What is the best thing that could happen?

[strngrnrth]

A woman, let’s call her Annie, is a Christian who has had trouble getting her lifestyle straightened out due to an addiction, a basically irreligious upbringing and a socioeconomic problem. She has had a very hard life. She feels like she can’t be happy without a man in her life. She finally got married, but her husband was mentally ill and he tried to kill her. She turned to another man to protect her and before long the two of them were involved. The husband is still living and is wandering around.
She can’t afford an annulment. She can’t be alone for long and anyway she doesn’t feel safe alone. She has kids, who are old enough to know what’s going on.
So, if she shouldn’t get divorced and remarry, and she shouldn’t just live with her boyfriend, is it OK to wish the husband dead? If not (I’m guessing not), what can be done? Should her loved ones take up a collection for an annulment? For therapy for her, just in case her personality can change, and bodyguards for her? Should we jus tpray for her? In the meantime, should we maintain our relationships or would that communicate approval of her lifestyle problems? This refers to a situation from the past, but I want to know what would have been right.

 

[Newbie2]

First, are we to assume that the husband and the woman are Catholic Christians and had a sacramental marriage? Otherwise, an annulment is a moot point, she can just divorce and remarry.

Living with the boyfriend while she’s still married and wishing the husband dead, while perhaps understandable desires on her part under the circumstances, would be frowned upon by the Church.

“Just” praying, when the woman would benefit from counciling, and perhaps an annulment but can afford neither, and when one could financially help, would be IMHO an omission…but in this scenerio we have to ask why the boyfriend cannot help out? And if the woman can be helped out, what about helping out the husband? If he’s mentally ill, he’s the one who needs the most help in this scenario.

Maintaining a loving relationship doesn’t necessarily communicate approval for another’s (mis)deeds or errant lifestyle. One can be loved and supported without being enabled.

 

[LilyM]

A woman, let’s call her Annie, is a Christian who has had trouble getting her lifestyle straightened out due to an addiction, a basically irreligious upbringing and a socioeconomic problem. She has had a very hard life. She feels like she can’t be happy without a man in her life. She finally got married, but her husband was mentally ill and he tried to kill her. She turned to another man to protect her and before long the two of them were involved. The husband is still living and is wandering around.
She can’t afford an annulment. She can’t be alone for long and anyway she doesn’t feel safe alone. She has kids, who are old enough to know what’s going on.
So, if she shouldn’t get divorced and remarry, and she shouldn’t just live with her boyfriend, is it OK to wish the husband dead? If not (I’m guessing not), what can be done? Should her loved ones take up a collection for an annulment? For therapy for her, just in case her personality can change, and bodyguards for her? Should we jus tpray for her? In the meantime, should we maintain our relationships or would that communicate approval of her lifestyle problems? This refers to a situation from the past, but I want to know what would have been right.

What’s with the ‘can’t afford an annulment’ business? IIRC, any fees involved in an annulment are always waived in cases of genuine financial hardship, as all Catholics are entitled to have the validity of their marriage clarified whether they’re poor or not.

That being the case, there’s no reason for ‘Annie’ to live in sin with her boyfriend. However, therapy and counselling are certainly indicated for her and her husband, and these do usually cost. Friends and family certainly should do what they can reasonably do to help, which might include taking up a collection.