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Meghan
Guest
Newsflash??? What in the world are you talking about? I think you replied to the wrong thread, because no where did I suggest that earning a paycheck is equivalent with headship.
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theMutant
Guest
I can only recommend prayer. Prayer for each other to remain Christlike toward them. Prayer for them to receive the grace to understand how their remarks and stares are wrong.
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puzzleannie
Guest
I did not mean to suggest that you did, I meant to reply to those who would criticize you and your husband for the choices you have made, and to respond to those on the thread that have made the connection between paycheck and headship, my message was meant to be support not criticism. If you perceive criticism here, then maybe you do need a little support. I will shut up now, thank you.
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char34
Guest
Check out what this priest has to say! I’m not sure I agree with all of it, especially the part about housework as I’m not naturally neat myself
Something I’m trying to work on with the help of humiliation from my neat mother. It would be difficult to comment on the rest as I was never in the situation that woman is in (or Meghan) as being the main breadwinner, although I did work part time.
oldforum.catholic.org/discussion/messages/41/820549.html?1099300595
Something I’m trying to work on with the help of humiliation from my neat mother. It would be difficult to comment on the rest as I was never in the situation that woman is in (or Meghan) as being the main breadwinner, although I did work part time.oldforum.catholic.org/discussion/messages/41/820549.html?1099300595
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LabChick
Guest
char34 said:
Yikes! Opinions like that make me glad that I never married.
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Black_Jaque
Guest
Labchick,
In some respects, I want to say “good for you!” This is precisely it. Marriage is not about two people seeking gratification, picket fences, big houses, SUVs, and scintillating careers. And if marriage is not for you - it is wise to stay out.
On the other hand, I sense a tinge of snobbishness in your reply. As if there is something “lowly” about being a mom, wife, and home-maker. If this is the case, kindly take a large rubber mallet and give yourself two black eyes for me - my fists don’t reach through cyberspace. Anyone who takes a condescending view of what my mother and my wife did/do for the world should be rebuked, twice, with a right and a left.
Making a home is a great and noble occupation.
In some respects, I want to say “good for you!” This is precisely it. Marriage is not about two people seeking gratification, picket fences, big houses, SUVs, and scintillating careers. And if marriage is not for you - it is wise to stay out.
On the other hand, I sense a tinge of snobbishness in your reply. As if there is something “lowly” about being a mom, wife, and home-maker. If this is the case, kindly take a large rubber mallet and give yourself two black eyes for me - my fists don’t reach through cyberspace. Anyone who takes a condescending view of what my mother and my wife did/do for the world should be rebuked, twice, with a right and a left.
Making a home is a great and noble occupation.
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buffalo
Guest
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LabChick
Guest
Black Jaque:
That being said…there was nothing snobbish about what I wrote. I have nothing against marriage or motherhood. This is my calling and I don’t need to be made to feel inferior just because I’m not married and I don’t have children.
My comment was in reference to the priest’s tone, which reads, to me, as elitist coming from a “man of God.” I know many women who’s husbands are SAHD and do a far better job with the childrearing (not bearing) than their wives could do. To suggest that she would Having had similar experiences with friends, family, and co-workes (of both sexes), I believe laziness was to blame for the lapse in housework.
As a surgeon and faculty member at the nation’s #1 (according to the Princeton Review in 2003) medical school, I have worked very hard to get where I am at. I’m insulted when someone implies that what I do is so meaningless that I could just give it up if I where to marry.
As for “right and left hooks,” let’s leave that to the Moderators.
First of all, I think it’s highly uncalled for to suggest I give myself “two black eyes” because your “fists don’t reach through cyberspace.”
That being said…there was nothing snobbish about what I wrote. I have nothing against marriage or motherhood. This is my calling and I don’t need to be made to feel inferior just because I’m not married and I don’t have children.
My comment was in reference to the priest’s tone, which reads, to me, as elitist coming from a “man of God.” I know many women who’s husbands are SAHD and do a far better job with the childrearing (not bearing) than their wives could do. To suggest that she would Having had similar experiences with friends, family, and co-workes (of both sexes), I believe laziness was to blame for the lapse in housework.
As a surgeon and faculty member at the nation’s #1 (according to the Princeton Review in 2003) medical school, I have worked very hard to get where I am at. I’m insulted when someone implies that what I do is so meaningless that I could just give it up if I where to marry.
As for “right and left hooks,” let’s leave that to the Moderators.
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TreeHugger
Guest
Hey LabChick,
Congratulations on your achievements! It takes a lot of hard work to accomplish what you have.
I think what some of the members who have posted are trying to say is that marriage involves a lot of sacrifice, and that once one has children, it is important to keep the focus of one’s life on his/her family, and to constantly challenge oneself with these questions: “How can i help my family achieve holiness? What can I do to help them to know God, and grow more and more in the faith?”
I know myself, that after considering these questions honestly, and praying for God’s guidance, I feel the right thing for me to do for my own family will be to stay home (and more than likely) homeschool my children. Coming to this conclusion was hard. I was always at the top of my class growing up, and still am now in university, and many people have made me feel like unless i have a career, i would be wasting my talents. I think being a surgeon, a teacher…all of these career choices are fantastic and contribute much to our society. But I don’t feel like if I had a job outside of raising my children, i would be able to give as much to my children and family as i could without one.
And so, I don’t look at women who have careers like yours as meaningless, and something that should be given up if one gets married and has kids because the job is meaningless. I also don’t think the other posters do. Instead, I think of staying home with ones kids as a beautiful sacrifice that is often made by women in hopes of serving their family all the better, and bringing them to holiness. Hope this helps!
