What is your preference for confession?

[rudytoo72]

I would like to know everyone’s opinion of which they prefer for confession–a priest who you do not know or one who is very familiar to you? The reason I ask is because I can see the merits of both. Sometimes we feel more comfortable going to someone who doesn’t necessarily know us. On the other hand, there is a certain comfort in knowing your confessor well. Do you choose your confessor for a particular reason or just go with the flow?

 

[WhollyRoamin]

I just take whomever is in the booth. There are good confessors, and it’s a treat to get one. But I think of confession like a businesslike activity.

It’s like going to the grocery store. It’s nice to get a friendly/cute/fast clerk or whatever. But as long as they don’t bruise my pears, I don’t really care.

 

[passus]

I have a preference for a regular confessor, but it depends for me. It’s not as though if I am in need of the sacrament of Penance and my regular confessor isn’t there, I won’t go to a priest I don’t know.

There is definitely a range of benefit to having a regular confessor, as Mike Aquilina explains in The How to Book of Catholic Devotions.There is, however, great benefit in finding a regular confessor who can get to know you and advise you on the particular circumstances of your life. A confessor who sees us regularly will, over time, come to see our habits of sin–and see them better than we do. Thus equipped, he can watch for patterns of temptation and help us, perhaps, to trace our common sins back to a single dominant fault. Then he can help us to concentrate on overcoming that fault. (130)

 

[Joannm]

I have a regular confessor whom I confess to face to face but if he is not available then I prefer to go to someone who I know. I have a rule that I don’t confess to a priest I work with, that was until I got a job at my confessor’s parish (we worked together for 2 years). One of my alternate confessor’s I used to work with but now he is assigned to my parish and I have gone to him. I just feel that confessing to somoene you work with can put me in a difficult position, especially if I have to confess something work related, like treating a co worker poorly or confessing taking a sick day off when I wasn’t really sick (as I sit here sick trying to convince myself I am really sick even though I feel better than I did yesterday when my boss told me to go home and not make the whole parish office ill)

 

[jeanne71350]

I would like to know everyone’s opinion of which they prefer for confession–a priest who you do not know or one who is very familiar to you? The reason I ask is because I can see the merits of both. Sometimes we feel more comfortable going to someone who doesn’t necessarily know us. On the other hand, there is a certain comfort in knowing your confessor well. Do you choose your confessor for a particular reason or just go with the flow?

I perfer someone I know well. It’s a tad awkward telling your sins to a stranger.

 

[Karen1960]

I would like to know everyone’s opinion of which they prefer for confession–a priest who you do not know or one who is very familiar to you? The reason I ask is because I can see the merits of both. Sometimes we feel more comfortable going to someone who doesn’t necessarily know us. On the other hand, there is a certain comfort in knowing your confessor well. Do you choose your confessor for a particular reason or just go with the flow?

Before, I was never comfortable going to my own Priests in my Parish.
I used to prefer only going to the many neighboring Parishes where I used to live, then I moved South and found out there are very few Catholic Churches, and because the next Catholic Church is almost 35 miles away, I learned to get over my fear very quickly and now it is much better.
Also there is only one Priest.

 

[benedictgal]

My parochial vicar is my best friend. As in all friendships, sometimes there are serious disagreements. It’s not like I can say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned, I got really mad at you and wanted to …” We both agreed that it wouldn’t be a good idea, unless, of course, I was in an emergency.

It’s like the ancedote that Joseph Bottom, editor of First Things magazine, related about the late Fr. Richard John Neuhaus. Fr. Neuhaus offered to be his confessor. He was already Bottom’s boss, landlord and friend, but, confessor was a bit much.

I will go either to one of several priests that I know or to the Priory of St. John with one of the priests there.

 

[LaRoza]

I would like to know everyone’s opinion of which they prefer for confession–a priest who you do not know or one who is very familiar to you? The reason I ask is because I can see the merits of both. Sometimes we feel more comfortable going to someone who doesn’t necessarily know us. On the other hand, there is a certain comfort in knowing your confessor well. Do you choose your confessor for a particular reason or just go with the flow?

If I had the luxury, I’d go to the same priest unless there was a compelling reason not to.

The church were I go to confession has a few priests do them, and I do not know how they are scheduled. I like them all. One is very short, which can make it less stressful. One listens and asks questions and gives more specific advice and does more prayers, which is very enlightening.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I just go to whoever happens to be hearing Confessions that day. But I do have a dear priest friend that I would feel uncomfortable going to Confession with, unless it was an emergency.

 

[acadian]

I prefer to go with what I know.

When I hadn’t been for several years and I went and found a priest I had known for years, where I knew I would be met with love and kindness.

