What Is So Bad About Sex?

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I really wish I remember the quote better, but there was some Bishop who said in response to a question like this something like, “you can swing from the ceiling fan if you want as long as the man ends up in the woman.”
And of course as long as you own the ceiling… creak…
 
But every time I say that sex is for procreation only, and should only be done within a marriage, for absolutely anything else is to be considered a sin of lust and adultery, and sex is only for married people period, many Catholics tell me I’m wrong. Now I’m really confused.
I have put in bold the part that is incorrect according to Catholic theology.

Sex is for BOTH procreation and the unity of the spouses.

Every sex act must be **ordered **to procreation to be properly expressed. That means it’s vaginal intercourse, and a complete act. That means it is not contracepted.

That does not mean the couple must will procreation or that they cannot come together on infertile days of a woman’s cycle, after menopause, etc.

In other words, if you believe Catholics can only have sex to try to have a baby-- you are incorrect.
 
So we watch ‘SEX AND THE CITY’, we read spicy novels, love to make love with our spouses and want more, enjoy a little voyeurism on the internet/tv.
Why are we so preoccupied with how bad that is for us?
Don’t get me wrong here! I am a devout Catholic and believe Sex should only be between spouses, but without a little fun, sex can get boring. Who wants to eat oatmeal every day? Why can’t we spice up our love life ?
Your views please. Thanks!
Maria Rose, please read what God thinks of what you do and teach to others, it is abominable and will lead you to Hell unless you repent and change from your wicked ways. All people that you deceive by your worldly lustful lifestyle will you receive a severer punishment in Hell for, still, if you amend your ways, you will be forgiven.

Book 1, Chapter 16
www.saintbirgitta.com

The bride saw one of the saints speaking to God and saying: “Why is the devil afflicting the soul of this woman whom you redeemed by your blood?” The devil answered immediately and said: “Because she is mine by right.” And the Lord said: “By what right is she yours?” The devil answered him: “There are,” he said, "two paths. One leads to heaven, the other to hell. When she beheld these two paths, her conscience and her reason told that she should choose my path. And because she had a free will for selecting the path of her choice, she thought it would be advantageous to turn her will toward committing sin, and she began to walk along my path.

Later I deceived her through three vices: gluttony, greed for money, and sensuality. Now I dwell in her belly and in her nature. I hold on to her by five hands. With one hand I hold her eyes, so she will not see spiritual things. With the second one I hold her hands, so she will not perform any good deeds. With the third one I hold her feet, so she will not stray over to goodness. With the fourth one I hold her intellect, so she will not be ashamed to sin. And with the fifth one I hold her heart, so she will not return through contrition."

The Blessed Virgin Mary then said to her Son: “My Son, make him tell the truth about what I want to ask him.” The Son said: “You are my Mother, you are the Queen of Heaven, you are the Mother of mercy, you are the consolation of the souls in purgatory, you are the joy of those making their way in the world. You are the angels’ sovereign Mistress, the most excellent creature before God. You are also Mistress over the devil. Command this demon yourself, Mother, and he will tell you whatever you want.” The Blessed Virgin then asked the devil: “Tell me, devil, what intention did this woman have before entering the church?” The devil answered her: “She had resolved to keep from sin.”

And the Virgin Mary said to him: “Inasmuch as her previous intention led her to hell, tell me, in what direction does her present intention of keeping from sin tend?” The devil answered her reluctantly: “The intention of keeping from sin leads her toward heaven.” The Virgin Mary said: “Because you accepted that it was your just right to lead her away from the path of the Holy Church due to her previous intention, then it is now a matter of justice that she be led back to the church on account of her present intention. Now, devil, I will put another question to you: Tell me, what intention does she have in her present state of conscience?”

