What is the proper way to conduct a Devotional or frequent Confession?

[GratefulDad]

What is the proper way to conduct a Devotional or frequent Confession? Especially if you go to the same Priest. Trying to do a First Friday Devotional and go to Confession, once a month. I do not have any Mortal Sins And the shortcomings I do have month to month seem to be in the same categories.

How do you have a proper frequent confession, especially if you go to the same Priest?

 

[EasterJoy]

It is pretty much the norm that a person will fall to similar temptations from one month to the next. Generally speaking, it is a good idea to examine your conscience every night, so that you have a better chance of recognizing the real patterns of sin in your life when you look back on any given month, rather than the assuming that you know what your patterns are.

It is not in any way “improper” to confess similar sins every time, if you have in fact committed similar sins again. Keep in mind that your confessor probably runs into the same problem himself. He goes to confession, too. He struggles with the same sins over and over, too. There are certain “weeds” of character with roots that are difficult to find, let alone eradicate. He’s going to understand that. He probably has to bear the same trial himself.

On the finding of the roots, though, the help of a spiritual director may be in order, once the conversation needs to become more in-depth than what would be tackled solely in the confessional. In other words, sometimes the roots just need additional effort to come out, but sometimes what is needed is more in-depth questioning and advice than a confessor would typically have time for. Besides, a spiritual director is of help in navigating how to better pursue virtue and discern God’s will, something that is also beyond the purview of confession alone.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

A helpful book is Frequent Confession: Its Place in the Spiritual Life by Benedict Baur. amazon.com/Frequent-Confession-Place-Spiritual-Life/dp/1889334162/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1223086072&sr=1-1

 

[bpbasilphx]

I’m not too sure what you mean by “conducting a First Friday Devotional.”

Do you mean for a group, or your family?

Or yourself?

If this last, I’m sure there is no “right” way.

 

[Sir_Knight]

I’m not too sure what you mean by “conducting a First Friday Devotional.”

Do you mean for a group, or your family?

Or yourself?

If this last, I’m sure there is no “right” way.

Certain “promises” have been given to those that go to confession on the first Friday of each month. I believe that this is what he is talking about and I also assume that he sometimes feels that he may not always have any mortal sins to confess within a 30 day time period.

 

[Sir_Knight]

What is the proper way to conduct a Devotional or frequent Confession? Especially if you go to the same Priest. Trying to do a First Friday Devotional and go to Confession, once a month. I do not have any Mortal Sins And the shortcomings I do have month to month seem to be in the same categories.

How do you have a proper frequent confession, especially if you go to the same Priest?

This is what our church has hanging up outside of the confessional (sorry for the long quote but I didn’t know how to link it and I thought that it would be helpful) …

FIRST COMMANDMENT: “I am the Lord your God. You shall not have strange gods before Me.” (Ex 20:2,3)

* Did I doubt or deny that God exists?
* Did I refuse to believe what God as revealed to us?
* Did I believe in fortune telling, horoscopes, dreams, the occult, good-luck charms, tarot cards, palmistry, Ouija boards, seances, reincarnation?
* Did I deny that I was Catholic?
* Did I leave the Catholic Faith?
* Did I entertain doubts about my Catholic faith?
* Did I read books or watch shows/movies against my Catholic faith?
* Am I superstitious?
* Do I believe in fortune-telling, astrology, palm-reading, witchcraft?
* Did I give time to God each day in prayer?
* Did I love God with my whole heart?
* Did I despair of or presume on God's mercy?
* Did I have false gods in my life that I gave greater attention to than God, like money, profession, drugs, TV, fame, pleasure, property, etc.?
* Do I seek to surrender myself to God's word as taught by the Church?
* Have I ever received communion in the state of mortal sin?
* Have I ever deliberately told a lie in Confession or have I withheld a mortal sin from the priest in Confession?

SECOND COMMANDMENT: “You shall not take the Name of the Lord your God in vain.” (Ex 20:7)

* Did I blaspheme or insult God?
* Did I take God's name carelessly or uselessly?
* Did I curse, or break an oath or vow?
* Did I get angry with God?
* Did I keep the promises I made to God?
* Did I speak disrespectfully of Jesus, Mary and the other Saints?
* Have I wished evil upon any other person?
* Have I insulted a sacred person or abused a sacred object?

“Whoever eats the bread and drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily sins against the Body and Blood of the Lord. … He who eats and drinks without recognizing the Body eats and drinks judgment on himself.” - 1 Cor 11:27-29

To receive Holy Communion while in the state of mortal sin (having committed a mortal sin which has not been confessed and forgiven in the Sacrament of Confession) is itself a grave sin - a sin of sacrilege.

