What is the vocation of same-sex-attracted Catholics?

[jeannetherese]

This is about vocations.

Yes!
Here’s some food for thought from the Catholic Encyclopedia regarding ecclesiastical and religious vocations:
An ecclesiastical or religious vocation is the special gift of those who, in the Church of God, follow with a pure intention the ecclesiastical profession of the evangelical counsels. The elements of this vocation are all the interior and exterior helps, the efficacious graces which have led to the taking of the resolution, and all the graces which produce meritorious perseverance.

Ordinarily this vocation is revealed as the result of deliberation according to the principles of reason and faith; in extraordinary cases, by supernatural light so abundantly shed upon the soul as to render deliberation unnecessary. There are two signs of vocation: the one negative, the absence of impediment; the other positive, a firm resolution by the help of God to serve Him in the ecclesiastical or religious state.
Source:

CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: Ecclesiastical and Religious Vocation

The special gift of those who, in the Church of God, follow with a pure intention the ecclesiastical profession of the evangelical counsels

www.newadvent.org

 

[jeannetherese]

And here is some information on Third Orders from the same source. If one goes to the link and reads on, there is much information concerning several of the Third Orders (Please be aware that many more third orders exist in addition to those noted, as you discern which might be the best fitted to the individual).

General​

Third Orders signify in general lay members of religious orders, i.e. men and women who do not necessarily live in community and yet can claim to wear the habit and participate in the good works of some great order.
" Members

Any Catholic may join a Third Order, but may not at once belong to more than one, nor may he without grave cause leave one for another. The laying aside of the distinctive sign or prayers for any space of time does not in itself put an end to membership with a Third Order, but the deliberate wish to dissociate oneself from it is sufficient to produce that effect (S. Cong. Indulg., 31 Jan., 1893).
Source:
https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14637b.htm

 

[jeannetherese]

In short the vocational opportunities are exactly the same:

Ordained ministry
Vowed religious life
Promised religious life (societies…etc)
Sacramental married life
Civil marriage/union
Single life

Hi PracticallyCatholic,
Welcome to the forums. A fascinating first day post and I hope you will follow up with the name of the manual you cited .
Also, I noticed you listed Civil/Marriage/union as a vocation, but I’m not sure that the Catholic Church would consider this to be a vocation.
Could you share documentation from the Magisterium which would support this as a vocation?
Thanks so much!
jt

 

[DivineMercy01]

If a woman with SSA can validly and sacramentally marry a man (for whatever reasons), and some women with SSA do in fact choose to do this, why would we categorically suggest that experiencing SSA excludes someone from the possibility of caring for the marital aspect of consecrated virginity?

I don’t think this is accurate-I don’t remember where but I read somewhere that a marriage in which one spouse experiences SSA and lied to their spouse about it can be annulled because the marriage was not free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

 

[JMMJ]

Who says she lied about it? Plenty of couples go into this kind of marriage with eyes wide open. I personally know of two. Both married long term, with kids. They seem as happy as any hetero marriages I know of.

Not that I am recommending it or discouraging it. But it does happen. Not my business.

 

[catholiclala]

Who says she lied about it? Plenty of couples go into this kind of marriage with eyes wide open. I personally know of two. Both married long term, with kids. They seem as happy as any hetero marriages I know of.

Not that I am recommending it or discouraging it. But it does happen. Not my business.

Over the years I have had two gay friends jokingly, but not completely jokingly, say we would be a good married couple. I’m not into it, but I can see this happening quite often.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

Who says she lied about it? Plenty of couples go into this kind of marriage with eyes wide open.

It’s also worth noting that SSA is not “all or nothing.” Plenty of people are bisexual to some degree, but predominantly one or the other.

I imagine the number of happy marriages between a man and a woman where one or the other is exclusively homosexual is quite small. Unless you have a companionate marriage of two people who are of such advanced age that sex isn’t really a priority for either of them anymore.

