What is the church's opinion on dating an atheist or agnostic?

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And listen, if you think it’s so bad, then why don’t you start working on getting the Church to no longer allow mixed marriages. In the mean time, the Church does allow it, so I would say to those who are dating… if you cannot find a Catholic, by all means marry a Protestant! (As long as You find the right person for you.) Just pray about it.
 
I met my husband on CatholicMatch.com. I was 29 and he was 31. I did date agnostic and men of other denominations, but I wouldn’t say they went to Church very often. I would definitely recommend a Catholic dating website over secular ones. Even Christians of different denominations don’t understand why a person would choose to adhere to beliefs regarding sexual morality for instance because they believe “once saved, always saved”. And they might not ever want to be Catholic, nor would it be right to try to coerce them to become one if they do not really believe in Catholic doctrine. Raising children with someone who values different things than you could be very difficult. Just some things to consider. Yes dating SOME Catholic men can be difficult because some are not even sure they want to get married. Some Catholic men after a certain age seem to be content with the Bachelor lifestyle.
 
Missionary dating sounds so dirty. These are my concerns. Then there are other reasons I may not marry a Catholic man. How do they feel about interracial dating? There aren’t many black Catholics in the USA? You can say all you want that people have changed in this era. Statistically black women are the least desirable dating option. White and Asian women, especially Asian women are considered the most overall desirable among men of all races.
I look “authentically” black. I am not honey colored like Beyonce or Tyra Banks. I’m a dark skinned African black woman.
 
Jump4Joy said:
Missionary dating sounds so dirty. These are my concerns. Then there are other reasons I may not marry a Catholic man. How do they feel about interracial dating? There aren’t many black Catholics in the USA? You can say all you want that people have changed in this era. Statistically black women are the least desirable dating option. White and Asian women, especially Asian women are considered the most overall desirable among men of all races.
I look “authentically” black. I am not honey colored like Beyonce or Tyra Banks. I’m a dark skinned African black woman.
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Online dating may help with that.

I think the number of black Catholics depends on your area. I live in New England. Chances of me meeting a person other than a white person were rare. I look medetrainan and was raised by Native Americans…ie I really don’t identify with “white” as my race. However, down in Arizona, there are many Hispanics ( both light and dark skinned) and in the southeast in Atlanta, when I went to a Catholic church with my mid-toned skin I was in the minority by far.

There have been studies that show that black women are at a disadvantage when it comes to online dating, however, much of this relates to how they choose to present themselves. Many genuine things of being black (or ethnic) are frowned upon. Frizzy hair, makeup, excessive jewelry, etc. Some people feel removing those things means they have to “be white”. I’m torn about that. I can’t change my hair but it doesn’t really harm me to tie it into a more “western acceptable” style.

But you’re basically freaking yourself out. You don’t need to attract all guys, you need ONE guy. If the guy on Ave who was a quadraplegic can find someone, I hardly think you are in a worse off place than him.
 
The Church does teach us that mixed marriages face difficulties. If you did not experience those differences, that is great! I know people who have smoked a pack a day for 50 years and have not had any health problems. There are always exceptions and it is good that you had one of them.

At the same time, these forums are full of posts where someone married a non-Catholic thinking that love would conquer all of the differences only to find that the spouse refuses to baptize the children, refuses to allow any Catholic symbols in the home, where marriages crumble because of the disunity of faith.

I’d suggest the entire chapter on marriage, particularly the area titled “Mixed marriages and disparity of cult”.

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c3a7.htm

One paragraph:

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.
 
Missionary dating is not a thing… I don’t think anyone does that, or advocates it.
 
I like afros and braids. I’m not going to fry my hair straightening often. I guess you’re right. There are plenty of men who don’t care about race or like black women. It can feel like they aren’t many compared to how often white or Asian women are regularly hit on. Most interracial couples involving a black person, most of the time the husband is black and the wife is non-black spouse.
I could write an entire blog on colorism in the black community and how it effects people. In general, black women aren’t the most desirable race.
I think I can find someone.
 
Jump4Joy said:
I like afros and braids. I’m not going to fry my hair straightening often. I guess you’re right. There are plenty of men who don’t care about race or like black women. It can feel like they aren’t many compared to how often white or Asian women are regularly hit on. Most interracial couples involving a black person, most of the time the husband is black and the wife is non-black spouse.
I could write an entire blog on colorism in the black community and how it effects people. In general, black women aren’t the most desirable race.
I think I can find someone.
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I think braids are nice…I do think that big fros and close crops tend to be “out.”

Why not look among Hispanics? I’ve noticed that very dark-skinned Hispanics ie black (like those from the Dominican Republic) and from Africa blacks (Not African-American) seem to have a significantly less number of hangups regarding skin tone and culture than native-born African American blacks.
 
