting that I agree most of all with the British lady Bunny on the first page We are both Europeans so that explains alot.
I think a big change happend to me and my innocense/naivite when people started telling be I ought to be ashamed of the way I dressed. I had never had anyone say that to me before I met Catholics who told me this more or less directly. To make shame and embarrassment instilled in a person tells nothing about objective truth about modesty. Lets agree on that.

A few years back I would wear a tang top and short pants and think nothing of it… I was greatly puzzled at the fact that anyone could get turned on by my strange looking legs… so I came to think: hm… that too must be learned behaviour… and I still think so. In the moslem countries a bit of hair or the neck of a woman will arouse men to the point where they say they could not help assaulting her.

What I am saying is… yes, there is a huge cultural component. In my country you can be perfectly fine and not be judged as a woman if you wear tight pants, stilet red heels, bare shoulders and arms etc… even in Church… even in Catholic Churches. Men and women here just dont sexualize peoples clothes and intentions so much as I have found to be the case on these boards much to my surprise. (sometimes I do ask my self if there are underlying psychological reasons behind women being on other womens’ backs to dress very modestly).
I never heard a Christian man in my country say anything about Christian women wearing too little clothes… Faith and virtue has come to be about behaviour and inner attitudes… not about what you wear and don’t. People here are far more afraid of Pharisaism as a sin than of a pair of women shoulders.
However when men and women show part of their breasts, cleavage etc… it is then sexual… breasts are sexual… however, a strap that shows accidentally on the shoulder of a woman… that is not sexual unless one has learned that it is.

By the way… I saw a man yesterday … I walked right passed him… he had no shirt on and he was very fluffy… not a pretty sight… but no one forced me to look. I would not dream of telling him to put on a shirt… he was comfortable. the sun was shining and he was minding his own business.

Peace

 

[deb1]

Interesting that I agree most of all with the British lady Bunny on the first page We are both Europeans so that explains alot.
I think a big change happend to me and my innocense/naivite when people started telling be I ought to be ashamed of the way I dressed. I had never had anyone say that to me before I met Catholics who told me this more or less directly. To make shame and embarrassment instilled in a person tells nothing about objective truth about modesty. Lets agree on that.

A few years back I would wear a tang top and short pants and think nothing of it… I was greatly puzzled at the fact that anyone could get turned on by my strange looking legs… so I came to think: hm… that too must be learned behaviour… and I still think so. In the moslem countries a bit of hair or the neck of a woman will arouse men to the point where they say they could not help assaulting her.

What I am saying is… yes, there is a huge cultural component. In my country you can be perfectly fine and not be judged as a woman if you wear tight pants, stilet red heels, bare shoulders and arms etc… even in Church… even in Catholic Churches. Men and women here just dont sexualize peoples clothes and intentions so much as I have found to be the case on these boards much to my surprise. (sometimes I do ask my self if there are underlying psychological reasons behind women being on other womens’ backs to dress very modestly).
I never heard a Christian man in my country say anything about Christian women wearing too little clothes… Faith and virtue has come to be about behaviour and inner attitudes… not about what you wear and don’t. People here are far more afraid of Pharisaism as a sin than of a pair of women shoulders.
However when men and women show part of their breasts, cleavage etc… it is then sexual… breasts are sexual… however, a strap that shows accidentally on the shoulder of a woman… that is not sexual unless one has learned that it is.

By the way… I saw a man yesterday … I walked right passed him… he had no shirt on and he was very fluffy… not a pretty sight… but no one forced me to look. I would not dream of telling him to put on a shirt… he was comfortable. the sun was shining and he was minding his own business.

Peace

Oh my, this is an old thread. I had forgotten that I had even started it.

I don’t think that anyone should tell another person how to dress unless they are specifically asked for their opinion or they are the mother of an underage individual who still lives at home.

I do think that you have to take cultural standards as to what is modest. We as Christians are told to not give a bad witness to others. So, if I moved to an Islamic country, I suppose that I would cover my hair. If I moved to an island of topless women, I’d think about my clothing also. I might not go topless though. I don’t want to deal with sunburn on my sensitive areas.

Men seem oblivious to what they look like in certain attire. I’ve seen men in speedos at the beach who really did not have the body for such attire. On the plus side, such unattractive visions of the male body can’t hurt a girls’ desire to remain chaste.

Like you though, I would never walk up to the guy and tell him to put on a shirt or wear different swimming attire.

As far as women judging one another…women are tough on each other. Its been my observation that females tend to personalize issues to much. A woman who dresses in very modestly might indeed judge her less modest sister but I’ve noticed that judging works both ways. Sometimes the less modestly dressed woman does judge the more covered female harshly or make assumptions that the other woman is judging her(I hope that was worded in a way that made sense)