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John_of_Woking
Guest
Women should do the dishes and clean up and do the housework and cooking, ironing etcHello,
I would like to know how a Catholic marriage is to be structured, and specificially what the role of the wife should be. I learned from some sources that the wife should submit to her husband, and from other sources that the husband and wife should submit to each other. What does the Church hold to be true?
Thank you
And so should men
Seriously we are called to acts of kenosis. A self-emptying sacrificial service to one another whereby through the grace of the Sacraments we graft ourselves ever closer on to the vine of Christ and find our true identity in and through one another. Wives should be obedient to the Husbands and Husbands are called to show a love comparable to Christ and his church… a tall order
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buffalo
Guest
That is a feminist mantra and sales point. If you are a stay at home mom you are not making a significant contribution to society. My wife has gone through this and was very insulted by her being measured as to her “carreer”. She was looked down upon for choosing to stay home.
If you have children what could be more important than raising them?
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RedHead_Sue
Guest
Nothing could be important than raising children, that was never suggested, from what I’m reading. What LabChick was trying to say, I believe, is that women who don’t have children, whether married or single, shouldn’t be made to feel less valuable. I was in a similar boat for a very long time, so I understand completely.
Women who are stay-at-home-mothers feel put down by those who aren’t. But remember that it goes both ways. I’ve lost count of the times when a SAHM told me my children where going to turn out badly or came right out and called me a “bad mother” because I worked.
Why can’t we just accept our differences and get along???
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char34
Guest
Out of curiosity, to those who are opposed to women working outside the home full time, are you also opposed to women working part time? My husband works full time AND part time, and it is definately not the most ideal situation.He is stressed by being away 7 days a week, I am stressed being home by myself 7 days a week. After all, shouldn’t fathers play a role other than providing an income in their children’s lives too? Even Jesus spent quite a bit of time working along with his father.
I used to work part time, but have been unable to find a job in the last few months, but I hope to soon. The certificate I obtained recenty would allow me to work any hours I want (home care) which was one of the reasons why I was interested in this particular field. Seems to be the answer to our prayers!
I used to work part time, but have been unable to find a job in the last few months, but I hope to soon. The certificate I obtained recenty would allow me to work any hours I want (home care) which was one of the reasons why I was interested in this particular field. Seems to be the answer to our prayers!
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space_ghost
Guest
to keep their husbands from screwing up the world… at least that’s what my wife told me to write… 
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Black_Jaque
Guest
LabChick,
I think you focused entirely on my second paragraph. If you sincerely have no condescention towards home-making, then you can entirely disregard my second paragraph and read only the first, in which I commend you.
Next, do you see a difference between typing a few word suggesting that you give yourself two black eyes and actually doing it? I assume you were smart enough not to follow my request. Hence, how much pain did you really suffer? Lighten up.
What you do is not totally meaningless. If this is your calling, then hey, it’s the most important thing for you to be doing. Now if you also find yourself getting the desire to marry and have children - you have some heavy discernment to do. Maybe your husband will take to staying at home, maybe you’re better qualified. You will need to use your career to serve your family, and if sacrificing it is what is necessary…
Career takes a back seat for the man’s role also. His career is there to serve his family. He should be choosing a career path that best suits the needs of his family. That might mean passing up promotions so he can stay home more, or be less stressed when he gets home. Sometimes it means taking a promotion so you can afford another bedroom, or college tuition. It’s a tough choice to make, but the choice has to be discerned in the best interest of family- not whichever path seems most enjoyable for him.
I think you focused entirely on my second paragraph. If you sincerely have no condescention towards home-making, then you can entirely disregard my second paragraph and read only the first, in which I commend you.
Next, do you see a difference between typing a few word suggesting that you give yourself two black eyes and actually doing it? I assume you were smart enough not to follow my request. Hence, how much pain did you really suffer? Lighten up.
Who made this implication? Me? Or the priest’s post?
What you do is not totally meaningless. If this is your calling, then hey, it’s the most important thing for you to be doing. Now if you also find yourself getting the desire to marry and have children - you have some heavy discernment to do. Maybe your husband will take to staying at home, maybe you’re better qualified. You will need to use your career to serve your family, and if sacrificing it is what is necessary…
Career takes a back seat for the man’s role also. His career is there to serve his family. He should be choosing a career path that best suits the needs of his family. That might mean passing up promotions so he can stay home more, or be less stressed when he gets home. Sometimes it means taking a promotion so you can afford another bedroom, or college tuition. It’s a tough choice to make, but the choice has to be discerned in the best interest of family- not whichever path seems most enjoyable for him.
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Mindy_Mae
Guest
Black Jaque:
Even if it was meant as sarcastic or a joke, it’s insulting to someone who’s been a victim of domestic violence. It’s not funny. Ever.
I think it’s wrong and irresponsible for a member of a supposedly Catholic internet forum to threaten another with physical violence, or to tell her to beat herself up because he can’t reach.
Even if it was meant as sarcastic or a joke, it’s insulting to someone who’s been a victim of domestic violence. It’s not funny. Ever.
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Sweetcakes
Guest
Each marriage is unique and couples are free to decide what works for them.
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Sweetcakes
Guest
**take a large rubber mallet and give yourself two black eyes for me - my fists don’t reach through cyberspace. **
This person should be immediately banned.
This person should be immediately banned.
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