The devil answered: “In her mind she is terribly contrite and sorry about the things she has done, and she resolves never to commit such sins anymore but wants to improve as far as she is able.” The Virgin then asked the devil: “Would you tell me if the three sins of sensuality, gluttony, and greed can exist in a heart at the same time as the three good dispositions of contrition, sorrow, and the purpose of amendment?” The devil answered: “No.” And the Blessed Virgin said: “Would you tell me, then, which of these should shrink away and vanish from her heart, the three virtues or the three vices that you say cannot occupy the same place at the same time?” The devil replied: “I say, the sins.”

And the Virgin answered: “The path to hell, then, is closed to her and the path to heaven lies open to her.” Again the Blessed Virgin asked the devil: “Tell me, if a robber lay in wait outside the doors of the bride and wanted to rape her, what would the bridegroom do?” The devil answered: “If the bridegroom is good and noble, he should defend her and risk his life for her sake.” Then the Virgin said: “You are the wicked robber. This soul is the bride of the bridegroom, my Son, who redeemed her with his own blood. You corrupted and seized her by force. Therefore, since my Son is the bridegroom of her soul and Lord over you, then it is your role to flee before him.”
 
Book 1, Chapter 13
www.saintbirgitta.com

Christ spoke: My enemy has three demons within him. The first resides in his genitals, the second in his heart, the third in his mouth. The first is like a seaman, who lets water in through the keel, and the water, by increasing gradually, fills up the ship. There is a flood of water then, and the ship sinks. This ship stands for his body that is assailed by the temptations of demons and by his own lusts as though by storms. Lust entered first through the keel, that is, through the delight he took in bad thoughts. Since he did not resist through penance or fill the holes with the nails of abstinence, the water of lust grew day by day through his consenting.

The ship being then replete or filled with the concupiscence of the belly, the water flooded and engulfed the ship in lust so that he was unable to reach the port of salvation. The second demon, residing in his heart, is like a worm lying in an apple that first eats the apple’s core, and then, after leaving its excrements there, roams around inside the apple until the whole apple is ruined. This is what the devil does. First he spoils a person’s will and good desires, which are like the core where all the mind’s strength and goodness are found, and, once the heart has been emptied of these goods, then he puts in their place in the heart the worldly thoughts and affections that the person had loved more. He then impels the body itself toward his pleasure and, for this reason, the man’s courage and understanding diminish and his life becomes tedious. He is indeed an apple without a core, that is, a man without a heart, since he enters my church without a heart, because he has no charity.

The third demon is like an archer who, looking around through the windows, shoots the unwary. How can the devil not be in a man who is always including him in his conversation? That which is loved more is more frequently mentioned. The harsh words by which he wounds others are like arrows shot through as many windows as the number of times he mentions the devil or as many times as his words wound innocent people and scandalize simple folk. I who am the truth swear by my truth that I shall condemn him like a whore to fire and brimstone, like an insidious traitor to the mutilation of his limbs, like a scoffer of the Lord to perpetual shame. However, as long as his soul and body are still united, my mercy is open to him. What I require of him is to attend the divine services more frequently, not to be afraid of any reproach or desire any honor and never to have that sinister name on his lips again.

www.saintbirgitta.com
 
No, directed at maria rose who ‘enjoys a little voyeurism on internet/tv’ among her other ways of ‘spicing up’ her sex life.
Actually I personally have not engaged in voyeurism on the internet, but I have seen SEX AND THE CITY and read spicy novels.
One of you guys said all he needs is his wife “her whole person” Very noble indeed! But how about changing the packaging design(sexy outfits) or lusty Novels/poetry read together ? Is that bad as well?
 
Listen to Father Corapi, or the many others, on this very subject. Why are we so obsessed with sex - not just sex, but sex for no reason other than personal, selfish gratification. Why not invite a third? After all, you’re all consenting. Your faith life will improve immediately if you stop watching TV. It’s wonderful. Try celibacy for a year or two. Ha!
I have been practically celibate for a year because of dh’"s health issues and it rots. It’s not about the # of people but the right and privilige to enjoy conjugal relations with your spouse in an exciting way.
I agree spiritual formation is crucial and growing in that way together, but why is sexuality so demonised? It’s incredible when we enjoy it with our beloved if fun and spontaneous. I’m just wondering how to make slotA into BG more exciting.
Having aq hard time expressing myself without getting to graphic.
 
