What is the role of the Deacon in sacrament of marriage

[DenaTii]

My daugher is a Catholic intending to marry a baptised Anglican in a Franciscan Friary Church in England. Its not her Parish Church but all the necessary paperwork has been completed by her own Parish and the Deacon at the Franciscans. We had hoped that a family friend Priest would conduct the Ceremony … with the Deacon and Franciscan Parish Priest assisting. During a recent phone call to the Deacon to talk generally about the Mass, I was shocked to be told that the policy of the Franciscan Friary was that the Deacon would conduct the ceremony, not a Priest and that there would be no Mass. As Irish Catholic Parents we find this incredible … the most important part of the whole day is the Mass and the Eucharist … and now we don’t know what to do. This Deacon has been most unhelpful … he appears to have taken it for granted that unless we specifically asked for Mass, it would not be part of the Ceremony. We fell they may as well get married in a Registery Office rather than a Catholic Church without Mass.
Can anyone explain this to me ? This role of the Deacon is almost “alien” to me and we need a Priest ! Has the Church changed without my noticing ? She is our first daughter to marry and the rest of our family live in Ireland. They’ve never heard of anything like this in the emerald isle! Would appreciate any help!

 

[Phemie]

My daugher is a Catholic intending to marry a baptised Anglican in a Franciscan Friary Church in England. Its not her Parish Church but all the necessary paperwork has been completed by her own Parish and the Deacon at the Franciscans. We had hoped that a family friend Priest would conduct the Ceremony … with the Deacon and Franciscan Parish Priest assisting. During a recent phone call to the Deacon to talk generally about the Mass, I was shocked to be told that the policy of the Franciscan Friary was that the Deacon would conduct the ceremony, not a Priest and that there would be no Mass. As Irish Catholic Parents we find this incredible … the most important part of the whole day is the Mass and the Eucharist … and now we don’t know what to do. This Deacon has been most unhelpful … he appears to have taken it for granted that unless we specifically asked for Mass, it would not be part of the Ceremony. We fell they may as well get married in a Registery Office rather than a Catholic Church without Mass.
Can anyone explain this to me ? This role of the Deacon is almost “alien” to me and we need a Priest ! Has the Church changed without my noticing ? She is our first daughter to marry and the rest of our family live in Ireland. They’ve never heard of anything like this in the emerald isle! Would appreciate any help!

In the Latin rite a Deacon can receive the consent of the couple. In fact, in some cases of necessity a lay person appointed by the Bishop with Rome’s approval can receive the couple’s consent. Obviously in that case the marriage is celebrated within a Liturgy of the Word, not a Mass. The couple confer the sacrament on each other, the priest or deacon is only there to witness the fact.

Now if the couple has their hearts set on having a Nuptial Mass and the bride on receiving Communion they may have to turn elsewhere for it but it’s usually recommended that a mixed-marriage be celebrated in a Liturgy of the Word, with no Communion since the groom can’t receive and probably neither could many of their guests.

 

[benedictgal]

In the Latin rite a Deacon can receive the consent of the couple. In fact, in some cases of necessity a lay person appointed by the Bishop with Rome’s approval can receive the couple’s consent. Obviously in that case the marriage is celebrated within a Liturgy of the Word, not a Mass. The couple confer the sacrament on each other, the priest or deacon is only there to witness the fact.

Now if the couple has their hearts set on having a Nuptial Mass and the bride on receiving Communion they may have to turn elsewhere for it but it’s usually recommended that a mixed-marriage be celebrated in a Liturgy of the Word, with no Communion since the groom can’t receive and probably neither could many of their guests.

