what is off limits in the bedroom

[Ham1]

I think she (he?) was answering the question as originally worded which doesn’t explicitly mention “morally.” In which case that answer is correct, however, I am pretty sure the original poster was asking what can morally be done in the bedroom.

 

[dmm2000]

marina:

You and your wife can do whatever you want.

Marina,

Sense we are to do all things for the glory of God, I would expect you mean to do whatever one wants to make one happy (blessed) in accordance with God’s plan for a husband and wife. God has shared with us how we can find true happiness (blessedness) in our marital embraces.

Should we do what we want, or should we listen to God and do what he tells us will make us happy?

 

[marina]

felra:

By whose authority do you give carte blanche permission without any morally defined restrictive considerations? Please cite source.

And by whose authority gives you carte blanche to look down your nose at me?
Lighten up. Or is that against all teachings too?

 

[dmm2000]

Proverbs 15:1

A mild answer calms wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

 

[Ham1]

“Shiny happy people holding hands”
-REM

 

[felra]

marina:

And by whose authority gives you carte blanche to look down your nose at me?
Lighten up. Or is that against all teachings too?

Why all the defensiveness? A simple question to clarify your unqualified, ambiguous reply given to a fellow poster?

 

[marina]

felra:

Why all the defensiveness? A simple question to clarify your unqualified, ambiguous reply given to a fellow poster?

Why felra… you’re so innocent, being attacked for no reason what-so-ever.

1 Thessalonians 4:11

Proverbs 26:17

1 Peter 4:15

Thessalonians 3:11

1 Timothy 5:13

 

[Other_Eric]

Hi drknbrew!

Just invite an apologist, a theologian and perhaps a bishop or two in to watch and referee everything.

 

[misericordie]

baltobetsy:

It all boils down to: climax outside of intercourse is not allowed.

If you’re going to have intercourse, anything you do leading up to intercourse that’s not offensive, degrading or dangerous is OK.

If you’re not going to have intercourse, you must be aware of your personal “point of no return” and not go beyond it. As married people, you have rights that single people do not in regards to touching each other and expressing love, even when you do not intend to “go all the way.” You simply must not go so far in this expression that climax is inevitable. Newlyweds have more leeway here, because they’re just learning about their sexuality. Mistakes happen when you’re learning. But God knows your intentions, and you cannot plan an “accidental” climax.

Also, because of the differences between men and women, you need to be careful not to lead your spouse into solitary sin. What is a “safe” level of stimulation for one may be too much for the other. Keep communicating!

God bless you!
Betsy

n In my neutral stance are you sure this is the case by dogmatic definition? I mean the guy here is talking about the spouse he married IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND.

 

[misericordie]

Genesis315:

Just make sure you deposit your seed where it’s supposed to be deposited. If you do anything sexual with your wife, you just need to finish up in the right place–otherwise what you’re doing is not open to life.

 

[cheese_sdc]

“My wife and I are confused about what we can and can’t do in our bedroom. Does every act have to end in intercourse? What about mutual stimulation and oral sex?”

Look, some of the things posted here I disagree with completely. Don’t worry about “depositing your seed” in the wrong place, or any other… stuff.

Love your wife. Have fun. Explore. Listen to her.

Question the Church. These are the same guys that once said that women don’t have souls and said slavery is okay.

 

[Genesis315]

cheese_sdc:

Look, some of the things posted here I disagree with completely. Don’t worry about “depositing your seed” in the wrong place, or any other… stuff.

Mutual masturbation is not part of God’s plan. Severing the unitve and procreative aspects of sex is disorded. Mutual masturbation is neither unitive nor procreative.

Love your wife.

I agree whole heartedly.

Have fun.

Yep, good old fashioned moral fun.

Explore.

Yep, it’s definitely a good idea to learn each other’s bodies and get them in rhythm with one another. In your “exploration,” just don’t stray into degrading weird stuff that isn’t unitive, procreative or neither.

Listen to her.

Yep, that’s good.

Question the Church. These are the same guys that once said that women don’t have souls and said slavery is okay

And you’re wrong on both counts here. The Magesterium has never declared women soulless. And the Magesterium has always condemned chattel slavery.

 

[Katie1723]

felra:

By whose authority do you give carte blanche permission without any morally defined restrictive considerations? Please cite source.

