What is the difference between Catholic selflessness & conditioned selflessness?

[Sereta]

In some societies,women are socially conditioned that they should put their families first and themselves last.
This often leads to stress,“burnout”,resentment,feeling guilt for doing things for themselves etc.
This social conditioning seems bad because you shouldn’t put yourself last,you should look after yourself first so that way you can look after others better.
That seems more healthy.

I’m conflicted though because Catholic religion/other Christians seem to say that you should put others needs before your own?

Can anyone help me to understand this clearer please?
Thankyou

 

[Viki63]

Jesus said to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
He’s assuming we have healthy self-love. You’re right, we have to care for ourselves so that we can care for others.
I think women have a maternal instinct to care for others, and it’s a good thing. It’s also true that some women neglect themselves, act like martyrs, and devote themselves to their husband and children while feeling sorry for themselves.
However in the current climate, I don’t see that as much as women putting themselves first and leaving their families behind. Abandoning their children to go out and find themselves, pursue their career, or find “true love.”
Neither extreme is healthy. As Christians we are to meet our obligations in the state in which we find ourselves; if it’s marriage and children, we are to care for our family while not neglecting our own needs for sleep, exercise, friendship and so on. Sometimes we must put our needs aside temporarily during an emergency, but if that goes on too long we should ask the church or friends for help. I’m thinking of women who are caring for a relative with a serious health condition, like Alzheimer’s, who never get a break and never think of asking for help.
Hope that gives you some suggestions.

 

[St_Francis]

The other thing is that in a Catholic family, the husband should be watching out for his wife. It seems that in the other situations you describe, the husband is not mandated to look after his wife.