I second what my Canadian sister says with an excerpt from Sacramentum Caritatis, where Pope Benedict notes:

In this regard, I would like to call attention to a pastoral problem frequently encountered nowadays. I am referring to the fact that on certain occasions – for example, wedding Masses, funerals and the like – in addition to practicing Catholics there may be others present who have long since ceased to attend Mass or are living in a situation which does not permit them to receive the sacraments. At other times members of other Christian confessions **and even other religions may be present. Similar situations can occur in churches that are frequently visited, especially in tourist areas. In these cases, there is a need to find a brief and clear way to remind those present of the meaning of sacramental communion and the conditions required for its reception. **Wherever circumstances make it impossible to ensure that the meaning of the Eucharist is duly appreciated, the appropriateness of replacing the celebration of the Mass with a celebration of the word of God should be considered. (153)

This is not to say that the bride would be denied a Nuptial Mass; however, if there will be Anglicans present, then they cannot present themselves for Holy Communion, nor can the groom. It would seem strange that only the bride communicates while the groom cannot, unless he has expressed interest in joining the Church.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I just wanted to add that it is not necessary to have a Mass in order for the marriage to be fully valid and sacramental.

 

[bpbasilphx]

In the Byzantine Churches, marriages are generally celebrated without the Eucharistic Liturgy.

On the other hand, since in Eastern Theology the Priest bestows the Mystery of Matrimony on the couple, a Deacon cannot preside.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I can only add the following links to all this good information:

http://www.cathnews.com/news/501/127.php

http://www.dublindiocese.ie/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=819&Itemid=372

http://www.dublindiocese.ie/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1229&Itemid=549

Apparently, while the rest of the world incorporated permanent deacons into the parishes back when they were established in the 1970s, Ireland did not get many. So, DenaTii, what you need is a crash-course on deacons and their role.

1.) Deacons can, but do not have to be, married men. If their wives predecease them, they may not marry again. Once ordained, they may not marry if not already.
2.) Deacons are scriptural. One of the first deacons was St. Stephen in Acts.
3.) Deacons study before they are ordained.
4.) The diaconate is the first step of ordination. Men who are going to become priests are known as transitional deacons. Men who are just going to be deacons are permanent deacons.
5.) The chief ministry of deacons is service. Toward that end, deacons are allowed to baptize, witness marriages within the context of the Liturgy of the Word, and bury the dead within that same context. Deacons also may read the Gospel (even if the priest is present), and may give homilies.
5.) Deacons are not allowed to celebrate the Liturgy of the Eucharist because they are not ordained as priests. Deacons are also not allowed to hear confessions, and they are not allowed to administer Annointing of the Sick.

As an aside, St. Francis of Assisi was a permanent deacon. Apparently, so was St. Patrick’s father.

 

[lizaanne]

I have a question then that some of you more learned folks may be able to answer.

If there is a priest present, is it not appropriate that HE is the one to marry the couple, and not the deacon? It seems that it would not be appropriate to have a priest standing there and the deacon conducting the ceremony? If there is no Mass, then what is the role of the priest at all in this situation?

To Dena Tii - if you are going to be stuck with this arrangement, you may wish to consider suggesting that the couple go to Mass the following morning together. I will assume that he knows better than to receive Holy Communion.

Oh, I pray for mixed marriages. How difficult and complicated it can become.

~Liza

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I have a question then that some of you more learned folks may be able to answer.

If there is a priest present, is it not appropriate that HE is the one to marry the couple, and not the deacon? It seems that it would not be appropriate to have a priest standing there and the deacon conducting the ceremony? If there is no Mass, then what is the role of the priest at all in this situation?

To Dena Tii - if you are going to be stuck with this arrangement, you may wish to consider suggesting that the couple go to Mass the following morning together. I will assume that he knows better than to receive Holy Communion.

Oh, I pray for mixed marriages. How difficult and complicated it can become.

~Liza

I would say yes, if the priest is the Catholic’s pastor and the Marriage is taking place in his parish church.