Actually I personally have not engaged in voyeurism on the internet, but I have seen SEX AND THE CITY and read spicy novels.
Talk to your priest in confession regarding this for guidance.
But how about changing the packaging design(sexy outfits)
That does not violate God’s law
or lusty Novels/poetry read together ? Is that bad as well?
Pornography always violates God’s law. So if the material you suggest is pornography, it is out. “How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Count The Ways”-- fine.
 
I agree spiritual formation is crucial and growing in that way together, but why is sexuality so demonised?
Demonized by whom?
It’s incredible when we enjoy it with our beloved if fun and spontaneous. I’m just wondering how to make slotA into BG more exciting.
If you do not think sexual intimacy with your spouse is exciting, perhaps you need some counseling. You should not need theatrics to be excited about having sexual relations with your spouse.
 
Maria Rose, please read what God thinks of what you do and teach to others, it is abominable and will lead you to Hell unless you repent and change from your wicked ways. All people that you deceive by your worldly lustful lifestyle will you receive a severer punishment in Hell for, still, if you amend your ways, you will be forgiven.

Book 1, Chapter 16
www.saintbirgitta.com

The bride saw one of the saints speaking to God and saying: “Why is the devil afflicting the soul of this woman whom you redeemed by your blood?” The devil answered immediately and said: “Because she is mine by right.” And the Lord said: “By what right is she yours?” The devil answered him: “There are,” he said, "two paths. One leads to heaven, the other to hell. When she beheld these two paths, her conscience and her reason told that she should choose my path. And because she had a free will for selecting the path of her choice, she thought it would be advantageous to turn her will toward committing sin, and she began to walk along my path.

Later I deceived her through three vices: gluttony, greed for money, and sensuality. Now I dwell in her belly and in her nature. I hold on to her by five hands. With one hand I hold her eyes, so she will not see spiritual things. With the second one I hold her hands, so she will not perform any good deeds. With the third one I hold her feet, so she will not stray over to goodness. With the fourth one I hold her intellect, so she will not be ashamed to sin. And with the fifth one I hold her heart, so she will not return through contrition."

The Blessed Virgin Mary then said to her Son: “My Son, make him tell the truth about what I want to ask him.” The Son said: “You are my Mother, you are the Queen of Heaven, you are the Mother of mercy, you are the consolation of the souls in purgatory, you are the joy of those making their way in the world. You are the angels’ sovereign Mistress, the most excellent creature before God. You are also Mistress over the devil. Command this demon yourself, Mother, and he will tell you whatever you want.” The Blessed Virgin then asked the devil: “Tell me, devil, what intention did this woman have before entering the church?” The devil answered her: “She had resolved to keep from sin.”

And the Virgin Mary said to him: “Inasmuch as her previous intention led her to hell, tell me, in what direction does her present intention of keeping from sin tend?” The devil answered her reluctantly: “The intention of keeping from sin leads her toward heaven.” The Virgin Mary said: “Because you accepted that it was your just right to lead her away from the path of the Holy Church due to her previous intention, then it is now a matter of justice that she be led back to the church on account of her present intention. Now, devil, I will put another question to you: Tell me, what intention does she have in her present state of conscience?”

The devil answered: “In her mind she is terribly contrite and sorry about the things she has done, and she resolves never to commit such sins anymore but wants to improve as far as she is able.” The Virgin then asked the devil: “Would you tell me if the three sins of sensuality, gluttony, and greed can exist in a heart at the same time as the three good dispositions of contrition, sorrow, and the purpose of amendment?” The devil answered: “No.” And the Blessed Virgin said: “Would you tell me, then, which of these should shrink away and vanish from her heart, the three virtues or the three vices that you say cannot occupy the same place at the same time?” The devil replied: “I say, the sins.”

