What kind of wedding reception did you have?

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We had a Saturday morning wedding followed immediately by a luncheon for about 150 guests. Food was served on a buffet, alcohol was available but hardly anyone drank due to the early hour (we had the bar run a tab for every drink served which we paid at the end- much cheaper for us than paying for open bar by the hour), no DJ or dancing, but we did have a friend of a friend put together a string quartet to play during lunch. It ended up being about half the cost of a big evening wedding, and everyone had a great time.
 
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alessandro:
Well, this is essentially the style of reception that Elizabeth dreams about.

I think we’ll just have to compromise. Perhaps we can limit our budget a bit more, but still create the wedding of her dreams. If I can still get my tridentine mass, I’ll be happy 😉
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First of all, get the mass, it is the most important thing.

Things were expensive, but they could have been really, really expensive. The candles holders, which I bought, were purchased from the Mikasa outlet, with a coupon. The flowers were originally supposed to be $300 a table (cali lillies and roses are expensive, plus set up), but I shopped around with a picture of what I wanted and found a lady that gave them to me for $120 a table. We didn’t have a limo, reception and church, same place. We didn’t go on a honeymoon, I hate to fly. The candles were all cheap candles that I spent HOURS on spray glueing them and rolling them in cut glass (that is what people remember the most and I did it all myself). We had it on a Friday, not a Saturday, which saved money. The colors of the wedding were white and silver, so because I had such beautiful candles and flowers, I opted for inexpensive white linens, with a simple, sheer silver overlay, which saved lots.
One area there was no compromise…my dress and veil. They were extremely expensive, Vera Wang couldn’t hold a candle. But when I saw it, I knew it and had to have it. Period.
There is always a way to have the wedding of your dreams and not spend $100,000. If she is having a hard time, pm and I will give you more ideas that are amazing and cheap, but they take time because you and she have to do the work yourself. My now husband and I bonded a lot when we were making our wedding favors…which were to die for.
 
For our reception, we had a formal event, but not exactly black tie. It was very elegant and classy, with a buffet-style dinner of Italian foods and light music played by a D.J. for dinner. The decorations were a couple lamp posts with ivy and strung with white Christmas lights. White tulle and lights were strung around the room. We did the centerpieces ourselves by getting post-Christmas gold candles and placing them at different heights on glass stands. Everything was moderate and simple, but it really added to the elegance I think. I still get compliments about my wedding four years ago, that I did it “just right.”

To be thrifty, I stuck with gold and white to decorate. Like I said before, after Christmas is a great time to hit the craft stores and get decorations for super cheap, depending on how much work she wants to do for the reception. But if she wants it to be that big, then I’d guess she’d be willing to help out!
 
Why would you want to go broke just to pay for a reception that (it sounds like) you can’t afford and don’t really want? There is such a thing as “living within one’s means.” It’s okay to *want *a fancy wedding, to dream about one, to yearn for one…but the reality is that we can’t always get what we want.

I could share my opinion about what the two of you should do, but I won’t. Instead, I will suggest that before the reception planning starts gathering its own momentum, you should be honest with your fiancee.

Then see what her response is. THAT will tell you a great deal.

A mature young woman, your future wife, the mother of your future children (God willing) will be willing to sacrifice for the good of her future husband & family.

Best wishes & happy engagement!
 
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StephanieC:
…I will suggest that before the reception planning starts gathering its own momentum, you should be honest with your fiancee.

Then see what her response is. THAT will tell you a great deal.

A mature young woman, your future wife, the mother of your future children (God willing) will be willing to sacrifice for the good of her future husband & family.

Best wishes & happy engagement!
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I have to agree with Stephanie. I didn’t want to say it, but this is the thing to do.
 
After a wonderful Mass, I had a reception at a restuarant for 250 people. Both our families are large. It was years ago and we paid $35. a person [28 years ago]. Imagine that in todays world? Chicago is strange that way. We never get to use our churches for receptions for they usually don’t allow it. I sort of envy surrounding states that do that. It would save so much money and would take so much pressure off the couple.

Whatever you do decide to do, make sure you put the emphasis on your ceremony/mass and your future together. The actual party is fleeting.
 
I was forced into a Big Big Italian Wedding. If I could go back and eloped I would.
 
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Fitz:
After a wonderful Mass, I had a reception at a restuarant for 250 people. Both our families are large. It was years ago and we paid $35. a person [28 years ago]. Imagine that in todays world? Chicago is strange that way. We never get to use our churches for receptions for they usually don’t allow it. I sort of envy surrounding states that do that. It would save so much money and would take so much pressure off the couple.

Whatever you do decide to do, make sure you put the emphasis on your ceremony/mass and your future together. The actual party is fleeting.
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St. Alphonsus in Chicago I think still allows that in the lower school. They used to have a business of it when they had that big Athenaeum building, where they used to have the commercial school. I went to many a wedding reception there. They DID have an astronomical deposit in 1975, when I thought of having a reception there- $300!!! I think it’s now about $1K, which seems really quite reasonable. And I think St. Greg’s, St. Andrew’s and Our Lady of Lourdes do it. We do it out here at Our Lady of the 'Burbs, but we have a brand-new (10 years) parish center with rules (for a reason to be sure). One of the rules limits alcoholic beverage consumption to beer and wine. Why? Dramshop laws and type of liquor license! I think a lot of parishes in the metro area are worried about the reception guests getting out of line and going bonkers, causing damage to the pairsh hall.
 
