What Is So Bad About Sex?

[rlg94086]

I have been practically celibate for a year because of dh’"s health issues and it rots. It’s not about the # of people but the right and privilige to enjoy conjugal relations with your spouse in an exciting way.
I agree spiritual formation is crucial and growing in that way together, but why is sexuality so demonised? It’s incredible when we enjoy it with our beloved if fun and spontaneous. I’m just wondering how to make slotA into BG more exciting.
Having aq hard time expressing myself without getting to graphic.

Buy this book…my wife and I have found it very helpful: Holy Sex: A Catholic’s Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving

 

[signsoftimes]

Buy this book…my wife and I have found it very helpful: Holy Sex: A Catholic’s Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving

I would not recommend reading a book written by man that not know the will of God, read what God has to say about this, this you should follow.

You can read about chastity and why it must be kept to enter Heaven, (also in marriage, it is only allowed for procreation, if you want no children, then you must live in chastity),

www.saintbirgitta.com - book 1, chapter 26
www.saintbirgitta.com - book 1, chapter 9
www.saintbirgitta.com - book 1, chapter 13
www.saintbirgitta.com - book 1, chapter 16

 

[1ke]

Buy this book…my wife and I have found it very helpful: Holy Sex: A Catholic’s Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving

Excellent suggestion! Greg Popcak is awesome.

Christopher West’s books Theology of the Body for Beginners and The Good News About Sex And Marriage.

 

[bilop]

You can read about chastity and why it must be kept to enter Heaven, (also in marriage, it is only allowed for procreation, if you want no children, then you must live in chastity),

This is incorrect, and definitely NOT the Church’s teaching.

Marital relations must be both unitive and procreative (open to children), but they are certainly not ONLY for having children.

Even if a couple was unable to have children they are still expected to engage in the marital act. Likewise, couple may have sex during infertile periods (NFP).

God Bless

 

[rlg94086]

And, maria rose, please note that the person posting the private revelations of St. Birgitta has already been banned twice from this forum. Private revelations are **NOT **church teaching.

Ditto. Ignore the St Birgitta poster. St Birgitta’s revelations are an edifying read, but they won’t help you in your sex life.

Chastity does not mean “no sex unless you are procreating.” Popcak writes from a Theology of the Body (written by Pope John Paul II) perspective, and his recommendations are excellent.

 

[rlg94086]

Excellent suggestion! Greg Popcak is awesome.

Christopher West’s books Theology of the Body for Beginners and The Good News About Sex And Marriage.

My wife and I like Popcak’s book better from a style and substance standpoint. West’s books, however, are an excellent read on the Theology of the Body, and he did help us (directly…over the phone/email in his former job in Denver for the Archdiocese) stop using birth control and start using NFP.

 

[LJN21]

I might have to get the Holy Sex book now

Christopher West’s books are wonderful, I second the suggestion to read those.

 

[LilyM]

1ke;3909260:

Where did you get that idea?

Yes, it is a holy act.

The marriage act is so holy that it cannot be profaned. HOW? BY WANTING MY DH MORE OFTEN; BY DESIRING DEEP INTIMACY? BY PLAY ACTING WITH EACH OTHER?

To use pornography, engage in disordered sex acts, engage in “voyeurism”, etc, is to **profane **

a sacred act. It is the equivalent of spitting the Eucharist on the floor. I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT DISGUSTING SEX ACTS. I’M NOT GOING AROUND WATCHING PEOPLE, BUT MAYBE AN EROTIC MOVIE ON OCCASION. GOD CREATED THE SEXUAL DESIRE SO AS SPOUSES WE UTILIZE IT. THAT DOES NOT EQUAL SPITTING THE EUCHARIST ON THE FLOOR. RELAX!
BTW I AM CAPITALIZING JUST SO YOU FIND MY COMMENTS.