You know, I think it’s funny. We are sitting here saying what we “should " do according to the church’s teaching. But I would bet my last dollar that there aren’t too many here who haven’t indulged in something “sinful” at one time or another. After all we are human.
I like this posters take on things… " Just invite an apologist, a theologian and perhaps a bishop or two in to watch and referee everything.” Lighten up folks. That’s why we are so uptight! Personally I think in married sex, so long as both partners are agreeable, what happens in the bedroom is between the two involved.
~ Kathy ~

 

[Fritzie_Frank]

I do not do butt sex with my husband. He gets mad. But I don’t think it is good. If it was his butt, he would not want to either.

FzFk

 

[Genesis315]

Katie1723:

You know, I think it’s funny. We are sitting here saying what we "should " do according to the church’s teaching. But I would bet my last dollar that there aren’t too many here who haven’t indulged in something “sinful” at one time or another. After all we are human.

Just because we’ve all sinned doesn’t mean sinning is ok or should be condoned or that we shouldn’t resolve not to sin.

I like this posters take on things… " Just invite an apologist, a theologian and perhaps a bishop or two in to watch and referee everything." Lighten up folks. That’s why we are so uptight! Personally I think in married sex, so long as both partners are agreeable, what happens in the bedroom is between the two involved.
~ Kathy ~

See, here is your biggest error. It’s not just between the two in the bedroom. God is involved also. God needs to be present in every aspect of our life, including the bedroom. Sex between husband and wife is a sacred event. You need to read Theology of the Body.

 

[contemplative]

contemplative:

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y188/ginnyroc/crumbs.jpg

No food in bed ( I don’t like crumbs ) and no electronic devices such as television, telephone, cell phones, computers or radios.

I just don’t like crumbs and electronics.

 

[Katie1723]

Genesis315:

Just because we’ve all sinned doesn’t mean sinning is ok or should be condoned or that we shouldn’t resolve not to sin.

See, here is your biggest error. It’s not just between the two in the bedroom. God is involved also. God needs to be present in every aspect of our life, including the bedroom. Sex between husband and wife is a sacred event. You need to read Theology of the Body.

Sinning is not ok…all I am saying is I would bet MOST of us have done it…we just don’t admit it. And I agree…God should be present in all aspects of our lives…but we are human, and as such are prone to sin. But even Jesus forgave the prostitute.
~ Kathy ~

 

[Scott_Waddell]

marina:

Why felra… you’re so innocent, being attacked for no reason what-so-ever.

1 Thessalonians 4:11

Proverbs 26:17

1 Peter 4:15

Thessalonians 3:11

1 Timothy 5:13

Actually, whether he is innocent or being completely coy is irrelevant to the fact that he has asked a legitimate question. Do you have an answer that actually engages the argument rather than scripture spam?

Scott

 

[Genesis315]

Katie1723:

Sinning is not ok…all I am saying is I would bet MOST of us have done it…we just don’t admit it. And I agree…God should be present in all aspects of our lives…but we are human, and as such are prone to sin. But even Jesus forgave the prostitute.
~ Kathy ~

Exactly, but he didn’t say go on prostituting. He said prostituting is wrong, stop it.

In your previous post it sounded as if you were condoning doing whatever you feel like in the bedroom, regardless of its morality.

 

[cheese_sdc]

Genesis315:

Mutual masturbation is not part of God’s plan. Severing the unitve and procreative aspects of sex is disorded.

Except that’s what NFP does. I’ve practiced NFP for my entire married life. I’ve read Humanae Vitea, which states that a couple can engage in sex that has 0% chance of conception.

To me, it seems like that is severing the unitive and procreative aspects of sex.

And you’re wrong on both counts here. The Magesterium has never declared women soulless. And the Magesterium has always condemned chattel slavery.

Where was the magesterium of the Church during the '50’s and 60’s to stand up for the rights of blacks? Why didn’t the Pope’s come out and condemn the prejudice and segregation that was rampant in the South? And where was the church in condemning wage slavery in the northern factories? Instead it condemns such insidious ideas as democracy and unions.

The Church is a living, breathing organism that can change. It is not perfect, it is being perfected. So that leaves some room for growth and change. The Church is also heavily influenced by the culture around it (and that’s not necessarily a bad thing). We need to open our eyes to be able to say: this thing is not right; let’s tweak it this way and see what happens.

I don’t hold with the idea that the church is an unchanging monolith of an organization. It makes mistakes, and by the grace of God, muddles through them.