What Is So Bad About Sex?

[rlg94086]

Does Chasity end in heaven?

Do all these earthly rules that we are required to live by end when we are in heaven?

Chastity is not an “earthly rule.” It is the norm in heaven and not a rule there at all. What we are called to do as Catholics, as guided by the Catholic Church, is live heaven’s norms here on earth.

 

[LilyM]

Chastity is not an “earthly rule.” It is the norm in heaven and not a rule there at all. What we are called to do as Catholics, as guided by the Catholic Church, is live heaven’s norms here on earth.

Put it this way - anything we experience in the way of sexual enjoyment on earth pales into utter insignificance compared to the utter joy and bliss that awaits us in heaven. There won’t be sex in heaven, no, but no-one will miss it or feel deprived or be missing out on anything in the slightest.

 

[rlg94086]

Put it this way - anything we experience in the way of sexual enjoyment on earth pales into utter insignificance compared to the utter joy and bliss that awaits us in heaven. There won’t be sex in heaven, no, but no-one will miss it or feel deprived or be missing out on anything in the slightest.

:heaven:

 

[maria_rose]

Put it this way - anything we experience in the way of sexual enjoyment on earth pales into utter insignificance compared to the utter joy and bliss that awaits us in heaven. There won’t be sex in heaven, no, but no-one will miss it or feel deprived or be missing out on anything in the slightest.

Beautifully put. That I do believe. But while here on earth and having been given the feeling of pleasure through sexuality with our spouses why put it down as something terrible. On the one side it is holy , but God forbid if you actually enjoy it. Sounds bizzare to me!
Where is the fine line between enjoying and profaning?
I was once told that sex between spouses is a prayer to God. I love prayer and I love sex with DH which happens so rarely unfortunately. That’s why we need to excite A little to get the ball rolling as they say.

 

[1ke]

Does Chasity end in heaven?

Do all these earthly rules that we are required to live by end when we are in heaven?

Can you clarify a little?

In Heaven we will be united with God. Matthew 22:30: “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven”

 

[rlg94086]

Beautifully put. That I do believe. But while here on earth and having been given the feeling of pleasure through sexuality with our spouses why put it down as something terrible. On the one side it is holy , but God forbid if you actually enjoy it. Sounds bizzare to me!
Where is the fine line between enjoying and profaning?
I was once told that sex between spouses is a prayer to God. I love prayer and I love sex with DH which happens so rarely unfortunately. That’s why we need to excite A little to get the ball rolling as they say.

It should sound bizarre, because that is not what the Church teaches!
Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2362 "The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude."145 Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.146

 

[LilyM]

Beautifully put. That I do believe. But while here on earth and having been given the feeling of pleasure through sexuality with our spouses why put it down as something terrible. On the one side it is holy , but God forbid if you actually enjoy it. Sounds bizzare to me!
Where is the fine line between enjoying and profaning?
I was once told that sex between spouses is a prayer to God. I love prayer and I love sex with DH which happens so rarely unfortunately. That’s why we need to excite A little to get the ball rolling as they say.

And you can ‘excite’ all you want - as long as you do something that is just between the two of you and focuses on the two of you exclusively - instead of bringing in outside stimuli from third parties, which necessarily implies that the two of you really aren’t enough for each other.

There’s nothing wrong with lingerie, whipped cream, a nice slow massage - all incredibly enjoyable. There’s nothing wrong with even making your OWN private ‘movie’ or writing your own poetry celebrating your love for each other!

It’s when you bring outsiders into the bedroom - THEIR poetry, THEIR sex scenes in THEIR movies - that it becomes wrong. You can’t escape the underlying message in such situations that the two people in the room simply don’t feel like they have anything to offer themselves.

Look, I’ve been in sexual relationships and never had problems with just the two of us alone, ESPECIALLY after we had not had sex for a while! If movies and other erotica had entered the picture I could never again have felt sexy, never again felt that I was good enough. Not if my partner (or I, for that matter) needed outside help.

 

[Cari]

I love prayer and I love sex with DH which happens so rarely unfortunately. That’s why we need to excite A little to get the ball rolling as they say.

I’m slow, so please excuse me for it, but if making love to your husband happens “so rarely”, then why would you need any help getting “the ball rolling”?

That, maybe, is the question you should be asking, “why do we need help getting the ball rolling” rather than “why is it bad to use help”.

 

[LJN21]

I’m slow, so please excuse me for it, but if making love to your husband happens “so rarely”, then why would you need any help getting “the ball rolling”?

That, maybe, is the question you should be asking, “why do we need help getting the ball rolling” rather than “why is it bad to use help”.

Thats what I’ve been wondering the whole thread.

 

[thomfra]

So we watch ‘SEX AND THE CITY’, we read spicy novels, love to make love with our spouses and want more, enjoy a little voyeurism on the internet/tv.
Why are we so preoccupied with how bad that is for us?
Don’t get me wrong here! I am a devout Catholic and believe Sex should only be between spouses, but without a little fun, sex can get boring. Who wants to eat oatmeal every day? Why can’t we spice up our love life ?
Your views please. Thanks!

Great post! I was laughing the whole way through at the comments you got. Especially “spicing up the sex life is for perverts”…

Sex and the City…hmmm. my wife has all the dvds. So it looks like she’s going to hell for sure - I better go home and break the news to her.

