What made your wedding EXTRA special?!

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My wedding 24 yrs ago - the people who attended and the obstacles they overcame to be there.

My daughter’s wedding 3 mos ago - having our pastor, deacon and LOTS of parish friends in attendance. We even got a photo of our parish family w/ the bride and groom. Priceless.

For us, it’s the people not the surroundings and extras.

My daughter got her dress on e-bay. It was a $500- $700 dress and she got it for around $50 + shipping. Even w/ alterations, it was under $200. It was gorgeous!
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**I’ll get into my own (and my sister’s) wedding later…just wanted to say 2 things really quick though:
  1. check out bridal consignment stores if you don’t go with your grandmother’s dress. If you are planning to buy new, keep in mind that they need you to order well in advance…I’d call a few places this week and ask…don’t want to be left without a dress at the last minute!!!
**
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On the other hand, some stores will let you buy the dress off the floor. That’s what I did, for half price. (Still cost an arm & a leg, but I think it was worth it.)

What made our wedding extra special was having a “high” mass - 4 part choir, incense, candles everywhere, Latin hymns, and singing the mass parts. Luckily our pastor was into that. 🙂 We also had 2 other priests concelebrate from our ecclesial movement. We had a lot of comments from Catholics & Protestants alike how it was the most beautiful wedding they’d seen. Yeah!
 
KCT said:
My daughter got her dress on e-bay. It was a $500- $700 dress and she got it for around $50 + shipping. Even w/ alterations, it was under $200. It was gorgeous!
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I love ebay!!! I will have to take a look, but I worry about sizes…
 
Just married almost three months ago here! Good luck with all that planning–I’m so glad it’s over!

What made our day extra special? Hmm…
  • Gotta agree with Anne on this one:
queen_anne78 said:
Staying chaste 😃
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  • We got some sweet personalized prayer cards printed from www.catholicprayercards.org. The image on the front was of Christ washing the disciples’ feet, and the back had our names, the wedding date, and a quote from Pope Benedict XVI:
To wash one another’s feet means, above all, to forgive one another tirelessly, to always begin again, though it might seem useless. It means to purify one another by enduring each other mutually and accepting that others endure us; to purify one another, giving one another mutually the sanctifying force of the Word of God and introducing ourselves in the sacrament of divine love.
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John 13:1-17 (the washing of the disciples’ feet) was our Gospel reading. 😃
  • I saw DH before Mass (we actually walked down the aisle one right after the other–he was escorted by his parents and I was escorted by mine) to pray before the Blessed Sacrament. It was so wonderful to have that private time together to see each other and spend in prayer, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
  • Our whole Nuptial Mass really is what made our wedding day special for our guests. We had a lot of non-Catholics and lapsed/cafeteria Catholics there, but we really put a lot of work into planning the readings and music, and I think our wedding wasn’t what they expected. They expected it to be long and boring but in the end to look like all the other weddings they had seen. But what surprised a lot of people, I think, is that when it came to the actual vows and rings, it was all us–no priest telling us what to say, just us, facing each other in front of them. Our priest basically concluded his homily by saying it was time for us to stand and say our vows, and I started, and then DH said his. A lot of people commented on that.
  • The people who were there really made all the difference. We had about 130 guests, and it was just the perfect sized group. Everyone was there to see us (hadn’t seen some family in SO long!) and have fun. It was great!
  • My dad, husband and I took dancing lessons to learn how to foxtrot for our first dance songs. It was fun bonding time and we didn’t look like fools on the dance floor, and I doubt an observer could tell we were dancing the same dance step, as the songs were totally different. (DH and I danced to Jack Johnson’s “Better Together,” Dad and I danced to Frank Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight”)
  • We had two “themes”: chocolate and Notre Dame. These are both things we love! Our ‘color scheme’ was chocolate and light blue–bridesmaids wore knee-length chocolate dresses, groomsmen had chocolate vests. We had a delicious chocolate cake (even with chocolate frosting!) and a chocolate fountain. We had chocolate and blue table runners. Notre Dame icons designated our guests’ entree choices on their place cards, and the tables were name after ND campus sites (the Golden Dome, Touchdown Jesus, our dorms, etc.). Our guests had fun finding their tables and looking at a few pictures of campus!
  • From personal experience, nothing you buy and nothing you really plan on as far as decor makes all that big a difference at your wedding. We spent a lot of energy on making the hotel ballroom look great, and it did, but when I think of my wedding day, I’m not pondering the table linens, kwim? Just go with the flow!
That’s all I’ve got for now. Congrats on your engagement!
 
