What is wrong with me?

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MetalMark

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Lately, for reasons I do not know, I’ve been having strange and horrifying thoughts relating to aversion and hatred for God. I do not want this, but it keeps coming. I want to love God and be saved but this is making itself a huge obstacle. I try to ignore it but I’m lost. 😦
 
There is nothing wrong with you 🙂

Don’t be troubled by these thoughts. Just get rid of them as soon as they enter your mind. Try saying a Hail Mary or an Our Father every time these thoughts enter your head. That should get rid of them.
 
The thoughts are not sinful as long as you don’t want them or consent to them.

Check out this blog entry by Jimmy Akin, which addresses this problem very thoroughly.

God bless you as you struggle with this.

Betsy
 
Think of it as a temptaion. As long as you don’t give in, you’re okay. It’s not easy especially for someone your age in today’s society to be on the catholic bandwagon. I second a previous poster when they said to say a little prayer.

Keep up the good work! I hope when my kids are 14 they’re hanging out on catholic.com!
 
There are times I’ve felt deserted by God, and during those times I question my belief in Him. I get over it, but in the meanwhile I have a way of making sure I don’t get off track. This may sound strange, but I’ve decided that I will dedicate my life to following the teachings of Christ, whether or not I believe in Him at any given moment.

Here’s why. When I used to get attacks like these, part of the thoughts I’d have were, “gee I wonder if I’ve wasted all the time, talent, and treasure I’ve spent in the name of Jesus” as part of the attack.

What I’ve concluded is that even on strictly human terms, it makes sense to follow the way of Christ, because His way brings peace, joy, and the other fruit of the Spirit.

That way when I am plagued with doubt over my belief, I can no longer be taunted with, “Alan, you’ve wasted half your life on a farce” type thoughts. When I have doubts, I strive to act like Christ. When I’m not having doubts I strive to act like Christ. That way no matter my state of mind I will behave the same way – in terms of loving, forgiving, and all the other things we do as Christians.

Alan
 
I was just looking at your forum name, “MetalMark” and the fact that your 14 years old, so I have to ask - do you listen to heavy metal music?:confused:

If you do, it could very well be causing such terrible thoughts to be entering your mind. So much of that music is devil worshipping and anti-God. We need peace and silence to enter into proper prayer with our Lord and it is getting very hard to find that these days, so look at the pace and noise in your life, try and cut it down some, especially metal music if you listen to it, and I think you will find yourself in a proper state for prayer…🙂

And God Bless you for asking questions on a Catholic forum at only 14 years old!👍
 
Poor username choice, I don’t really listen to as much metal anymore. 😛
When I do it’s mostly Christian or clean secular stuff, never anything anti-Christian. I’m very picky. I do believe you do have a point.
 
The thoughts are a temptation. The thoughts are not you, and you are not the thoughts. Don’t identify with the thoughts, which can only lead you to discouragement.

Those are my two cents. :hmmm:
 
MetalMark said:
Poor username choice, I don’t really listen to as much metal anymore. 😛
When I do it’s mostly Christian or clean secular stuff, never anything anti-Christian. I’m very picky. I do believe you do have a point.
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I bet you’re alot like one of my friends, his name is Eric. He’s a believing Catholic, but he sometimes finds it hard to find a love or zeal for God. He’s a bit malevolent, I don’t know if that’s a character trait in you, (no offense,) but me and him both have no explanation for his mindset. But he is a big fan of Metal. And like you, listens to clean secular stuff and never anything anti-Christian. And is very picky. Maybe there’s some hidden mind-set in the music?
 
MrZetterlund said:
I bet you’re alot like one of my friends, his name is Eric. He’s a believing Catholic, but he sometimes finds it hard to find a love or zeal for God. He’s a bit malevolent, I don’t know if that’s a character trait in you, (no offense,) but me and him both have no explanation for his mindset. But he is a big fan of Metal. And like you, listens to clean secular stuff and never anything anti-Christian. And is very picky. Maybe there’s some hidden mind-set in the music?
Click to expand...
:hmmm:

Maybe.
 
Perhaps I should add - I do have OCD, to a rather serious degree, and I’m hoping this is just another obsession that will pass, like other obsessions I’ve had.
 
I hope you can convince your parents to get you some help.

The trouble you describe in this thread is definitely the kind of thing associated with OCD. I hope you took the time to check out the link to the Jimmy Akin blog in my earlier thread. It has some things that ought to be helpful to you as you work through the obsessions - how to confess if you think you may have given in to temptation, etc.

God bless you, dear. This is a heavy cross to bear, especially without help.

Betsy
 
I used to go to a psychologist, though not for that, but that was were I ended up getting officially diagnosed, and I don’t go anymore since we all pretty much agree I’ve stabilized psychologically, compared to when I started getting counseling.
I’ve brought up medications as way to deal with it, but my mother is against it, as she has the same condition (though not as severe as mine as far as I can tell) and medications did nothing to help her. 🤷
 
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