 

[JMMJ]

Some people are asexual and just don’t have much of a drive. I could see it working out in that case. And, yes, sexuality can land anywhere on a broad spectrum, too.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

Some people are asexual and just don’t have much of a drive. I could see it working out in that case.

Fair. I was thinking more of a marriage between a homosexual and a heterosexual, each with normal sex drives. I can’t imagine too many of those are happy.

 

[JMMJ]

Me either.

 

[jeannetherese]

The manual I referenced is a set of internal documents of a mainstream institute of religious life in the US: highly visible and with a substantial presence. As they are not public documents it is up to the readers here to evaluate the veracity of the statement.

Unfortunately, given your response, there is not way of ascertaining the veracity of your comments. However, an ethical issue arises: IF such documents exist and if you have access to them and if such documents are internal and not to be disclosed to the public, is it appropriate for you to be sharing such (alleged) information?

 

[jeannetherese]

2). The Church has accepted the validity and reality of civil marriages from time immemorial.

3). In regards to Civil Unions you may avail yourself of the plethora of print and digital medias regarding the Bishop of Rome thoughts on the matter.

There is a difference between accepting validity and discussing as a possible vocation.
I’ve yet to encounter instances where the Pope has advocated for civil unions (or civil marriage) as a vocation.

 

[DivineMercy01]

As far as an order, I doubt it. I’m 41, in grad school, and love my career and future path.

You are probably right. Most orders don’t accept people over 40. However, third order is a thing if that interests you.

. I also live in NYC with roommates, the thought of living with a group of women, no thanks, I can’t wait until I can get my own place, haha!

Fair enough. However, the freedom we have as singles exists to be given away. If you were called to an order (not saying you are by any means) the Lord would give you the grace to live among other women.

Missions? How would you define that?

My associate pastor has told me some people who are not called to be married or religious are called to live the single life with a mission (i.e. Joan of Arc). I am not sure if I agree with him that this is a big V vocation because I don’t believe most single people are called to a Joan of Arc type mission in which we save a whole country, but I’m not a priest.

? I feel my career choice is one of service as I am going into librarianship

This is great. However, I know several religious who work as librarians. Your career and an order would not necessarily be mutually exclusive.

Are any of those things considered a mission?

If you’re asking my personal opinion, I would not say any of them are a mission in the sense of “Big V Vocation,” as you can totally do them as a sister or a married woman. A mission would be like starting an orphanage that takes up all your time and you literally can’t have a family or join a religious community.

 

[catholiclala]

Since I’ve converted I’ve always had the feeling God wants me to be an example for laypeople. I don’t think there are enough devout Catholics who are just kind of normal laypeople. I don’t have to be a wife or religious or part of an order, I feel fine with that as I don’t feel called to anything else. Of course, that can change but no need to pressure everyone into joining something. It’s hard to explain what I mean but I think me living in the heart of Brooklyn, immersed in art, culture, and “woke” thinking, I think it does a lot of good to those around me to meet a young Catholic woman that is just normal, but faithful. I donate my time, treasure, and talent in many valuable ways but I think I have a lot of impact on friends and co-workers by the way I live my life. There is no intimidation or thinking I’m “special”. I’ve managed to get Atheists thinking about the Church or coming to Catholic events with me or asking questions because there is no barrier of oh, well of course she thinks this way because she is “different”. Not sure If what I’m saying makes sense but it’s like sometimes when I hear a sister or wife talk I’m like I don’t relate to you, sorry.

 

[DivineMercy01]

Since I’ve converted I’ve always had the feeling God wants me to be an example for laypeople.

Woman after my heart! I feel the same way.

I don’t have to be a wife or religious or part of an order, I feel fine with that as I don’t feel called to anything else.

I think it’s okay-and even good to be content with your singleness. There are too many people idolizing marriage these days.

I’ve managed to get Atheists thinking about the Church or coming to Catholic events with me or asking questions because there is no barrier of oh, well of course she thinks this way because she is “different”

Precisely why the Church needs laypeople who are on fire.