I agree with the poster that said just being yourselves. If you’re not a big extravagent girl, a big, over the top wedding probably isn’t for you. If you are–go for it! We had a very simple, relatively small wedding. It was in our church, we went next door for the reception. We had a cake and punch reception, no dancing, no DJ.

We ended up having lots of time to spend with our friends and family, which was so wonderful. We got married in the afternoon, so that night we went out to dinner with some good friends of DH from out of town. The next day, we spent the day with my friends from out of town. It was so great.

Aside from having our family and friends with us, the thing that I look at the most are the pics they all took. My aunt and uncle got disposable cameras and everyone was taking pictures–adults, kids, whoever. We have tons of pictures that we never expected. We paid for professional photography and I honestly don’t look at those too much, but I LOVE going through the action shots.

Edit–I did the Ebay dress thing too. I got mine for $50. It worked out wonderfully. I just don’t buy expensive clothes; I’m a resale kind of girl, so there was no way I was going to spend a lot on a dress I’d wear for a few hours.
 
My maternal grandmother was there. She’d had a stroke six months earlier and had spent a good deal of time in the hospital and a rehabilitation center. But she was able to attend our wedding and reception, decked out in a pretty pink dress, and was able to walk down the aisle with an usher as part of the official seating before the service. She had a good time banging silverware on the glasses at the reception (for those who don’t know this custom, when guests do this, the newlyweds have to drop everything and kiss), and we got some great professional photos of her with all seven of her children. She passed away two days after our first anniversary, so it was really a blessing to have her at the wedding.

My husband’s paternal grandmother was also there, of sound mind and body (she also walked proudly down the aisle with an usher), and dressed in a very smart black and white suit. She also had a good time. It’s nice to remember her like that, as she now lives in a hospital dementia ward with advanced-stage Alzheimer’s and can no longer walk, nor can she usually remember her family members. 😦

Seriously- the material details don’t matter. Serve cake and punch in the parish hall if you want. But make sure you invite all of your loved ones and take lots of photos. You never know how long they’ll be with you.
 
My husband and I secretly learned to tap dance and surprised everyone by tapping for our first dance.
When the music started, we just stood in the middle of the floor. Our friends at the tables closest to the dance floor started to look nervous. They were raising their eyebrows at us in a way that silently said ‘DO SOMETHING!’
And then.
click
clack
kick
There was a ripple through the crowd as people started realizing that we were actually TAPPING.
‘Are they…’
‘No, it couldn’t be…’
‘Yes! Yes! They are!’
By the time the song was over, EVERY guest was on their feet and the ones in the back were standing on their chairs cheering us on.
They all STILL talk about it! Everyone said it was a wedding that they would never forget!

And we had a photo booth, too, for people to take their pictures. Those are still some of my favorite pictures.

We also had fireworks…well, WE didn’t have them. We just chose to get married on the day of the city fireworks, so for about half an hour in the middle of the reception, we had a fireworks display.

Sweet!
 
Get a dress that you look gorgeous in. You only get married once. I did this and I don’t regret it on bit.

Realizing that all wedding days have their oops.
  1. Putting my makeup on in a moving car because we were running late.
  2. A groomsmen telling me there was a problem with the cumberbunds and in the next sentence fixing that problem for me.
  3. The person who was supposed to do a reading not being able to show up and another dear friend stepping in at the last moment.
Staying until the reception was over. Heck you pay for the big party you might as well enjoy it.

Having a picture of us on a board where people could write something to us.

Memorizing our vows. After 19 1/2 years I can still recite them. This really has helped in those “bad times.” Although I would suggest that you start before the night before the wedding. The priest informed us the evening before that we had to recite via memory. I was so nervous.
 
My daughter got married in June, 2008.

