What is the line between lust and simply looking?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Anthony_V
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Anthony_V

Guest
I’ve heard many different responses.
My priest told me that as long as the nature
is not pornographic, then you can feel free to admire. However, make due to thank God for the beauty of his creation. He told me that you can know when things are going too far when you start getting aroused. I can understand this as not disordered, because it has a definite boundary, and does not cease to give God what praise he deserves.

I’ve also heard stricter responses where purposely looking is a mortal sin.
I’ve also heard that lack of chastisement of the eyes is an imperfection, which does not sit will with what my priest told me. Any thoughts?
 
That is a tough question. I guess you can admire the beauty but just don’t start imagining things that you shouldn’t be doing. It is completely normal to be attracted to the opposite sex, but you have to control your thoughts just as you would control your actions.
 
Anthony_V said:
I’ve heard many different responses.
My priest told me that as long as the nature
is not pornographic, then you can feel free to admire. However, make due to thank God for the beauty of his creation. He told me that you can know when things are going too far when you start getting aroused. I can understand this as not disordered, because it has a definite boundary, and does not cease to give God what praise he deserves.

I’ve also heard stricter responses where purposely looking is a mortal sin.
I’ve also heard that lack of chastisement of the eyes is an imperfection, which does not sit will with what my priest told me. Any thoughts?
Click to expand...
Derrida, the American philosopher, said that sometimes with distinctions, the problem is the distinction.

When you sleep with a different woman every night, that is definitely grave matter on sex rules. If you are praying attentively to Our Lady, there is no problem at all. But when you are in the borderline, then the problem arises: are you French or German if you were born right in the middle of the frontier between the 2 countries?

So, your question.
The answer that the priest gave to you is good for himself. But how is it possible not to get aroused by any girl anytime? And think that every time you get aroused is a mortal sin? And that you may get aroused only after you are married and only with your wife? Is it possible or a mirage?

My opinion: God created sex so that life on Earth would not perish. Besides, God gave the living creatures the ability to participated in His work of creation, through sex. Sex is imperative. Sex is stronger than us, than our animal instinct of preservation. Some animals die because of sex, like the salmons, some kinds of rodents and some animals give their lives for the offspring. So God wanted life.

So strong is sex instinct that sometimes things go wrong like pornography, pedophilia, and so on.

From my observation, unbalanced people are people sexual unbalanced. Does a prostitute who was raised as such since she was a teenager is committing I cannot mortal sin after mortal sin? I cannot believe that.

So, that distinction for me makes no sense. For several reasons i elaborated in other answers and I fell I should not repeat.

I think
 
I’d say, if you get whiplash ogling someone attractive, that’s probably lust!😃
 
Also, while I understand admiring God’s creation of physical beauty (which has changed over the ages, according to societal whims), other aspects of God’s creations - kindness, sense of humour, patience, common sense, etc. are also worthy of admiration. I might be derailing your thread a little bit, but I think attractiveness is way more complicated than simple beauty which naturally fades with age. I think it’s a wise person who admires physical beauty and looks for more.

And, I don’t think simply noticing and admiring is a sin. As long as you in you keep in your mind the dignity of the human person.

In peace,
 
You really have to know yourself and your proclivities. One man looks, but another man leers.
ibo said:
Derrida, the American philosopher
Click to expand...
Excellent post. One small note, Derrida was French. He has been very popular in American universities, especially in the humanites, though his influence is waning.
 
grasscutter said:
Also, while I understand admiring God’s creation of physical beauty (which has changed over the ages, according to societal whims), other aspects of God’s creations - kindness, sense of humour, patience, common sense, etc. are also worthy of admiration. I might be derailing your thread a little bit, but I think attractiveness is way more complicated than simple beauty which naturally fades with age. I think it’s a wise person who admires physical beauty and looks for more.

And, I don’t think simply noticing and admiring is a sin. As long as you in you keep in your mind the dignity of the human person.

In peace,
Click to expand...
That is always a priority of mine. Every time I see a pretty girl I know, I thank God for the gift of her, and ask him to bring her closer to himself.
For me personally, I don’t find girls pretty or attractive until I get to know them. Like you said, it’s because of the their personality and familiarity.
 
I_Thirst said:
You really have to know yourself and your proclivities. One man looks, but another man leers.
Click to expand...
Exactly. Your conscious should know the difference if you leer or just look at a good looking girl.
 
Anthony_V said:
That is always a priority of mine. Every time I see a pretty girl I know, I thank God for the gift of her, and ask him to bring her closer to himself.
For me personally, I don’t find girls pretty or attractive until I get to know them. Like you said, it’s because of the their personality and familiarity.
Click to expand...
Cool beans! 👍 You sound like the type of young man that mothers would like their daughters to know!
 
Anthony_V said:
That is always a priority of mine. Every time I see a pretty girl I know, I thank God for the gift of her, and ask him to bring her closer to himself.
Click to expand...
It’s funny you should say that, I have the exact same prayer with one slight difference: I say “myself” instead of “himself”🙂 Seriously, and some poster alluded to it, you have to know yourself, yes the concept of individuality. If an innocent look at a pretty girl doesn’t arouse concupiscence or mental sexual imagery. I have to ask though, sexual attraction was meant as a good thing from the Creator, how can it manifest itself without it being a sin?
 
I think it’s ok to look at and admire a pretty girl - for a while, maybe 5 seconds tops. Then you start looking away and turn your thoughts onto something else. Beyond that, you’re asking for trouble. Besides it is not polite to stare.

“Lead us not into temptation”.
 
From a Casting Crowns song:

“Be careful, little eyes, what you see,
It’s the second glance that binds you, and darkness pulls the strings”
 
I think the priest advised you well, admiring/appreciating nice trim is not lustful.

After be duped into marrying Leah Jacob labored an additional 7 years for Rachel and I bet it wasn’t because of a wart on her nose.
 
I_Thirst said:
You really have to know yourself and your proclivities. One man looks, but another man leers.
Excellent post. One small note, Derrida was French. He has been very popular in American universities, especially in the humanites, though his influence is waning.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the correction.
Of course, he should be popular in America where everything is black and white.
But the paradox is that Derrida needs divisions to have a Derrida.
So, as you said, there is so much that you can have Derrida-ism.
Did not know his influence was waning …👍
 
I_Thirst said:
You really have to know yourself and your proclivities. One man looks, but another man leers.
Excellent post. One small note, Derrida was French. He has been very popular in American universities, especially in the humanites, though his influence is waning.
Click to expand...
worse: we used to say crisis of identity, when in college, of a person born of a USA man and a Swedish woman in a ship with a Panama Flag navigating in Greece territorial waters… University foolness.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top