We had about 300ish people at ours ( big families on both sides)

It was held in a hotel on the Detroit Riverfront, which worked out really well, as no one had to drive anywhere.

Not elaborate, more ‘fun’ ( it’s a Irish wedding)

One of the bigger deals in an Irish Wedding is the wedding breakfast ( the couple and immediate family). That was also held in the hotel the next morning.
 
Funny you should ask this question…
I am in the process of scheduling mine and there is a convention in our small town the weekend of our wedding. Since so many are flying in I didn’t want to go to the next town for the reception. So we decided to go with a very casual reception as opposed to our very formal wedding plans…so here are the plans as we now have them…
Wedding mass at 1 pm at the church- him, me and our 4 children (3 mine, 1 his) as attendants. Very formal and tradional music…

Reception at 4 (gives everyone time to go home and change into jeans) at the Reindeer Ranch. Very casual dinner, BBQ type stuff, pies for dessert…DJ is my son and his business partner (lucky for me my son actually is a DJ) Seats in this place are hay bales with horse blankets on them…
Lots of room for kids to go outside and run around. Reindeer in a pen, a corn maze that is phenomenal…check out on the web, its called Hardy’s reindeer ranch
reindeerranch.com/

It should be a blast!!!
 
We had an 11am wedding Mass followed by a lunch reception. Background music but no dancing. I knew my folks couldn’t afford a big blow out. That was almost 21 years ago! —KCT
 
Update!!! I called the reindeer ranch and they are charging about $20 a head with food included. Doing it simple…BBQ type food very casual. I am thrilled!!!
 
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BlestOne:
Lots of room for kids to go outside and run around. Reindeer in a pen, a corn maze that is phenomenal…check out on the web, its called Hardy’s reindeer ranch
reindeerranch.com/

It should be a blast!!!
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I have GOT to take a drive to this place and bring the grandkids!!!
 
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OutinChgoburbs:
I have GOT to take a drive to this place and bring the grandkids!!!
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If you decide to come down here…harvest is the best time like near halloween. It truly is a good time! If you decide to please let me know and I will personally escort you there…I’d love to meet up with a fellow CA member!!!
 
My mom and I planned the reception. Hubby wasn’t too intersted in the details, lol.

We had a 7pm wedding (Catholic) with a dinner reception immediately following. We rented a local community hall and had the food catered and had a DJ for the music. My parents insisted on having an open bar because that’s how it was done in their day.

We had about 250 guests (mostly distant relatives of mine). Hubby’s parents, sister, and nieces/nephews came from out of town.

We had problems with the caterer and the DJ. There are so may things I would do differently if given another chance!

But all in all, it was a nice reception. People enjoyed themselves. I personally don’t remember a whole lot of it…that whole day is kind of a blur.

Malia
 
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BlestOne:
If you decide to come down here…harvest is the best time like near halloween. It truly is a good time! If you decide to please let me know and I will personally escort you there…I’d love to meet up with a fellow CA member!!!
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That is when I would go, in the autumn.

Completely aside, no less than Walter Payton’s Roundhouse is host (has been host, not sure they still do it) to the Aurora, IL Zoo’s reindeer for the winter. I went there for supper in the winter, and what was waltzing around in the big middle section, munching corn and hay? REINDEER! I asked where they got them. They told me the deer “wintered” there.

Ad for you folks living in the western suburbs, Roundhouse has really good deals on wedding receptions!:clapping:
 
I voted “other”.

We had an elegant but not black-tie, small (family and close friends) reception. It wasn’t dinner, but what the caterer calls "heavy h’orederves. No dancing, just an instumental group (chamber trio) since there was no common cultural ground for music. It was early evening, which was easier since there were lots of kids. 🙂

We also had our wedding on a Sunday afternoon (not all pastors allow this, but fortunately ours did). It was a holiday weekend and this gave the out-of-towners an extra travel day. We saved money on the hotel and the musicians by not having it on a Saturday or Friday night.
 
I had a big Irish/Italian wedding. I have a large family so we had a big wedding party. A beautiful Mass at 3:00 p.m. was followed by a sit down dinner with family and friends at an elegant wedding hall on the harbor where I grew up. My husband and I grew up in the same parish church.

We opted for the DJ style music instead of the live band. It was very tasteful and alot of fun. Only thing is I was so busy taking pictures and greeting everyone that I missed most of it. I didn’t even get to have a piece of my cake. Only the little bite from the cake cutting. I was told it was fun, though. The reception went on till mid-night.

Funny thing happened. We weren’t leaving for our honeymoon till the next morning so we stayed at the hall for the entire reception. Almost everyone had left before we realized we did not have a ride because we had come in the limo. Thankfully, my husbands cousin was still there and he gave us a ride to my parent’s house to get our car. When I went into my parents house to get some of my things everyone was already dressed for bed and I was still dressed in my gown. The visual still makes me smile. I guess you had to be there.🙂

btw–21 years on September the 1st.
 
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alessandro:
Just curious what kind of wedding reception did you have. How did you ensure that your Faith and culture was part-and-parcel of the reception?
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41 years ago it wasn’t hard. We lived in a small town. Had a beautiful wedding and the reception at church and a dinner at the Lion’s club. Everyone for the most part were Catholic’s at the wedding and the reception and so it was a very Irish Catholic affair. Father Tom even gave the blessing before the meal.
 
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