Everyone lost it when the bride’s sister (the maid of honor) did a reading from Imitation of Christ–this classic has some great readings suitable for weddings, BTW. The bride’s sister is a theater professional with a degree in theater. Although she’s not an actress, she’s been trained in acting. So she started out the reading in that strong, clear “stage voice” and everyone could hear her and it was so expressive and beautiful. Then she broke down half-way through the reading, and finished it in her “sister” voice–soft and weepy. What a contrast–it was so sweet.

One thing that made my daughter’s wedding EXTRA special is how many things went WRONG, but my daughter and her new husband accepted these things with grace. We’re not talking little things here, we’re talking HUGE things:
  1. Best Man is in the Army, and they wouldn’t grant him leave to come home and be in the wedding, so a week before the wedding they had to ask another cousin to be Best Man. Very disappointing to the groom, as his choice for Best Man has been his cousin and best pal since infancy.
  2. The lodging for the bridal party and groomsmen flooded two days before the ceremony, so we had to scramble to find a place for them to stay–remember, this was JUNE, when everyone is getting married and everything is booked. Also, the lodging was a place that had great emotional significance for my daughter, because our family has stayed in it during Christmas for many years.
  3. My father didn’t come to the wedding and never called us to let us know why. He just didn’t show up. We still don’t know why, and I’ll be honest, it was extremely painful for me and for the bride and the whole family, for that matter. My parents-in-law were quite disgusted. Sometimes people on this forum wonder why I have trust and authority issues–well, experts say that your father represents God to you. I hope that God understands that sometimes, I just can’t trust Him because I can’t trust my father.
  4. It rained the day of the wedding (as it did throughout the entire spring in our area of the U.S.), so the park people moved the wedding site (it was an outdoor wedding) that morning.
There are the biggies. And my daughter and her husband truly did meet these obstacles with grace, even though they were disappointed. All along, I had been teaching my daughter that any disappointments in a wedding should be accepted as “life,” and that this is a good way to prepare for real life, which is often fraught with disappointments and trials. I think she (and her husband) took the lesson to heart and bore the wedding troubles well.
 
I am really amazed with all the different types of stories everyone is sharing! They are all so unique and I am learning from each of them! Thank you so much!

I really am simple. I plan to keep the wedding that way. I wish we could use a hall at the church, but my church is still pretty new and they have not built it yet. Darn! So we have to pick some sort of site after the wedding…

Just wondering, is it usually up to the bride and her family to do the majority of the planning??? For one, the fiance is getting ready for med school so he cant really help plan bc he is always swamped. I wish we could plan something special for our guests. This part dampens my spirits quite a bit as I try to start planning. I have 3 sisters and I am the first to marry so they dont have much advice which is why I wanted to know what you all did!!

Keep the stories coming!!!
 
perez,

We had a luncheon reception. The wedding was at 11 am on a Saturday, followed immediately by the reception. It was a LOT cheaper on Sat. afternoon than it was on Sat. night, and was easier for any guests with young kids- they didn’t have to worry about babysitters, the kids were in good moods because they weren’t missing bedtimes, and everyone was on their way home by 4 pm.

My husband did help with the planning, but he wasn’t swamped with work like your fiance is. It really doesn’t have to be high stress. Start scouting out local places where you could have a reception. If you know people who have been recently married, ask for recommendations. We chose a banquet room at a local golf course, with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the course. At night that wouldn’t matter, but since we were having the day reception, we wanted a nice view. 🙂 It was a pretty room, and people who had been to other functions there praised the food.

I guess the best advice I have is: don’t be a Bridezilla and keep it simple. 😃 Take your bridesmaids along to pick out dresses. I went shopping with two of my maids, with a couple of possible colors in mind, and told them to try on a bunch of dresses until they found one that they both liked. I gave them a choice of colors, and they of course picked the one that was my third choice, but it ended up looking great on all of them.

I waited to order the flowers until the ladies’ dress color was chosen, then took one of their matching stoles to the florist to coordinate colors. We had already ordered the cake (the tasting was one of DH’s favorite parts, definitely take your fiance for that), but left the decoration simple and had the florist decorate the cake with real flowers. We hired the photography firm that did my senior photos, my parents’ wedding, and my maternal grandparents’ wedding. Make sure you have a good photographer. Ask people in your community for recommendations- many of them will have had professional photos done at least once.