And the Virgin answered: “The path to hell, then, is closed to her and the path to heaven lies open to her.” Again the Blessed Virgin asked the devil: “Tell me, if a robber lay in wait outside the doors of the bride and wanted to rape her, what would the bridegroom do?” The devil answered: “If the bridegroom is good and noble, he should defend her and risk his life for her sake.” Then the Virgin said: “You are the wicked robber. This soul is the bride of the bridegroom, my Son, who redeemed her with his own blood. You corrupted and seized her by force. Therefore, since my Son is the bridegroom of her soul and Lord over you, then it is your role to flee before him.”
This exactly what I mean. First of all I DON’T live an abomination of a lifestyle. I am married in the church and my dh and I are faithful to each other. But after 14 years of marriage things become routine in that area and routine is boring to a degree. I am NOT seeking outside adventures, I want them at home with dh. But it appears that for us Catholics sex is just a necessity for procreation and unity, but the most holy and desirable is to live without and solely focus on the Divine. Isn’t marriage and so the marital act holy as well? So why not love the heck out of each other(spouses)?
 
But it appears that for us Catholics sex is just a necessity for procreation and unity, but the most holy and desirable is to live without and solely focus on the Divine.
Where did you get that idea?
Isn’t marriage and so the marital act holy as well?
Yes, it is a holy act.
So why not love the heck out of each other(spouses)?
The marriage act is so holy that it cannot be profaned.

To use pornography, engage in disordered sex acts, engage in “voyeurism”, etc, is to **profane **a sacred act. It is the equivalent of spitting the Eucharist on the floor.

God created sex for the spouses. He created it good. It is sin that creates disordered desires. If you desire these things, ask God to cleanse you from them so that you can desire your husband in the way God created the sex act to be.
 
Demonized by whom?

If you do not think sexual intimacy with your spouse is exciting, perhaps you need some counseling. You should not need theatrics to be excited about having sexual relations with your spouse.
Anytime I say antyhhing about sex , THE SUGGESTION from religious folks comes : GO TO CONFESSION! ABOUT WHAT? WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT A SPICY NOVEL? It’s make-believe after all and I don’t use it as an excuse to cheat. It helps me to emjoy my hubby more. So woop-de-doo!
Why not some theatrics? I want to know why pretend play in the sack or erotica are so bad if they enhance our marital lives. I’m beginning to believe we are repressed.
 
This exactly what I mean. First of all I DON’T live an abomination of a lifestyle. I am married in the church and my dh and I are faithful to each other. But after 14 years of marriage things become routine in that area and routine is boring to a degree. I am NOT seeking outside adventures, I want them at home with dh. But it appears that for us Catholics sex is just a necessity for procreation and unity, but the most holy and desirable is to live without and solely focus on the Divine. Isn’t marriage and so the marital act holy as well? So why not love the heck out of each other(spouses)?
Maria Rose, about what you say, please read what God has to say about it. You are heading towards the broad way, where many go…

www.saintbirgitta.com - book 1, chapter 26
www.saintbirgitta.com - book 1, chapter 9

Please read the chapters, they will help you, they will amaze you 🙂
 
Anytime I say antyhhing about sex , THE SUGGESTION from religious folks comes : GO TO CONFESSION! ABOUT WHAT? WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT A SPICY NOVEL? It’s make-believe after all and I don’t use it as an excuse to cheat. It helps me to emjoy my hubby more. So woop-de-doo!
It’s PORNOGRAPHY.
Why not some theatrics? I want to know why pretend play in the sack or erotica are so bad if they enhance our marital lives.
Define “erotica”. If you mean pornography, then yes it is wrong. And, if you don’t know why then the popular culture has blinded you. Perhaps reading in the Catechism and the Bible will help you.

We are called to chastity in all states of life. Read the Sixth Commandment in the Catechism.
I’m beginning to believe we are repressed.
This is a concept developed by secular libertines. It has no place in Catholic theology. It’s an absurd idea.
 
