What is the purpose of lingerie?

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whatevergirl said:
For many men, I’m sure what you say is true, but I definitely think it’s entirely possible for a man to lust after his wife…and that be the only focus of the marital embrace. His own satisfaction vs viewing the embrace as a sacrificial display of love.
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It is not necessary that the sexual act be approached with the foremost thought of “this is a sacrificial display of love.” Sex is sensual and carnal and spiritual in a good sense. The man and the woman love each other, desire each other, and seek to give each other pleasure. In the passion of the moment, one does not need to meditate on the deeper meaning, rather one should enjoy the mutual gift of each other’s bodies.

I think it is quite difficult for a man to lust after his wife. He will greatly desire her, certainly, but view her as an object, a thing with no intrinsic value??? That requires an enormous departure from what married life ought to be and is quite disordered. In a good sacramental marriage such an objectification is very difficult to imagine.
 
What exactly are we talking about when we say lingerie?

I consider what I wear under my everyday clothes to be lingerie; a bra and panties…
 
shannyk said:
What exactly are we talking about when we say lingerie?

I consider what I wear under my everyday clothes to be lingerie; a bra and panties…
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Hmmm…more like lacy…garters…‘teddies…more seductive looking under garments.’ That type of ‘under’ wear. I wear hanes for women…they look like boxers.😊
 
Sure said:
It is not necessary that the sexual act be approached with the foremost thought of “this is a sacrificial display of love.” Sex is sensual and carnal and spiritual in a good sense. The man and the woman love each other, desire each other, and seek to give each other pleasure. In the passion of the moment, one does not need to meditate on the deeper meaning, rather one should enjoy the mutual gift of each other’s bodies.

I think it is quite difficult for a man to lust after his wife. He will greatly desire her, certainly, but view her as an object, a thing with no intrinsic value??? That requires an enormous departure from what married life ought to be and is quite disordered. In a good sacramental marriage such an objectification is very difficult to imagine.
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To lust after someone, doesn’t begin and end with viewing someone with no intrinsic value. That is a part of the definition, but not the complete definition. Someone can lust after someone–meaning, they would like to have a need gratified. The need is greater than their concern over whether or not they are showing sacrificial love to their spouse, so it is quite possible for a man or woman to have a misguided view of sexuality. That’s all I’m trying to say.
 
My first thought was “to come off the body”…

On a more serious note though, I would agree and repeat what several posters have said…

It makes me go from “mommy mode” to “wife mode” more easily.

It makes me feel pretty and attractive. Side note: I did have trouble finding lingerie that didn’t show my every bump, but I did find a couple things after shopping for hours on end for my wedding.

It makes my husband happy. He knows I care enough about him and our marriage to dress attractively for him. I don’t feel objectified and I know it’s for him only.

Oh, and I buy it, DH does not. He wouldn’t know what to buy, where to start, and would be incredibly embarrassed in that department probably. 🙂 He did buy me some old lady type nightgowns for me last Christmas though (at my request) ;).
 
I love lingerie. I used to hate it because it depressed me… when I tried to “stimulate” a response out of my ex… After he left I would occasionally wear it just to feel pretty…

Now with DH… I don’t think he cares whether I wear it or a sloppy tee and flannel pants to bed… he is still interested. I wear it to feel good about myself and to please him. He does tend to comment on them every once in a while… not in a bad way, just not in a typically male way. Like, hmmm… he likes that color on me or how soft the fabric is… (I won’t buy the itchy stuff) or how this one makes my legs look obscenely long… (I have to wear talls in pants because of how long they are)… not typical guy comments…
 
I’m citing from faulty memory here, but I believe that JPII assigned lust in marriage to the use of contraception. That using ABC sets up the moral-psychological context of using, rather than loving the other.

I think the contraceptive mentality, not the buying of lingerie, is the greater cause of lust.
 
shannyk said:
What exactly are we talking about when we say lingerie?

I consider what I wear under my everyday clothes to be lingerie; a bra and panties…
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I think of lingerie as the frilly, fancy stuff; Victoria’s Secret rather than Fruit of the Loom (or Just My Size, in my case). It’s hard to feel romantic when one is wearing granny-panties. In fact, back in my dating days, I used to wear the ugliest undies I could find in an attempt to avoid near occasions of sin – if I knew I would be mortified by my unattractive underwear, it was much easier to keep those areas off-limits! 😃 And if I got into a car wreck, I knew the EMTs would just cut them off anyway if I were that badly injured.
 
Lingerie is the the difference between unwrapping a present covered in butcher paper or unwrapping a fancy wrapped present. Both wrappings do the job, but one is much pretty and will generate much more excitement. It is not about lust, it is about the whole act and the unitive portion for both the man and the woman.

I have a question for those that don’t believe in lingerie, Are the lights always off in your bedroom?
 
CarrieH said:
I think of lingerie as the frilly, fancy stuff; Victoria’s Secret rather than Fruit of the Loom (or Just My Size, in my case). It’s hard to feel romantic when one is wearing granny-panties. In fact, back in my dating days, I used to wear the ugliest undies I could find in an attempt to avoid near occasions of sin – if I knew I would be mortified by my unattractive underwear, it was much easier to keep those areas off-limits! 😃 And if I got into a car wreck, I knew the EMTs would just cut them off anyway if I were that badly injured.
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I thought I was alone in thinking about being in an accident with an ugly pair of underwear. 😊 Like this is what will be on everyone’s mind if I were being rushed to the hospital. If I were conscious, it might be on my mind, though. 😛
 
whatevergirl said:
I thought I was alone in thinking about being in an accident with an ugly pair of underwear. 😊 Like this is what will be on everyone’s mind if I were being rushed to the hospital. If I were conscious, it might be on my mind, though. 😛
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You would be suprised…When I was 19, I went to the ER when I first found out that I was Type 1 Diabetic in DKA. Any way, the ER Nurse that took care of me came to see me the next day to see how I was doing, and she commented on my Mickey Mouse Boxers that I was wearing. So they do notice and remember.
 
Nechasin said:
You would be suprised…When I was 19, I went to the ER when I first found out that I was Type 1 Diabetic in DKA. Any way, the ER Nurse that took care of me came to see me the next day to see how I was doing, and she commented on my Mickey Mouse Boxers that I was wearing. So they do notice and remember.
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GASP::eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
I bought a ton of lingerie for the wedding night and honeymoon. 😃

But, I think the word lingerie needs to be defined, and that in itself could be a problem for all the posters here.

For example, I think silky camis, lacy teddies and matching robes are lingerie. I feel like a pretty princess in them.

Others hear the word lingerie and think of studded leather. 😃

For me, the purpose of lingerie is twofold: I think it’s pretty and I think hubby likes it.

For thoe who feel wary about lingerie…do you also feel it is wrong to freshen up (e.g. put on makeup or fix your hair) for DH? Would you feel better if it was just for yourself? Is it the sexual part that bothers you?
 
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