I guess I asked the question wrong. My boyfriend and I want to be intimate but do not know how far we can go without sinning. I don’t know what the Catholic view on this is and wanted advise. Can we cuddle or go beyond that in any way before it is considered a sin?
If you ask: “How far is too far”, it is likely you have already gone too far.
You have to ask, not: “how much can I do before the wedding night and still be a virgin?”, but rather “how much can I save my self as a gift to my future husband?”.
I know it seems unthinkable right now that you might be alone one day soon, laying in your bed at night after you boyfriend and you have broken up, and thinking: “I gave this guy something that he never should have had”. But that is going to happen.
Even if you two end up marrying this guy down the road - and you dont know that this man will be your husband until you are at the alter and he said YES - you will know he did not protect your purity nor his own.
The Bible is clear: “Our bodies do not belong to ourselves, but to Christ, we should keep our bodies holy, they are the temple of the Holy Spirit”. In other words… if you touch your boy friend you sin against him and risk his salvation. Is this love?
Also think about this: If another man turns out to become your husband, how far would you like him to go with his current girlfriend tonight? Would you like him to engage in mutual stimulation of genital regions with his current girl friend or will you hope he waits for you?
Look. I know from my own life that our sexuality is a huge force in our bodies, but what you do tonight or in the coming weekend will remain with you, be part of you, for as long as you live and even into eternal life. You will have flash backs for a long time… the desire will be in your body… and there will be shame … the pain of which is so intolerable.
Do you want to stay pure until your wedding night? Then you gotta dedicate your self seriously and find a man who is likewise virtuous and comitted to respecting his own and your body instead of taking all he can get away with like some thief.
An aquintance of mine wept on her wedding night because her and her fiance had not been completely chaste prior to marriage. She felt there was no real giff to unwrap for her husband nor herself.
As for me I have messed up in the past and made my own life hell for it for a long time. I knew I was a walking dead until I got my priorities straight. Fornication leads to damnation but more importantly, in this life, it leads to so much sadness…
I cannot emphasise enough to you, dear little sister, how you should do everything in your power to stay away from the bitterness I and so many have experienced.
One day I will have to tell my future husband that I was tempted in one moment in my life to give myself over to someone to whom I did not belong. One moment. That’s all it takes.
If you have done stupid things, now is the time to stop and save whatever you still have.
Go to
www.pureloveclub.com and listen to the ROMANCE WITHOUT REGRET speech there… It will change how you look at all these things, and it will empower you to get your priorities in perspective. Right now you are blinded by love and desire and the pleasure of the moment. But there is a whole life ahead of you where Jesus is your only firm point.
Don’t let any one touch you. Remember how Josef in the old Testament was tempted by Pharao’s wife… she even undressed him but he ran away in that moment because he knew his worth.
Study all the examples of the PURE ones… there are so many, both among the living and the dead. Dont become like one of us who can never be martyrs of purity.
Peace to you… oh yes… and you can read soo many other threads about this subject too… just use the SEARCH-button
