What is the difference between being attracted to someone vs. finding someone attractive?

[Sarah_Blanchard]

I have a friend whose husband has recently admited that he finds a female co-worker attractive, when asked if he simply finds her attractive or if he is attracted to her, he didn’t know how to answer. My friend clairified saying, "being attracted to someone means that you feel nervous when you are around them and you get an adrehnalin rush when you see or think about them. To that, he answered, “yes, then I guess I am attracted to her.” Now that my friend is having difficulty processing this news, he is trying deny that he is attracted to her, saying that he “finds her attractive,” maintaining that yes he does feel nervous around her and an adrehnalin rush when he sees her. I am having a bit of trouble helping my friend to sort out the difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone. Her definition of how an attraction to someone feels different than merely finding someone attractive makes sense to me. Can you please help me to clairify this issue?

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear friend,

Finding someone attractive is simply that. One can find many people attractive at the same time. But being attracted to someone is more of an exclusive dynamic where one dwells on the thought of the person. Having the feelings you describe would more likely be present in being attracted.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.