 

[DenaTii]

Thanks everyone for your advice/information/explanations.
It has helped me a great deal.
Everything is so much more complicated nowadays, and I suspect I just yearn for the Catholic Church of my Irish childhood where there was very little “red tape” and people’s spirituality and concern for others was of such importance in their everyday dealings with others. My son is at a Benedictine school, and receives his education within the ethos of the Benedictine traditiion based on humility and hospitality … this is probably why I find it hard to understand a Deacon “dictating” how my daughter’s wedding should be… his attitude should be one of Christian co-operation and loving welcome in the service of Christ.

Thanks again…

 

[lizaanne]

I would say yes, if the priest is the Catholic’s pastor and the Marriage is taking place in his parish church.

Yes what? That does not answer my question.

~Liza

 

[darryld]

Lizaanne,

Normally there would not be both Priest and Deacon present. In our archdiosese the following usually happens:

If both bride and groom are baptized Catholics, then a priest will preside at a mass that will include the nuptial rite.

If one is Catholic and the other is a baptized Non-Catholic Christian, then a deacon will preside at a liturgy of the word ceremony that will include the nuptial rite. This ceremony can also include a communion service with preconsecrated hosts for the Catholic members present. This is still a sacramental marriage.

If one is a Catholic and the other is not baptized, then a deacon will preside at a liturgy of the word ceremony that will include the nuptial rite. This is NOT a sacramental marriage. Both parties must be baptized for the sacrament to be present.

I hope this clears up some of your confusion.

 

[martinporres]

Hi OutinChgoburbs,

Great intro for someone not familiar with the role of deacons! One clarification though on this point:

5.) The chief ministry of deacons is service. Toward that end, deacons are allowed to baptize, witness marriages within the context of the Liturgy of the Word, and bury the dead within that same context. Deacons also may read the Gospel (even if the priest is present), and may give homilies.

In my understanding, if a deacon is present, he must proclaim the gospel, even if the presiding priest is a bishop including the pope. I find this “must” a great catechesis for Catholics who regard deacons improperly as glorified altar servers and not as men having received holy orders.

Kind regards,
mp

 

[jmcrae]

My daugher is a Catholic intending to marry a baptised Anglican in a Franciscan Friary Church in England. Its not her Parish Church but all the necessary paperwork has been completed by her own Parish and the Deacon at the Franciscans. We had hoped that a family friend Priest would conduct the Ceremony … with the Deacon and Franciscan Parish Priest assisting. During a recent phone call to the Deacon to talk generally about the Mass, I was shocked to be told that the policy of the Franciscan Friary was that the Deacon would conduct the ceremony, not a Priest and that there would be no Mass. As Irish Catholic Parents we find this incredible … the most important part of the whole day is the Mass and the Eucharist … and now we don’t know what to do. This Deacon has been most unhelpful … he appears to have taken it for granted that unless we specifically asked for Mass, it would not be part of the Ceremony. We fell they may as well get married in a Registery Office rather than a Catholic Church without Mass.
Can anyone explain this to me ? This role of the Deacon is almost “alien” to me and we need a Priest ! Has the Church changed without my noticing ? She is our first daughter to marry and the rest of our family live in Ireland. They’ve never heard of anything like this in the emerald isle! Would appreciate any help!

Because of the fact that her husband is not a Catholic, it is strongly recommended that they not have a Mass, in case he or any of his guests would accidentally or unknowingly go up to receive Holy Communion.

It is especially dangerous with Anglicans, because they practice “open communion” in their own religion, and are often terribly offended to be told that they cannot receive in the Catholic Church - some of them might just go ahead and do so, anyway, even while knowing that it is forbidden.

 

[puzzleannie]

in this country most weddings are witnessed by deacons unless the couple specifically requests a full nuptial Mass, and most priest decline or strongly discourage that for mixed marriages. The reason being the most obvious, that to celebrate the Eucharist, the ultimate sign of Christian unity, with half the guests and one member of the bridal party outside that unity is inappropriate and could be hurtful to those excluded from the sacrament for that reason.