THIRD COMMANDMENT: “Remember that you keep holy the Sabbath Day.” (Ex 20:8)

* Did I miss Mass Sunday or a Holy Day of Obligation through my own fault?
* Did I come to Mass on time? Leave early?
* Did I do work on Sunday that was not necessary?
* Did I set aside Sunday as a day of rest and a family day?
* Did I show reverence in the presence of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament?
* Did I participate devoutly and punctually in the Mass?
* Did I pray regularly every day, at least in the morning and the evening?

FOURTH COMMANDMENT: “Honor your father and your mother.” (Ex 20:12)

* Did I disobey or disrespect my parents or legitimate superiors?
* Did I neglect my duties to my husband, wife, children or parents?
* Did I neglect to give good religious example to my family?
* Did I fail to actively take an interest in the religious education and formation of my children?
* Did I fail to educate myself on the true teachings of the Church?
* Did I give scandal by what I said or did, especially to the young?
* Did I cause anyone to leave the faith?
* Did I cause tension and fights in my family?
* Did I care for my aged and infirm relatives?
* Did I give a full day's work for a full day's pay?
* Did I give a fair wage to my employees?
* Specifically For Children:
        -- Did I fail to show love to my parents and other relatives?
                  -- Was I disrespectful or disobedient to them?
                  -- Did I help them when I could?
                  -- Did I disappoint them? How?
                  -- Did I respect my teachers, my parish priest and other persons in authority?
                  -- Did I respect the rules of my school?
* Specifically For Parents:
                  -- Did I raise my children with selfness love and real concern?
                  -- Was I too hard or too lenient with them?
                  -- Did I give them bad example in the way I spoke or acted?
                  -- Did I fail to lead them with my good example?
                  -- Did I see to it that my children get the proper religious instruction?

*** Continued in NEXT Post ***

 

[Sir_Knight]

*** Continued from PREVIOUS Post ***

FIFTH COMMANDMENT: “You shall not kill.” (Ex 20:13)

* Did I kill or physically injure anyone?
* Did I have an abortion, or advise someone else to have an abortion?
* (One who procures and abortion is automatically excommunicated, as is anyone who is involved in an abortion, Canon 1398. The excommunication can be lifted in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.) Did I use or cause my spouse to use birth control pills (whether or not realizing that birth control pills do abort the fetus if and when conceived)?
* Did I attempt suicide?
* Did I take part in or approve of "mercy killing" (euthanasia)?
* Did I get angry, impatient, envious, unkind, proud, revengeful, jealous, hateful toward another, lazy?
* Did I give bad example by drug abuse, drinking alcohol to excess, fighting, quarreling?
* Did I abuse my children?
* Did I smoke, drink immoderately, use harmful drugs, or do anything that harms my health or the health or others?
* Did I take care of my physical and mental health?
* Did I hurt anybody with my words or actions?
* Did I refuse to help people in need when I had the opportunity and the means to do so?
* Did I keep grudges?
* Did I apologize promptly and sincerely?
* Was I respectful of other people’s opinions and beliefs?
* Did I enroll in any violent organization?
* Did I contribute to the pollution of the environment?
* Did I give scandal to anyone, thereby leading him or her into sin?
* Have I mutilated myself through any form of sterilization?
* Have I encouraged or condoned sterilization?
* Have I engaged, in any way, in sins against human life such as artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization?

SIXTH & NINTH COMMANDMENTS: “You shall not commit adultery.” (Ex 20:14) and “You shall not desire your neighbor’s wife.” (Ex 20:17)

* Did I willfully entertain impure thoughts or desires?
* Did I use impure or suggestive words? Tell impure stories? Listen to them?
* Did I deliberately look at impure TV, videos, plays, pictures or movies? Or deliberately read impure materials?
* Have I used the internet to find pornography?
* Did I commit impure acts by myself (masturbation)?
* Did I commit impure acts with another - fornication (premarital sex), adultery (sex with a married person)?
* Did I practice artificial birth control (by pills, device, withdrawal)?
* Did I marry or advise anyone to marry outside the Church?
* Did I avoid the occasions of impurity?
* Did I try to control my thoughts?
* Did I engage in homosexual activity?
* Did I respect all members of the opposite sex, or have I thought of other people as objects?
* Did I or my spouse have sterilization done?
* Did I abuse my marriage rights?
* Am I careful to dress modestly?
* Do I pray at once to banish impure thoughts and temptations?
* Have I behaved in an inappropriate way with members of the opposite sex: flirting, being superficial, etc.?