Where did you get that idea?

Yes, it is a holy act.

The marriage act is so holy that it cannot be profaned. HOW? BY WANTING MY DH MORE OFTEN; BY DESIRING DEEP INTIMACY? BY PLAY ACTING WITH EACH OTHER?

To use pornography, engage in disordered sex acts, engage in “voyeurism”, etc, is to **profane **a sacred act. It is the equivalent of spitting the Eucharist on the floor. I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT DISGUSTING SEX ACTS. I’M NOT GOING AROUND WATCHING PEOPLE, BUT MAYBE AN EROTIC MOVIE ON OCCASION. GOD CREATED THE SEXUAL DESIRE SO AS SPOUSES WE UTILIZE IT. THAT DOES NOT EQUAL SPITTING THE EUCHARIST ON THE FLOOR. RELAX!
BTW I AM CAPITALIZING JUST SO YOU FIND MY COMMENTS.
 
What does God say about sex in marriage out of lust?

One part of chapter 26, book 1 - www.saintbirgitta.com

God spoke:…However, people of this age join in wedlock for seven reasons. First, because of facial beauty; second, because of wealth; third, because of the coarse pleasure and indecent joy they get out of coition; fourth, because of festivities and uncontrolled gluttony; fifth, because it gives rise to pride in dressing and eating and entertainment and other vanities; sixth, in order to bring up their offspring not for God or good works but for wealth and honor; seventh, they join in wedlock on account of lust and the lustful appetite of beasts. These people meet outside the doors of my church with one mind and consent, but their feelings and inner thoughts are completely opposed to me. Instead of my will they prefer their own will, which aims at pleasing the world. If all their thoughts were directed toward me, and if they entrusted their will into my hands and took a spouse in godly fear, then I would give them my assent and would be the third companion with them. But now, although I should be at their head, they do not gain my consent because they have lust rather than my love in their hearts. They go up to my altar and hear there that they should be one heart and one mind, but my heart flees from them because they do not have the warmth of my heart and do not know the taste of my body.

They seek a warmth that will perish, and they seek flesh that will be eaten by worms. Accordingly, such people join in wedlock without the bond and union of God the Father and without the Son’s love and without the Holy Spirit’s consolation. When the couple comes to bed, my Spirit leaves them at once and the spirit of impurity approaches, because they only come together out of lust and do not discuss or think about anything else. But my mercy can still be with them, if they are converted. For I lovingly place a living soul created by my power into their seed. Sometimes I let bad parents give birth from time to time to good children. More often , bad children are born of bad parents, inasmuch as these children imitate the iniquity of their parents as far as they are able and would imitate it even more if my patience permitted them. **Such a couple will never get to see my face, unless they repent.

For there is no sin so grave that penitence does not wash it away.**

This was just a little part from the whole chapter, read the whole chapter please and wake up, please.

www.saintbirgitta.com - book 1, chapter 26, and chapter 9
 
The main thing you seem confused about is pornography.

You clearly don’t see anything wrong with it. Do some research. Read Church teaching on the matter.

It has so infected your thinking that you think it’s normal. Pornography is NOT normal. It is a mortal sin. It also seems that you lack the ability to discern what is actually pornograhic-- since so much of that has become “mainstream” in secular culture.

Spend some time praying about it.
 
And, maria rose, please note that the person posting the private revelations of St. Birgitta has already been banned twice from this forum. Private revelations are **NOT **church teaching.
 
Actually I personally have not engaged in voyeurism on the internet, but I have seen SEX AND THE CITY and read spicy novels.
One of you guys said all he needs is his wife “her whole person” Very noble indeed! But how about changing the packaging design(sexy outfits) or lusty Novels/poetry read together ? Is that bad as well?
No, it is not. But, you need to be careful that the object (sexy outfits, poetry - btw, Song of Songs aka Song of Solomon from the Bible is excellent) doesn’t become the focus and/or a requirement.
 
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