I should. Dominican culture still has issues with skin color and hair texture. I do like those cuban, Dominican, Puerto Rican, Colombian and Brazilian men.
 
@Jump4Joy

Remember your soul is much more important,born a “Catholic dies a Catholic”,even your future children souls will be at stake,don’t worry to much ,marring a wrong person in hast would be disaster. pray to ST Joseph and Mother Mary to she will make thing quicker as she did a the wedding at cana,though it was not the appointed time for Jesus ,He did the first miracle like wise wait patiently Jesus will send some one ,after all it is said “Marriages are made in Heaven”

James 5:7 Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. 8 You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near.19 My brothers and sisters,if anyone among you wanders from the truth and is brought back by another, 20 you should know that whoever brings back a sinner from wandering will save the sinner’s soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise the words of prophets, 21 but test everything; hold fast to what is good; 22 abstain from every form of evil.23 May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this.

Everything Has Its Time as in Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: God Bless Keep the Faith
 
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It is human to worry especially if you are reminded of your declining fertility or feel pressured by family members. If only we could focus solely on the Lord
 
I don’t underestimate the difficulty that could arise. I never said a mixed marriage would be easy. I never said Catholics shouldn’t even try to date other Catholics. I never said Catholics should exclusively date non Catholics.

The point is, you should not count someone out just because they are not catholic. Obviously, you need to use your judgment to determine if this person is worth dating. Not all Protestant groups and beliefs are the same, some would be easier to have in a mixed marriage than others. It depends on your relationship, your faith, your communication, and your respect for each other. It all needs to be discussed up front. But if Catholics find a good non catholic person to marry, than they should do so.

I also think you may be underestimating the dating scene right now. I’m in my twenties and I consider most of my friends “post Christian.” They may still identify as Christians, some don’t, but none of them go to Church anymore. (Catholic or Protestant.)

For my Christian friends, it’s hard to find someone to date who even believes the basic moral teachings of Christianity, like marriage. I’m sure finding someone who is specifically Catholic is even more difficult. When I go to church functions at my parish, I’m the youngest by at least 30 years every time. I’m not saying don’t try to marry a catholic, but it’s not as easy now days as you think. There is nothing wrong with marrying a non catholic Christian, it should not be looked down upon.
 
@Jump4Joy

i do understand as humans we keep worrying ,but what i mean here is to have faith, Jesus will show some a way, your worry, should not go to despair and make wrong decisions, will your family take responsibility for it ,no by no means, whatever decisions you take ,it will be for you to bear,God Bless
 
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Well, I’m married to a non believer- baptized, but far away from christianity since after puberty. Interested, yes, but no conversion plannable. It works fine, but I maybe found the rare example. He agreed to baptize our future kids in my church, spends his really tight income to get me to church via train and is fully on board with nfp. He is not an atheist, and sometimes I think he lives more christian love than me. He made me a better christian.
I would never encourage this or the opposite, I just say it is not the average Mixed religious marriage, so be careful. And, never marry out of desperation. Never.
 
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My best friend since childhood is a black woman. She is stunningly gorgeous and always had her pick of guys 🙂 Even now that we are both well into middle age and are both on the plumper side of life, she turns heads when she walks into a room.

Sadly, I also saw the other side of things. When good Christian families freaked the heck out when their white sons starting dating a black girl. I still cry when I remember some of those events.

Anyway, I understand a tiny bit more than some other folks might. (especially in the USA today where bigotry is almost celebrated) . Recently I was in the cosmetics aisle of a store.

A group of 3 young ladies were in the aisle, around 12 or 13 years old, doing the “teens hanging out at the mall” sort of thing. They were all of color, two were honey colored, the other had darker skin. This girl pointed at one of the advertising posters and said “Ewwww, she is so BLACK” and her friends joined in.

My jaw dropped, that was a poster of a model, a stunning woman. Our world has made these little girls see dark skin as ugly!

Some words about beauty fell out of my face, they ended up helping me finish my shopping so I guess they at least thought I was not a crazy old woman.

Anyway, you are confronting more barriers.

There are some groups that might be of interest, maybe there is a chapter of KofPC hear you? https://www.kofpc.org/

http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-act...es/links-to-national-black-catholic-sites.cfm
 
I’m happy someone understands there are more barriers for black women who want to date interracial. I personally am open to any race.
 
The Church doesn’t have an offiicial position on this. The advice that I give on here about Catholics dating non-Catholics is it comes down to personality types:

Either you are going to influence the person you are dating more or they are going to start getting you away from your Catholic Faith.

People need to figure out where they lay on this. You have folks like my old religion teacher who married a Lutheran woman and converted her. Then you have people like me that no one really listens to until its too late.

But I can’t advise anyone to date someone who is going to detract them from their Catholic Faith.
 
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