I think getting out and about going to a bar together, a big party etc does wonders. You actually get to look at your significant other and think “I’m gonna go home with her/him tonight”…i.e. you see them the same way you saw them when you first met…if you know what I mean… instead of just seing them as someone ahead of you in the line for the shower/toilet/toaster/coffemaker etc etc.

 

[thomfra]

No kids at home, eh? .

ha! good call!

 

[thomfra]

Secondly, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s because it’s entirely possible for sinful lust to enter even into relations between a married couple. The mere fact of you being married doesn’t make you immune to the sin of lust, either for your husband or anyone else.

Oh no. Not *this *again… It is such a fine line between “sexual attraction”, loving desire and “lust” for your partner. I doubt anybody can really tell the difference.

…Mind you I am sure you all only every have “holy sex” that’s never boring…always a mind blowing “spiritual orgasms” never “inordinant pleasure- type orgasm”

I would hazard a guess that all of the same thoughts go through peoples minds when they are sexually attracted to somebody. Its just that some people call them “lust” others define them as “sexual attraction”. It’s just semantics.

 

[maria_rose]

Thanks for the quote from The Catechism Robert. It certainly clarified things quite a bit.

 

[maria_rose]

I’m slow, so please excuse me for it, but if making love to your husband happens “so rarely”, then why would you need any help getting “the ball rolling”?

That, maybe, is the question you should be asking, “why do we need help getting the ball rolling” rather than “why is it bad to use help”.

It’s not me so much that needs to rise to the occasion . My DH has some misgivings about having relations frequently and enjoying that aspect of married life more. Please send us some prayers.

 

[maria_rose]

Oh no. Not *this *again… It is such a fine line between “sexual attraction”, loving desire and “lust” for your partner. I doubt anybody can really tell the difference.

…Mind you I am sure you all only every have “holy sex” that’s never boring…always a mind blowing “spiritual orgasms” never “inordinant pleasure- type orgasm”

I would hazard a guess that all of the same thoughts go through peoples minds when they are sexually attracted to somebody. Its just that some people call them “lust” others define them as “sexual attraction”. It’s just semantics.

COULDN’T AGREE WITH YOU MORE!

 

[fix]

Oh no. Not *this *again… It is such a fine line between “sexual attraction”, loving desire and “lust” for your partner. I doubt anybody can really tell the difference.

…Mind you I am sure you all only every have “holy sex” that’s never boring…always a mind blowing “spiritual orgasms” never “inordinant pleasure- type orgasm”

I would hazard a guess that all of the same thoughts go through peoples minds when they are sexually attracted to somebody. Its just that some people call them “lust” others define them as “sexual attraction”. It’s just semantics.

It is only seen as semantics if we fail to understand the principles involved. The question I would ask is why we do not want to understand?

 

[thomfra]

“Spicing up” ones sex life is for lustful perverts.

Are you married by any chance Mister De?

 

[thomfra]

It is only seen as semantics if we fail to understand the principles involved. The question I would ask is why we do not want to understand?

Well I could ask: How do you know whether something you say you “don’t agree with” is actually something “you don’t understand”?

 

[Tonks40]

Oh no. Not *this *again… It is such a fine line between “sexual attraction”, loving desire and “lust” for your partner. I doubt anybody can really tell the difference.

…Mind you I am sure you all only every have “holy sex” that’s never boring…always a mind blowing “spiritual orgasms” never “inordinant pleasure- type orgasm”

I would hazard a guess that all of the same thoughts go through peoples minds when they are sexually attracted to somebody. Its just that some people call them “lust” others define them as “sexual attraction”. It’s just semantics.

Your assumption that no one can tell the difference between lust and loving desire is based on the invading sexual norms of our society. They are NOT based on what God’s intentions are.

As God’s people, we are no longer a part of this world, our society included. If you feel that there no longer can be purity in marriages, then you’ve never really understood marriage in it’s full context.

Sure - as sinners, we will fall into lust every once in a while. That does not make it ok in a marriage. We must continue to strive to keep our marriages holy, to come to purity in the sexual act, where selfishness clouds and skews what we aim to achieve in coming together. There’s no purity in lusting after anyone, your spouse included.

 

[thomfra]

Desire your husband? You desire lusty poetry and erotic movies, and the fact that you make love to your husband at all seems to happen mostly because those actors/fictional characters/poets who got you aroused (since obviously your husband himself couldn’t or didn’t do it for you), aren’t there to finish off the job that they (not he) started with you. THAT is lust, THAT is the poets and actors becoming additional parties to your marriage.

If your husband was a widower and often fantasised he was making love to his late wife while making love to you, insisted on you dressing up as she did, wearing her perfume or whatever, wouldn’t it be correct to say SHE was the additional party to your marriage even it she isn’t still alive?

LilyM. How *do *you come up with these scenarios?

So *your *sexual urges come like bolts of lightning do they??

You probably pick up all sorts of mental triggers throughout your day leading you to your lustful (opps sorry - “holy desire”) thoughts. You just don’t know it.

I would imagine that reading the book about holy sex which has been recommeded would also start a few thoughts running through her head. And…well, then this mythical “third party” you seem fixated on would be the priest who wrote it…oh…no…first class ticket to hell…