What is (NFP) Natural Family Planning

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MarkSutherin87

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I am sorry if this question may sound a tad too inappropriate but please recognize that I’m intend to ask this question with the softest language that I can possibly while still asking the question.
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I am concerned with something.  I recently decided to join The Catholic Church and am overjoyed so far and simply cannot wait for my Confirmation this Easter :).  I have been doing some research on openness to life during sexual intercourse between a husband and wife.  I understand that unnatural contraception such as birth control, hysterectomy, condoms, and DEFINITELY abortion are condemned by The Church teaching (unless a rare excuse due to medical problems).  I understand a little bit about NFP like abstaining from intercourse on the woman's most fertile period of the month and then engaging in intercourse in the woman's least fertile period of the month is accepted by the Catholic Church.

But one thing that I have not been able to discover is if the method  --  again I'll try to use the most mild language I can --  is the method of "pulling-out" a couple seconds before  --  you know  --  the sperm is released?  Is this method accepted?  I understand there is a passage in The Bible that states that we should not "Spill our seed" but is this referring to masturbation or the "pull-out" method?
 
Yes it is referring to “pulling out” and no that is not acceptable. Its also fairly ineffective for avoiding conception.

Slight clarification on the NFP bit. You abstain when she is fertile and have relations when she is NOT (as opposed to less) fertile. Its not the idea of controlling births that’s against Church teaching but deliberately frustrating the act. I’d suggest reading The Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West.

There are several different NFP methods for determining when when she is fertile you can find some information on the sympto thermal method form nfpandmore.com/ or ccli.org/
 
Darn. I was afraid of that hehe. When I perform this action I always, in the back of my mind, thought something was wrong with it and not aligned with God’s will. But I guess I never gave it enough thought.

Just to let you know though. You say its fairly ineffective but I disagree with that. I have been doing this for over 2 years (As I now sadly regret those sins) and have never impregnated my wife accidentally. My parents did so for just about 10 years between my oldest brother and my second oldest brother, and who knows how long after me. But I guess it would be futile to argue about this lol because it is not the will of God and shouldn’t be practiced anyways.

Thank you for sharing this information with me… sometimes the truth hurts :(. But I don’t want anything to hinder my relationship with God. These are but temporary pleasures and should never stand in the way. It will be hard to abstain from this practice but I know that God will give us the grace to align ourselves with His will. Thank you.
 
As already noted and discussed above, “pulling out” is not a morally acceptable way to avoid pregnancy, nor is it what we refer to as “Natural Family Planning.” Natural Family Planning (NFP) monitors the woman’s fertility. There are various methods to do this. As approved by the Catholic Church, the couple decides prayerfully if they have “just*” reasons to avoid a pregnancy. (* sometimes translated from Church documents as “serious” or “grave”) If the couple discerns they should avoid pregnancy, then they abstain from relations during the woman’s fertile time.

Because NFP involves abstaining from sexual relations, couples frequently re-evaluate if the reasons they wish to avoid pregnancy are serious enough. Those couples with less-than-serious reasons for avoiding pregnancy, are probably more likely to reconsider not abstaining from relations. Proper use of NFP relies on prayerful discernment and (if the couple feels called to avoid pregnancy) abstainance from marital relations.
 
MarkSutherin87 said:
…I recently decided to join The Catholic Church and am overjoyed so far and simply cannot wait for my Confirmation this Easter :).
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And welcome to both Catholic Answers Forum and the Catholic Church.🙂

You are certainly not to first couple to face some challenges from the Church’s teaching on sexuality, nor will you be the last. As you wrote, it may be a struggle to change this habit, but God will give you the grace. God bless you for asking a tough question and being ready to hear an answer you didn’t want to hear. And again, welcome!
 
Congratulations on joining the Catholic Church! Having written the below, I now see others have replied before me, and you yourself have replied, but here goes anyway 🙂
MarkSutherin87 said:
I understand a little bit about NFP like abstaining from intercourse on the woman’s most fertile period of the month and then engaging in intercourse in the woman’s least fertile period of the month is accepted by the Catholic Church.
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NFP is, quite simply, about tracking the woman’s fertility using different signs (the Billings method is another one), then you can use that information either to achieve or prayerfully avoid a possible pregnancy by timing when you have sexual intercourse.
MarkSutherin87 said:
But one thing that I have not been able to discover is if the method – again I’ll try to use the most mild language I can – is the method of “pulling-out” a couple seconds before – you know – the sperm is released? Is this method accepted? I understand there is a passage in The Bible that states that we should not “Spill our seed” but is this referring to masturbation or the “pull-out” method?
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That passage of scripture (talking about Onan, I think?) does speak strongly against what is know as “the withdrawal method” - my understanding is that the Catholic Church has always taught that this is immoral since it is another way of trying to have the unitive aspect of sex but avoid the procreative, much like using a condom.