 

[jmcrae]

Thanks everyone for your advice/information/explanations.
It has helped me a great deal.
Everything is so much more complicated nowadays, and I suspect I just yearn for the Catholic Church of my Irish childhood where there was very little “red tape” and people’s spirituality and concern for others was of such importance in their everyday dealings with others. My son is at a Benedictine school, and receives his education within the ethos of the Benedictine traditiion based on humility and hospitality … this is probably why I find it hard to understand a Deacon “dictating” how my daughter’s wedding should be… his attitude should be one of Christian co-operation and loving welcome in the service of Christ.

Thanks again…

Well, the part that is complicating it is that she is not marrying a Catholic.

Back in the old days when things were simple, we were all getting married within our own religions, and fewer precautions had to be taken with regard to the Holy Eucharist.

 

[puzzleannie]

Everything is so much more complicated nowadays, and I suspect I just yearn for the Catholic Church of my Irish childhood where there was very little “red tape” and people’s spirituality and concern for others was of such importance in their everyday dealings with others. …

one problem in our country is that in the days when the “red tape” was ignored and people were allowed to marry non-Catholics w/o proper dispensations or preparation, where essentials of marriage preparation were ignored, many more people contracted marriages that were invalid from inception, and hence we have now an astonishing rate of annulments.

your deacon is not dictating the format for your daughters wedding from his personal preferance, he is following directives from his bishop, pastor or the religious superior involved. Your daughter is Catholic and should be prepared to embrace Catholic law regarding marriage, and hopefully her pre-cana preparation will do much to explain these things to the couple’s satisfaction.

 

[Sarabande]

in this country most weddings are witnessed by deacons unless the couple specifically requests a full nuptial Mass, and most priest decline or strongly discourage that for mixed marriages. The reason being the most obvious, that to celebrate the Eucharist, the ultimate sign of Christian unity, with half the guests and one member of the bridal party outside that unity is inappropriate and could be hurtful to those excluded from the sacrament for that reason.

Having cantored for many Catholic weddings in the last 8 years, I’ve only experienced two weddings where the deacon married the couple. This in the states located in Northeastern part of the US, so perhaps it is different in TX. The first wedding, there was only one priest at the parish, and he couldn’t do it, so one of the three deacons did it. The couple was Catholic, so they distributed communion which was already consecrated, although it was not a mass. For the second marriage, the father of the groom was a deacon at the parish. They also had a priest there, so subsequently had a mass, but due to the special circumstances, they allowed the father to marry his son and daughter-in-law.

But basically, in my area they will only have deacons do the Sacrament if there are no priests available.

I’m assuming for the OP that they are not encouraging the couple to have a mass, since the groom is not a Catholic. It is just a little strange that since they are having a priest there anyway, why wouldn’t the priest marry them rather than the deacon.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Hi OutinChgoburbs,

Great intro for someone not familiar with the role of deacons! One clarification though on this point:

In my understanding, if a deacon is present, he must proclaim the gospel, even if the presiding priest is a bishop including the pope. I find this “must” a great catechesis for Catholics who regard deacons improperly as glorified altar servers and not as men having received holy orders.

Kind regards,
mp

I never said deacons were glorified altar servers. And it is not my understanding. When a priest blesses the deacon and sends him forth, he proclaims the Gospel. If the priest prefers to read the Gospel, then the priest does it.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Yes what? That does not answer my question.

~Liza

But it is not taking place in his parish church. It is taking place in a Franciscan Friary in England.

I know in our diocese, the deacons get the mixed marriages, and any marriages a priest can’t attend.

 

[jmcrae]

I never said deacons were glorified altar servers. And it is not my understanding. When a priest blesses the deacon and sends him forth, he proclaims the Gospel. If the priest prefers to read the Gospel, then the priest does it.

If a Deacon is present, then the requirement is that the Deacon must read the Gospel. The priest doesn’t have a choice in the matter - this is Church law.