What is the Christian way to deal with this girl?

[Rosarizing_rox]

There is this girl who I really do not like,because she alledged to be my friend but used me. She took advantage of my genorosity and persuaded me to buy her expensve presents.But she never gave me any presents,she didn’t spend any quality time with me,she completely ignored my birthday,she barely thanked me for what I did,she treated me with a cold attitude,she was nice to me when it suited her…and I could go on and on and on.Half the time,she acted as if I didnt exist.In the end I stood up for myself and confronted her,but she showed no sign of remorse.I ended the friendship.I am an amiable person and do not like having to end friendships.I feel wounded,because I used to really like her.This is not fair at all.I am trying to forgive her.I find it very hard to forgive sometimes. I dont wish her harm,but I want nothing to do with her.I still have to see her at school every day,and sometimes it is neccesary to speak to her.I have gotton over the worst of it,but it still hurts.What is the Christian way to deal with this?

 

[daughterofmary]

The Christian way to deal with this is to pray and love your friend, despite the hurt and feelings of betrayal. You do not have to “like” her or even spend any time with her, but you are called to love her. I have said a prayer for you and the person you are speaking of. I am so sorry this happened to you. Try to unite your sufferings of betrayal and pain with that of Our Lord during His Passion. God love you!

What has always helped me in dealing with these things is prayer and trying to see things from the other person’s side. I always think of this quote:

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It is difficult in times like these to think of the other person, but when we do I think it eases our pain because in a way we reach out to them with our love and prayers and no longer focus so much on how we were hurt. People are not unkind for no reason. Usually they are insecure, unhappy, depressed, hurt, and suffering. An important question to ask yourself (not her) is why she would have done this. They are numerous and I am sure with each one that comes to mind one can only be filled with more pity for her. Perhaps she has never had a true friend. Perhaps her parents treat her like this. Perhaps her “friends” have treated her like this in the past and she has learned to not grow attached to new friends and to try and take all she can from these people. It is all very sad. Pray for her and love her. Jesus wants your “friend” to come to Him. It doesn’t sound like she has. Perhaps you should pray for this special intention along with your daily prayers. The best way to do away with hurt and hatefulness is love. The best way to grow in forgiveness for another is to love them… soon only love fills your heart for them and there is no room for those rare and small unforgiving attitudes that arise when thinking of that person.

 

[puzzleannie]

There is this girl who I really do not like,because she alledged to be my friend but used me. .What is the Christian way to deal with this?

sounds like both of you need to work on the Christian virtue of friendship, to learn what real friendship is, and to learn about healthy relationships in general, as described by Christ in his moral teaching (the Sermon on the Mount), parables and examples.

 

[Mark_Robert]

Pray for her conversion. Pray for the grace to forgive her for offending you. Be polite and courtious to her but keep your distance. This is how you remain charitiable while protecting yourself from further abuse. Hope that helps

 

[blessedstar]

Keep out of her way. If you have to have contact with her sometimes keep it brief and amicable. You’ve done nothing wrong.

Try to think of your friend like this, you don’t know why she is like she is. Someone who is happy and at peace with themselves, with God and with others do not treat other people this way, so she has something afflicting her for her to behave this way. Maybe its a deep hurt she carries, maybe she is gravely insecure and under confident, maybe she is grossely immature, maybe she has been taught to be this way by her parents and/or carers, maybe she has deep pride issues. There will be something causing this person to behave this way either external or deeply internal.

You look on her with compassion as Jesus would do and pray for Jesus, the Divine Healer to heal her in mind, body and spirit. Ask Jesus to heal you of the hurt and to grant you perfect forgiveness of her and to increase the love in your heart for her and for all people no matter how they sin against you, others and against God.

Generosity is not a fault and God has seen and will bless you for your generosity to your friend. God will not be outdone in generosity either, so ask Him for a double measure of generosity for your friend.

Watch and wait and God will do all things.

Continue to be the good, kind and generous friend you are to all, you must not change your good heart, but remain close to Jesus doing all things for others for your Jesus and you will see Him do marvelous things.

I will say a little prayer for your situation and please say one for me that I will be a better person in Jesus

In the Living Prayer of my life.

 

[mommyof4]

You have received some excellent advice from others here, so I’m not going to give you any more. I will pray for your situation, though.

 

[4loveofJesus]

May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you all!

I remember during my birthday a friend of mine asked me what I wanted as a gift for my birthday. I told my friend, just go to confession and go to mass and receive Our Good Lord Jesus in holy communion because that is what Jesus desires, to possess us, to receive Him with that purity of soul. I really did not want anything for I have received the Perfect Gift, Our Good Lord Jesus in holy communion. And during last Christmas, my friends were trying to decide about the exchange gift, so I told them that this time, it is going to be different. We are not going to have one, but instead appreciate each others presence and friendship as the gift (aside of course from receiving Jesus Himself in holy communion). We also baked some brownies and visited the sick. We gave it to a former patient of mine whom we visited in his home. I tell you that was more meaningful, moving, and an experience I will always treasure that will endure through all eternity than opening a gift that will last only for a while, of whom we may forget or lose interest after some time.

We have to remember that when we give, we give out of pure love, for the love of God and not because we are expecting something in return. If we do that, we won’t get hurt at all because we do it for the love of God. So whether they thank you or not, whether they remember you or not, whether they reciprocate it or not, it really doesn’t matter. What matters the most is that it is God Who is moving you out of His great love and generosity to share the gifts that He has entrusted you to share with others. Remember, we are only God’s stewards. We don’t really own anything, for anything and everything belongs to Him. The things that we have, our time, money and talent, He entrusts to us. He can take it away at anytime, He also bestows us more depending on His most Holy Will. It is a matter of how well we handle the gifts that God has given to us, for His greater love, honor and glory.

Now about giving, we always have to pray to find out what is His will about what to give to a person or giving a person what they are asking for. An example that I can give is a friend of mine asking me for a specific item as a gift. I told my friend that I do not know and will have to pray about it. So my friend was not happy about it and told me I was being selfish. Well, my feelings surely didn’t get hurt for I really didn’t care about what he wanted but what God wanted, what is His most holy will, for what is mine is not for me to give for I don’t own it. It is up to God, if He wills it. So, after praying about it for some time, it didn’t sit well in my heart, I knew it just wasn’t God’s will. So, I told my friend I could not give him what he was asking for. He was not happy, nothing I could do about it but I was at peace knowing that I have followed God’s most holy Will despite human pressure and rejection.

God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!

 

[mommyof4]

Beautiful post, 4loveofJesus.

 

[littleone]

There is this girl who I really do not like,because she alledged to be my friend but used me. She took advantage of my genorosity and persuaded me to buy her expensve presents.

You know that Jesus gives us the gifts of help,sharing and others. But He also tells us that we are to bless those who open their door to us. Also, to wipe the dust from the shoes when we are treated the way you have because the world is full of people like this.
You seem to feel betrayed because of her actions but remember that she only opened the door you walked in.

It was when you walked in that would allowed this to happen. You seem to feel hurt because of your trust, well this seems to have disempowered you and you have to take the power back. The only way to do this is to forgive her, and then tell God " Father forgive her for she knows not what she does". But you must take back the power by forgiving her.
Jesus then tells us that it is done, sin is then taken away as fare as the east is from the west. And then you will not feel the pain. OK! it is not a case of she or you doing wrong, it becomes a win win situation when Jesus is put as the center, not our pain.
This is our Christian duty to forgive, then you can walk away from the past.

God bless
littleone