What is the best thing to do in this situation?

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I can’t believe I’m even saying this. Forgive me if I don’t make sense. I am practicing cath. and my husband is non cath christian. We were married in the cath church and received dispensation to marry a non cath. I still love my husband a lot and don’t wish to leave him. He is perfect for me in all things save that he is non cath. He really is a great guy. But after reading this site and growing in faith I realize that it would have been better to marry a catholic man. I realized this before marriage too, but when I met my husband I feel in love. Talked with the priest and he reassured me that it was ok to marry a protestant as long as I got dispensation. Now I am having doubts as to having done the right thing. Not in marrying my husband but in marrying a non cath. Is it wrong to stay with my husband if I realize it would have been better to marry a cath man? On the one had I feel guilty staying as I maybe hurt God in not having married a cath. On the other hand I feel like I would be hurting God in leaving as I know that from the day we married that marriage is forever and God doesn’t like divorce except for like abuse and things. There’s certainly not abuse, he’s so gentle and loving and sweet to me. We never have been able to have a baby maybe that’s God’s way of telling me this is wasn’t right? I don’t want to leave my husband, but I don’t want to hurt God either if I did wrong. What should I do? Please help me.
 
If you love him, married to him, why would you leave him? There is always hope that he may join you in the Faith. Never give up that hope/prayer. Not having children is not, I repeat, not a punishment from God for marrying a non-Catholic.

Yes, it can be hard, and perhaps heartbreaking at times to be married to a nonbeliever. I’m glad my dh didsn’t consider leaving me when he came back to Church, but I was still in my “anything but Catholic” mode, lol. Besides he is still the man you fell in love with, is he not? Do your best to be a good wife and pray for his conversion.

Unless there is abuse or adultery you are not disclosing, from what you wrote there is nothing to divorce over.
 
You said your husband is a good Christian man. What is wrong with that? You married him, you love him and he doesn’t mistreat you. You are both Christians, except you do not attend the same Church. Nothing wrong with that either. Be thankful that you are married to a good man and don’t let religious differences come between you. Just because a person is a baptized Catholic doesn’t mean he’s a good person. You have a gem, be thankful.
 
Look, there are a lot of people on this site who believe reflexively that all non-Catholics are evil, or deluded, or what have you. Some of them also believe that it’s a mistake to marry a non-Catholic, and some of those people are extremely vocal about it.

That doesn’t mean we all agree.

Marrying a non-Catholic means that there will be issues with respect to religion that otherwise would not be there. Fine; that simply means that one of your crosses is to deal with those issues as they arise. It doesn’t mean you should simply give up.

The Church has procedures for Catholics to marry non-Catholics; you apparently went through those procedures. If it were a sin for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic, the Church wouldn’t allow it. Since it does allow them, by definition such a marriage is not inherently sinful. You will simply have more issues to deal with, all other things being equal, than you would if your husband were Catholic. The fact that some people at CAF are constantly screaming that no Catholic should ever marry a non-Catholic (despite the fact that the Church routinely approves of mixed marriages) should not bother you. They’re entitled to their opinion, of course, but you are also entitled to yours. You have clearly made the decision that this man is the one for you, despite his non-Catholic status, and you should not let the opinions of posters on an internet website sway you.

But, in any event, none of that matters: you are married. You are required to honor that commitment, and the Church fully expects you to honor that Commitment. You made a vow to God that you would love this man forever; you are not hurting God by keeping your vow.

I seriously doubt that any faithful Catholic would advocate that you leave your husband; the very idea makes me cringe. If anyone were to urge you to leave him simply because he isn’t a Catholic, I would question that person’s understanding of the Catholic Sacrament of Matrimony. The Church actually believes all that “Marriage is forever” stuff, you know. And, contrary to the beliefs of some, it does not teach that mixed marriages are doomed. I think you will find that even the people here at CAF who most vocally shout “Never marry a non-Catholic” will agree that you should stay with your husband.
 
While I would never counsel someone to ignore the difficulties a mixed faith marriage brings, and knowing the issues that crop up on marriage when parents have kids and they don’t all have the same faith, your situation doesn’t sound like a problem to me.

If he is a good loving man, keep him! 👍 You have a valid Christian marriage.

You are blessed.