My parish is small and we have only 1 priest, so I always know who will be on the other side of the door. Since my previous pastor left, that relationship has turned more from pastor to friend, and it would probably be somewhat awkward to go to confession to him now.

I wonder sometimes how priests do it. I made a confession a few months ago that I found very difficult. The next day, I had to go by the office/rectory to see the secretary about something. While I was there, he popped his head in the office to chat. So one day, they hear the worst about a person, and the next day it’s like they never heard a thing.

I suppose in an “emergency” I would go to someone else if he was not available.

 

[ericka1701]

I have only confessed to two priests and I know them both pretty well. One is my parish priest, and also the priest who heard my first confession. Whew, that was a really difficult confession, and I was shocked that I didn’t just get 5 Hail Mary’s and 5 Our Fathers and saying the Rosary as penance (I guess I’ve watched too many movies). Instead he had me pray for someone that I was extremely angry among a few other intentions he gave. Sometimes this priest will have me read a particular passage of gospel. All very specific to what I’m struggling with at the time.

The other priest gives out the standard penances (and I was kinda shocked when I heard that because unlearned as I was at the time, I just thought that with VII it wasn’t done anymore) and gives advise from either Sacred Scripture or Sacred Tradition. Usually points out things I’m totally missing, so I’m greatful for the opportunity to learn and grow. Penances are standard, as in meditating on a particular set of mysteries for the rosary and x Hail Mary’s and x Our Fathers.

I don’t know if I could confess to a priest I didn’t know, but I haven’t been faced with that scenario yet, so never say never, I guess.

God Bless!
Ericka

 

[rkrispies]

I go to the priest who is there in the booth. It just happens that when I go, it is the same one as always.

Chris

 

[Jay53]

I’ll go to whichever priest is available when I go, but my preference is a priest I don’t know and behind the screen. I’m getting better though - there’s been a few times I had to go face to face and with priests I know. Overall, it doesn’t matter as long as they can give me absolution. I just feel awkward about going to the same priest and confessing the same sins - I would expect him to get tired of hearing the same things from the same person and say “Would you quit doing that already!!” or be disappointed that his advice didn’t help and I screwed up again.

 

[danaemariejoan]

For me it depends on what the circumstances surrounding that day. One day, I may want to have someone familiar hear my confession, but on others I want someone I don’t know. It also doesn’t help when the priest that you want to have confession with isn’t there. It’s happened to me a few times.
Another factor is if I want to say something particular to that priest. Like thank him for something that he did for either myself or my family.

 

[Joannm]

I just feel awkward about going to the same priest and confessing the same sins - I would expect him to get tired of hearing the same things from the same person and say “Would you quit doing that already!!” or be disappointed that his advice didn’t help and I screwed up again.

Ahh, but that could be just the incentive you need to stop repeating that sin. Also, if you are comitting the same sin over and over, then perhaps you need to discuss this with the priest or a spiritual director. I know that if my confessor sees that I keep confessing the same thing we talk about how to overcome it. I have stopped a number of “repeating sins” by discussing it with my confessor.

 

[Benedict108]

When I lived in America I had a regular confessor and I loved it. He knew everything about me and truly knew how to direct me. The Monsignor of my church really became my spiritual director/confessor and I would prefer that to an anonymous priest. However, I haven’t been able to establish such a relationship in Singapore. I have had to be more a of a person going with the flow, but I am still searching for a priest whom I could establish a relationship with as my regular confessor. It has just been hard, as there is not always the same priest in the confessional at the set times or I cannot always attend the confession at the same chruch because of my work hours so I go where I can get to, but I would rather have someone who knows me to someone who doesn’t any day.

 

[kristie_m]

It’s like going to the grocery store. It’s nice to get a friendly/cute/fast clerk or whatever. But as long as they don’t bruise my pears, I don’t really care.

That’s actually a great attitude!

I’ve been blessed with a great confessor who is also a good friend. Yes, it might be awkward sometimes…I have had to confess sins against him personally. On the other hand, it gives me the opportunity to make amends right then.

I told him once that I want him to be my sole confessor for two reasons: one, I trust him implicitly, and two, I feel better knowing that there’s only one person who really has the goods on me. That said, if my need is great, and he’s not around, I will go to whoever is available.

 

[puzzleannie]

well comfort is not my number one consideration when approaching the sacrament, spiritual health is, so I have one regular confessor.

 

[msugeotech]

One confessor, face to face.

 

[Black_Dog]

I’m about to undergo my first confession and I’m planning on finding a priest who doesnt know me and whom I’m never ever likely to meet ever again