Note: In the area of deliberate sexual sins listed above, all are mortal sins if there is sufficient reflection and full consent of the will. “No fornicators, idolaters, or adulterers, no sodomites … will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Cor 6:9-10) and “Anyone who looks lustfully at a woman has already committed adultery with her in his thoughts.” (Mt 5:28)

SEVENTH & TENTH COMMANDMENTS: “You shall not steal.” (Ex 20:15) and “You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.” (Ex 20:17)

* Did I steal, cheat, help or encourage others to steal or keep stolen goods? Have I made restitution for stolen goods?
* Did I fulfill my contracts; give or accept bribes; pay my bills; rashly gamble or speculate; deprive my family of the necessities of life?
* Did I waste time at work, school or at home?
* Did I envy other people's families or possessions?
* Did I make material possessions the purpose of my life?
* Do I pay my debts promptly?
* Do I seek to share what I have with the poor?
* Have I cheated anyone out of what is justly theirs, for example creditors, insurance companies, big corporations?
* Am I jealous of what other people have?
* Do I envy the families or possessions of others?
* Am I greedy or selfish?

EIGHTH COMMANDMENT: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” (Ex 20:16)

* Did I lie?
* Did I deliberately deceive others, or injure others by lies?
* Did I commit perjury?
* Did I gossip or reveal others' faults or sins?
* Did I fail to keep secret what should be confidential?
* Do I speak badly of others behind their back?
* Am I sincere in my dealings with others?
* Am I critical, negative or uncharitable in my thoughts of others?
* Have I injured the reputation of others by slanders?

OTHER SINS

* Did I fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday?
* Did I eat meat on the Fridays of Lent or Ash Wednesday?
* Did I fail to receive Holy Communion during Eastertime?
* Did I go to Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin? Without fasting (water and medicine permitted) for one hour from food and drink?
* Did I make a bad confession?
* Did I fail to contribute to the support of the Church?

… After reading those, I usually have a number of things to confess.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Oh, and these are hanging inside the confessional …

SINS THAT NEED TO BE CONFESSED

“He that hides his sins shall not prosper” (Prov. 28:13)

“If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins” (1 John 1:9)

* Abortion
* Adultery
* All use of illegal drugs
* Any dealing with occult, IE. Ouija boards
* Artificial Birth Control
* Blasphemy: disrespect toward God or toward His Holy Name.
* Breaking promises deliberately
* Bringing dishonor to family, school, community, or the Church.
* Calumny: telling lies about another.
* Despair: To believe that God will refuse to forgive you
* Destruction of other people’s property
* Detraction: Telling an unkind truth about another
* Disobedience toward parents/teachers
* Drunkenness, including any drinking under the age of 21
* Excessive materialism
* Gluttony: eating or drinking to excess
* Gossip: talking about others
* Hatred
* Homosexual actions
* Impure thoughts
* Indifference to good or evil
* Ingratitude
* Intentional violation of school rules
* Jealousy
* Laziness
* Lying
* Malice: The deliberate choice of evil
* Masturbation: impure actions with yourself
* Missing Mass on any Sunday or Holyday
* Murder
* NOT PRAYING EVERYDAY
* Not giving to the poor and the Church
* Premarital sex, including oral sex, intercourse, impure touching of another
* Presumption: Sinning and saying God MUST forgive me.
* Pride
* Prostitution
* Reckless driving that endangers you, passengers, or others
* Rudeness
* Selfishness
* Stealing
* Superstition
* Unjustified anger
* Using others for your own personal gain
* Watching or looking at pornographic material

 

[averheyen]

Well that helps expose my conscience.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Yep, exposes my conscious – guess that is why it is provided.

 

[baltobetsy]

Wow, Sir Knight, that must be quite a parish you belong to. I’ve never seen anything like that posted in a confessional. The closest thing is a copy of the Act of Contrition. That’s really great.

Betsy

 

[GratefulDad]

Certain “promises” have been given to those that go to confession on the first Friday of each month. I believe that this is what he is talking about and I also assume that he sometimes feels that he may not always have any mortal sins to confess within a 30 day time period.

That’s what I mean Knight. Individual confession either just going for the graces every few weeks or month. Or as part of a devotional. I think far to many people discount the graces of the Sacrament of Penance and I really enjoy going. It is such a cleansing effect on my soul and body.

 

[Sir_Knight]

If you read what I posted here, here & here, I think you may have something to confess in a 30-day time period. Since these appeared (parish Lent retreat a year and a half ago), I’ve gone from monthly confessions to weekly confessions.

PS: I agree about the “cleansing” feeling – feels better than taking a refreshing shower after working in the yard on a hot & humid Summer day.

 

[CatholiCommit]

**
I just thought of something that might be help since there are a lot of people including myself that struggle with confession, especially having to give one.

Whenever I think of having to go to confession, I think when the priest hears my confession and says prayers so that my sins be truly forgiven not just by getting an absolution from the priest. sometimes the absolution is the only thing we think about. Then think what if the priest was really Jesus in a white robe wearing the Purple Penance Stole, we are really confessing to him anyway, the Priest is there partly to petition to God on our behalf for what we have confessed. So saying that the Priest is also there for counsel, I did not think this could be but I have been reading and so kind of think outside the confessional in a way when you need a little counseling that is what the Priest is there for as well.**