Practice your faith. Make him want what you have by the peace you find with it. Maybe someday he’ll join with you. Until then, be happy you have a good non-Catholic man who respects you. Want to trade a name-only Catholic who treats you like garbage?

Give God and the Holy Spirit a chance to work. Be happy. Be grateful for the love you have. Don’t compare what you have with what you think others have.
 
I agree with all that’s been written here. I’m married to a non-Catholic who was actually a Catholic. It is difficult because he now attends a protestant church. The good thing is that God is working in his life, and I have to remember that my goal should not be to be “right” about my church, but that he have a growing, loving relationship with God.

You can still do things together - Bible Study, retreats, etc. And those might be ways that you can grow in your faith as a couple.

Continue to learn about your faith so that you can answer his questions, if he has them. Continue to practice the faith so that you receive all the graces God has for you. That grace will carry you through.

Colleen
 
lookingup said:
I can’t believe I’m even saying this. Forgive me if I don’t make sense. I am practicing cath. and my husband is non cath christian. We were married in the cath church and received dispensation to marry a non cath. I still love my husband a lot and don’t wish to leave him. He is perfect for me in all things save that he is non cath. He really is a great guy. But after reading this site and growing in faith I realize that it would have been better to marry a catholic man. I realized this before marriage too, but when I met my husband I feel in love. Talked with the priest and he reassured me that it was ok to marry a protestant as long as I got dispensation. Now I am having doubts as to having done the right thing. Not in marrying my husband but in marrying a non cath. Is it wrong to stay with my husband if I realize it would have been better to marry a cath man? On the one had I feel guilty staying as I maybe hurt God in not having married a cath. On the other hand I feel like I would be hurting God in leaving as I know that from the day we married that marriage is forever and God doesn’t like divorce except for like abuse and things. There’s certainly not abuse, he’s so gentle and loving and sweet to me. We never have been able to have a baby maybe that’s God’s way of telling me this is wasn’t right? I don’t want to leave my husband, but I don’t want to hurt God either if I did wrong. What should I do? Please help me.
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I think you are reading too much into some of these posts. The bottom line is that you are married to man you love and you took an OATH before God in the Catholic Church to marry this man. Don’t look for faults because you 2 do not agree on everything as there are MANY Catholic couples who don’t agree on everything etiher in regards to their faith.

Pray for your husband and learn where we are a like rather than stressing our differences… there truly ARE many, much more than the differences. As a former Protestant I can promise you that!

The important thing is that your Husband loves Christ and wants to follow God’s will for your lives. Pray that He bring you guys together in regards to what you have in common, if he is a Christian then the first thing should be your love for Him.

Joe
 
lookingup said:
I can’t believe I’m even saying this. Forgive me if I don’t make sense. I am practicing cath. and my husband is non cath christian. We were married in the cath church and received dispensation to marry a non cath. I still love my husband a lot and don’t wish to leave him. He is perfect for me in all things save that he is non cath. He really is a great guy. But after reading this site and growing in faith I realize that it would have been better to marry a catholic man. I realized this before marriage too, but when I met my husband I feel in love. Talked with the priest and he reassured me that it was ok to marry a protestant as long as I got dispensation. Now I am having doubts as to having done the right thing. Not in marrying my husband but in marrying a non cath. Is it wrong to stay with my husband if I realize it would have been better to marry a cath man? On the one had I feel guilty staying as I maybe hurt God in not having married a cath. On the other hand I feel like I would be hurting God in leaving as I know that from the day we married that marriage is forever and God doesn’t like divorce except for like abuse and things. There’s certainly not abuse, he’s so gentle and loving and sweet to me. We never have been able to have a baby maybe that’s God’s way of telling me this is wasn’t right? I don’t want to leave my husband, but I don’t want to hurt God either if I did wrong. What should I do? Please help me.
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You love him and honor him all the days of you life. i married a non-Catholic-7 years later she converted. Leave you marriage and your Husbands religion in the hands of the Lord.
 
Some of the people on this site are wayyyy off base.

If you love him and he treats you great, then don’t leave him.
 
Continue to trust in God and pray for your husband’s conversion. Ultimately, trust that you are where God wants you to be, and pray that you will continue to do His will for you. Hand it over to Him.
 
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