What is My Cross?

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scrupulousrvrt

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Before reading: I have a therapist I am seeing every month, but the progress is moving at a glacial pace (kind of like perfection, eh?)

To the point: each and every day up until today I have been crushed by my Cross under it’s enormous weight. Every time I pick it up, the burden gets so heavy that I snap and go AWOL. Now I’m afraid that I’ve rejected it too many times and have no cross to carry to eternal glory. I am of the opinion that I either carry a burden too heavy to carry daily or risk being separated from God. My brain disorder is the only Cross that I know and without it I’m left in confusion, wondering when/what my next Cross will be. “Will it be from God or will I have to find one?”
“Hard is way that leads to life” Indeed.

(BTW, what is “True Life”?, I never really understood it)
 
The cross is to take on with gratitude whatever God sends you that day, especially the annoyments.

Only one time did Jesus every say “learn of me”, and that was when he said “for I am meek and humble of heart.”

Meek means gentle not weak. Do everything in a spirit of gentleness toward yourself, neighbor, and even God. And the second part is humble which means to serve the other person first and yourself second. Be interested and caring for everyone else including those who offend you or you don’t care for. That is what Jesus did. That is the sum of the cross of everyday life which needs to be met on a day to day basis.

And it is important to do it out of love for Jesus.
 
And if one have many neurological disorders? I almost always think in black and white, but the Shurch is gray with the caveat that obedience to the Church is obedience to Christ. I can’t stand not being assured of anything. Either it is or it isn’t. Asperger’s Syndrome does me no favor’s. It’s either true or false. Guaranteed or not or forget it. Must be once and for all at once or what’s the point!?

Black and White, no gray kind of thinking
 
Random people on the internet can’t answer this question for you. Talking with your therapist and possibly getting a spiritual director wouod be advised. And someone who knows you is better than us.

We can only speak in generalities and try assuring you there is a way and it seems you need more. Have a blessed day.
 
Hi, I’m an Aspie (and have had encephalitis) and am in my 60s and am still single as yet.

I come from a very imaginative background and have been encouraged to inquire into things. I love creating visual and spatial pictures in my mind, and using words and metaphors to describe concepts and ideas and situations. I love maths, history and the sciences though not much trained in them.

I find that my weak areas have become my strong points because I explore the potential in things that the “neurotypical” allow to go to waste.

I didn’t know there was a name for “it” till after healing prayers I read the works of the writer Donna Williams and was put in touch with her. Being healed didn’t mean being cured - it just meant being more “me”!

The constant neuralgia. The feeling overwhelmed. The being inarticulate. I just cherish being me.

I call John Henry Newman the Apostle of Grey Areas. Truth is pressed down and overflowing with ifs and buts. I love them!

The most important principles I think, are time, the ground under our feet, values and boundaries.

When I took a train to the city of Avila the old walls appeared first in the left hand window then in the right hand window, and then the same again, several times over. When I drove down a country lane I could only see to the next corner. When we get out of bed all we think we know is one day - or maybe one hour or one minute. It is God’s gift to us there and then.

I’m convinced God does not intend for us to be perfectionist. We can minister to others before we get “sorted out”. I love to try and mentor fellow congregation members in, in turn mentoring others. As they gain a crown I shall have a share in their crown.

Are there things you have had a flair for or been drawn to doing that you felt you didn’t have “permission” to do - maybe when much younger? It’s only recently I got the idea of researching history and gave myself the “permission” and was no longer ashamed to pursue it. I shall share my write-up and show people they needn’t believe the teachers who told them they didn’t have it in them to understand the dumbed-down version they were given.
 
scrupulousrvrt said:
Before reading: I have a therapist I am seeing every month, but the progress is moving at a glacial pace (kind of like perfection, eh?)

To the point: each and every day up until today I have been crushed by my Cross under it’s enormous weight. Every time I pick it up, the burden gets so heavy that I snap and go AWOL. Now I’m afraid that I’ve rejected it too many times and have no cross to carry to eternal glory. I am of the opinion that I either carry a burden too heavy to carry daily or risk being separated from God. My brain disorder is the only Cross that I know and without it I’m left in confusion, wondering when/what my next Cross will be. “Will it be from God or will I have to find one?”
“Hard is way that leads to life” Indeed.

(BTW, what is “True Life”?, I never really understood it)
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Direct your life to Jesus. For He said;

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
 
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