And what precisely do you mean by an ‘erotic’ movie? Seems to me the main purpose of anything ‘erotic’ is to arouse lust in the viewer. As opposed to, say, romantic which is more generally to arouse loving sentiments. In fact you yourself called the ‘poetry’ lusty, so we know that that is its purpose! And you know what Jesus said about a woman (or man) who has lust in their hearts. So throw that so-called poetry in the bin NOW, you’ve condemned it out of your own mouth.

It seems to me that viewing your husband or yourself as ‘slot a’ or ‘tab b’, as you were describing it earlier, is entirely degrading and objectifying and dehumanising for both of you. Let’s make clear, it is entirely possible to sinfully lust after dear hubby. And that can come about because of use of ‘erotica’ (whether that means someone play-acting at sex, writing in a titillating fashion about it, or indulging in the real deal in front of a camera)

 

[maria_rose]

slot a into tab b was just meant to illustrate the boredom of routine sexual relations. I never have nor ever will degrade my dh. Don’t think of as some lusty pervert. I quite frankly resent that as a Catholic. But I am a woman who likes to enjoy this part of my femininity and my husband’s masculinity. I love the book suggestion of “Holy Sex” I’ll look into that.

 

[maria_rose]

maria rose;3909290:

And what precisely do you mean by an ‘erotic’ movie? Seems to me the main purpose of anything ‘erotic’ is to arouse lust in the viewer. As opposed to, say, romantic which is more generally to arouse loving sentiments. In fact you yourself called the ‘poetry’ lusty, so we know that that is its purpose! And you know what Jesus said about a woman (or man) who has lust in their hearts. So throw that so-called poetry in the bin NOW, you’ve condemned it out of your own mouth. WHAT I MEAN IS A MOVIE WITH SOME STEAMY SCENES IN IT. I DON NOT BELIEVE THAT JUST HAVING LUSTY FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR HUBBY/WIFE IS SINFUL.THAT’S WHO THESE FEELINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DIRECTED TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. DUH!

It seems to me that viewing your husband or yourself as ‘slot a’ or ‘tab b’, as you were describing it earlier, is entirely degrading and objectifying and dehumanising for both of you. Let’s make clear, it is entirely possible to sinfully lust after dear hubby. And that can come about because of use of ‘erotica’ (whether that means someone play-acting at sex, writing in a titillating fashion about it, or indulging in the real deal in front of a camera)

AS LONG AS IT IS ONLY FOR THE PARTICULAR COUPLE TO ENJOY - WHY IS THAT SO OUTRAGEOUS?

 

[maria_rose]

The main thing you seem confused about is pornography.

You clearly don’t see anything wrong with it. Do some research. Read Church teaching on the matter.

It has so infected your thinking that you think it’s normal. Pornography is NOT normal. It is a mortal sin. It also seems that you lack the ability to discern what is actually pornograhic-- since so much of that has become “mainstream” in secular culture.

Spend some time praying about it.

It appears that any novel , movie or poem with the word sex or erotic language is pornography . Loosen up already.

 

[Newbie2]

Sex is never planned for us. It is spontaneous.

Blessings,
Marduk

No kids at home, eh?

But every time I say that sex is for procreation only, and should only be done within a marriage, for absolutely anything else is to be considered a sin of lust and adultery, and sex is only for married people period, many Catholics tell me I’m wrong. Now I’m really confused.

Sex is ordered both for procreation and for the “unitative” value of the spouses within a marriage. I think what you’re getting is a reaction to the mistaken viewpoint of some that sex is ***only ***for making babies and nothing else.

 

[LilyM]

AS LONG AS IT IS ONLY FOR THE PARTICULAR COUPLE TO ENJOY - WHY IS THAT SO OUTRAGEOUS?

YOU are the one who called the poetry ‘lusty’ in exactly so many words - thus the logical conclusion is that the poetry is sinful (the sin of lust) for you. What’s outrageous is that you’re so blind to your own admission of sin!

Secondly, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s because it’s entirely possible for sinful lust to enter even into relations between a married couple. The mere fact of you being married doesn’t make you immune to the sin of lust, either for your husband or anyone else.