Best of luck learning about NFP if you need to avoid pregnancy at the moment 🙂
 
Regarding the Church’s teaching on marital intimacy:

You can either engage in the act with your spouse or not. But, anytime you do engage in the act it must be a completed act of intercourse.

That is why “pulling out” is contraception. It fails to complete the act as God designed it. Natural Family Planning, OTOH, is simply information about the woman’s cycle. You use the information to decide whether to have intercourse or not. NFP can also be used to *achieve *pregnancy by reversing the instructions and timing intercourse when the wife is most fertile.
 
MarkSutherin87 said:
Just to let you know though. You say its fairly ineffective but I disagree with that. I have been doing this for over 2 years (As I now sadly regret those sins) and have never impregnated my wife accidentally. My parents did so for just about 10 years between my oldest brother and my second oldest brother, and who knows how long after me. But I guess it would be futile to argue about this lol because it is not the will of God and shouldn’t be practiced anyways.
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2 couples anecdotes (especially without any regard to true fertility) do not make accurate scientific observations. Just sayin.
 
MarkSutherin87 said:
You say its fairly ineffective but I disagree with that.
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I will agree with other posters regarding the ineffectiveness of withdrawal as a means to prevent pregnancy.

In a nutshell…it is most definitely “fairly ineffective”…you have just been lucky for two years.
 
Ok. Perhaps it is innefective for other people. Or perhaps it is innefective when you are drunk… or just stupid. But I honestly don’t see how anyone in their right mind can mess it up. I mean, for me its 100% no question. I don’t even need a pregnancy test because I KNOW that there is no possible way. Well… you have to understand. POPTARTS have instructions on the back because some people can get hurt doing something as simple as heating poptarts lol.

Anyways, this action cannot be done anyways so I don’t even know why I am argueing lol. This will be my last.

Thanks for all you’re helpful answers.
God Bless
Mark
 
MarkSutherin87 said:
Ok. Perhaps it is innefective for other people. Or perhaps it is innefective when you are drunk… or just stupid. But I honestly don’t see how anyone in their right mind can mess it up. I mean, for me its 100% no question. I don’t even need a pregnancy test because I KNOW that there is no possible way. Well… you have to understand. POPTARTS have instructions on the back because some people can get hurt doing something as simple as heating poptarts lol.

Anyways, this action cannot be done anyways so I don’t even know why I am argueing lol. This will be my last.

Thanks for all you’re helpful answers.
God Bless
Mark
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This is not a matter of “timing” or knowing how to do it. This is scientific that it is not reliable. Again, your experience does not make truth.

How do you know its 100% no question for you? In order for you to know that, you’d have to know that there would have been a pregnancy otherwise every time you did it. You don’t know if it was the “method” that kept the conception from happening. Perhaps there was an early miscarriage. Perhaps she was very infertile.

It is not a reliable method because semen can “leak” ahead of climax and if the woman is fertile, it can get to where it needs to go.
 
agapewolf said:
It is not a reliable method because semen can “leak” ahead of climax and if the woman is fertile, it can get to where it needs to go.
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I was about to jump in and say this. This is one of the many reasons (besides proper sexual morality) that NFP rules say “no genital contact” and not just “no intercourse” during the fertile time if you are trying to avoid. It has nothing to do with your “timing”, but with the presence of sperm in pre-ejaculate. Even my basic sex-ed classes in school taught that “pulling out” is not a good method of birth control for this very reason.

Basically, determined sperm + fertile cervical mucus = pregnant. It’s not as far-fetched as it sounds.
 
Welcome! NFP is difficult for a while until you really start to SEE through practicing the abstinance period how God intended there to be a link between sex and procreation. I second the recommendation to try reading Christopher West’s “Good News About Sex and Marriage.” It will blow your mind.

More good news: once you understand how NFP works you are going to find rather quickly that it is a LOT nicer to finish inside - for BOTH of you! 😉

You may have to abstain sometimes, but when you don’t you’re in for a nice upgrade.
 
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