Just seems to me that there is a fundamental lack of overall charity by asking a loved one for a stipend or donation when they ask a Church to mention a departed loved one in a Mass that is already scheduled to take place. Would like an explanation.
Can. 946 The Christian faithful who give an offering to apply the Mass for their intention contribute to the good of the Church and by that offering share its concern to support its ministers and works.
A Mass stipend is never required for a Mass intention (canons 947, 1385, 952 §2 ). Mass stipends are a small way in which in the faithful help contribute to the Church. In times past, the faithful would contribute various forms of gifts to help their local church, in the modern world it has become almost always a monetary gift.
At one time in history, and even today in certain poor countries, Mass stipends were a significant portion of a priest’s income. In the Western world this is not necessarily true, but it does help supplement clergy. Even though in the USA priests are not reliant on Mass stipends for the majority of their income, the offering allows the faithful to make a sacrificial offering of their own.
A priest may only keep one Mass stipend per day (canon 951 §1) and any other stipends received that day must be given to charity.
Mass stipends are generally, in the western world, of symbolic value. The recommended Mass stipend is generally only $5-$10 for a week day and a little more on weekends to help supplement the cost of music.
DISCLAIMER: Catholic Answers has turned over the archive to Catholic-Questions.org and no longer owns, manages, or moderates the forums. For additional apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.