And finally because you ARE involving others - the writers of your poetry, the actors/participants in your movies and so on. How can you say it’s ‘only for the particular couple’ when there are other third/fourth/fifth parties to your love life in this way?

 

[Edward62]

There is nothing inherently wrong with sex. It is perfectly natural and fulfills a highly important need within the human race… creating more humans.

It becomes a problem when people lose respect for themselves and for others, and use sex as an end (pleasure) rather than a mean (to create children).

 

[maria_rose]

Buy this book…my wife and I have found it very helpful: Holy Sex: A Catholic’s Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving

Just ordered it! Thanks and God bless!

 

[maria_rose]

YOU are the one who called the poetry ‘lusty’ in exactly so many words - thus the logical conclusion is that the poetry is a cause of sin (the sin of lust) for you. What’s outrageous is that you’re so blind to your own admission of sin!

Secondly, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s because it’s entirely possible for sinful lust to enter even into relations between a married couple. The mere fact of you being married doesn’t make you immune to the sin of lust, either for your husband or anyone else.

And finally because you ARE involving others - the writers of your poetry, the actors/participants in your movies and so on. How can you say it’s ‘only for the particular couple’ when there are other third/fourth/fifth parties to your love life in this way?

The actors in the movies are just that actors = nobody we know and not intereresting as people just as the characters they portray.
They are not at all involved with us.

The writers of the poems are either dead or far way. Duh- no interaction.
The only participants are dh and me. That’s it.
Okay clearly define for me - what is lust in your eyes? According to you I can’t even look at my dh and desrire him as it would be lustful - Please.

 

[LilyM]

The actors in the movies are just that actors = nobody we know and not intereresting as people just as the characters they portray.
They are not at all involved with us.

The writers of the poems are either dead or far way. Duh- no interaction.
The only participants are dh and me. That’s it.
Okay clearly define for me - what is lust in your eyes? According to you I can’t even look at my dh and desrire him as it would be lustful - Please.

Desire your husband? You desire lusty poetry and erotic movies, and the fact that you make love to your husband at all seems to happen mostly because those actors/fictional characters/poets who got you aroused (since obviously your husband himself couldn’t or didn’t do it for you), aren’t there to finish off the job that they (not he) started with you. THAT is lust, THAT is the poets and actors becoming additional parties to your marriage.

If your husband was a widower and often fantasised he was making love to his late wife while making love to you, insisted on you dressing up as she did, wearing her perfume or whatever, wouldn’t it be correct to say SHE was the additional party to your marriage even it she isn’t still alive?

 

[1ke]

It appears that any novel , movie or poem with the word sex or erotic language is pornography .

From the Catechism:

2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ,"134 the model for all chastity. All Christ’s faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.

2349 Married people are called to live conjugal chastity

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense.

2394 Christ is the model of chastity. Every baptized person is called to lead a chaste life, each according to his particular state of life.

2395 Chastity means the integration of sexuality within the person. It includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery.

2396 Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices.

Loosen up already.

As Catholics we are not called to conform to this world, of which ideas such as “loosen up” in relation to sexuality reflect, but rather are to conform ourselves to Christ.

So, would you tell Christ to “loosen up” in repsonse to his statement that those who lust have already committed adultery in their hearts?

ewtn.com/library/CURIA/PCSCVIOL.HTM

 

[1ke]

The actors in the movies are just that actors = nobody we know and not intereresting as people just as the characters they portray.
They are not at all involved with us.

But they are people and pornography violates their dignity as children of God as well as those viewing it.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. **It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. **

The writers of the poems are either dead or far way. Duh- no interaction.
The only participants are dh and me. That’s it.

They are eliciting erotic images and fantasy. It doesn’t matter whether the author is dead or alive, it is still wrong to read the materials.

Okay clearly define for me - what is lust in your eyes?

From the catechism:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

According to you I can’t even look at my dh and desrire him as it would be lustful - Please.

If you are using your husband as a means to an end, then yes you would be using him in a lustful manner.

 

[Starwynd]

Does Chasity end in heaven?

Do all these earthly rules that we are required to live by end when we are in heaven?