I’m not a Martha Stewart type. I was all too happy to get lots of (name removed by moderator)ut from everyone around me. 🤷
 
We got married in June of 1974. It rained EVERY weekend for months before our weddding day and every weekend for months after our wedding day. It was bright and sunny on our wedding day. It was simply perfect. We had quite a few glitches but weather was not one of them.

Some of the more interesting faux-pas, one of my brothers showed up an hour late. He was coming in as we were exiting.

My bride wasn’t paying attention during the exchange of vows and said something non-sensical, to which the priest gave a funny expression, ignored it and went on.

We forgot to invite Father to the reception which was held down the road in another church.

Our official wedding photograpgher lost the film to our formal photos PLUS the ones he did have were just awful. Luckily my brother in law took a boatload of photos and they were great. (he is now a pofessional wedding photograper), So even if you hire a pro, have other folks take a bunch also.
 
wcknight said:
We got married in June of 1974. It rained EVERY weekend for months before our weddding day and every weekend for months after our wedding day. It was bright and sunny on our wedding day. It was simply perfect. We had quite a few glitches but weather was not one of them.

Some of the more interesting faux-pas, one of my brothers showed up an hour late. He was coming in as we were exiting.

My bride wasn’t paying attention during the exchange of vows and said something non-sensical, to which the priest gave a funny expression, ignored it and went on.

We forgot to invite Father to the reception which was held down the road in another church.

Our official wedding photograpgher lost the film to our formal photos PLUS the ones he did have were just awful. Luckily my brother in law took a boatload of photos and they were great. (he is now a pofessional wedding photograper), So even if you hire a pro, have other folks take a bunch also.
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Oh yeah…no wedding is complete without mishaps. Just accept that no matter how carefully you plan, some things will be out of your control.

-My MIL decided at the last minute that she couldn’t possible light her half of the unity candle thing (which we had put in specifically at DH’s request because his family is Protestant and his mom “likes those things”). So we wasted money on those flowers and had to reprint programs.

-SIL has the thickest hair of anyone I’ve ever seen, and at the time of the wedding, it was halfway down her back. It took two hairdressers two full hours to get it all curled and pinned up. I had to leave and get dressed at my parents’ house on my own while mom waited to drive the bridesmaids back. I couldn’t get into my petticoat without help so I ended up not wearing it at all.

-The programs never actually made it to the church until right before the wedding itself. I’m not sure most people got them. They needed them because there was major road construction en route from the church to the reception hall, resulting in a road closure and detour. We put new maps in the programs. Everyone eventually made it to the reception, so I guess it worked out.

-The rest of the wedding party kept this from us, but apparently the volunteer wedding coordinator at the parish was really rude to them and to the guests.

-It had been gorgeous weather for the week before the wedding, upper 70s, sunny, blue skies. It was cloudy and foggy on our wedding morning, and I don’t think the temps got above 60 F.

-The reception kitchen had prepared food with the assumption that a certain percentage of guests who had RSVPed to attend would not show up. Well, only two of ours ended up not coming, and we ran out of food on the buffet line before everyone was served. Fortunately, the kitchen had started cooking the next round (for seconds) and were kind enough to plate everything and personally deliver it to the tables who had missed out on the buffet line.

But…it was a good day. The church was beautiful, we DID remember to invite the priest (who said a lovely blessing over the meal), the cake was awesome, and everyone said they had fun. It always works out.
 
I’ve heard people rave about praying the Litany of Saints at their wedding.
 
To cut costs, we used this website to order our wedding invitations and thank you cards: vistaprint.com
It was a lifesaver! $30 for 100 cards? Where else can you find such a deal?
 
perez639 said:
I love ebay!!! I will have to take a look, but I worry about sizes…
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I bought my dress on ebay as well. (It was an $875 dress and I got it for $29.99). It was a floor model, so it had to be cleaned, but even with alterations, it was still right around $100. Wedding dress sizes tend to be two sizes bigger than your normal size. I don’t understand this, because almost every bride wants to be thinner or at least think she is! Anyhow, they are made to be altered, so go to a bridal shop and get your approximate size and then go from there!
 
Reading all of the stories brings back many of the mishaps of my own!
  • The priest who was going to officiate at our wedding being ill and unable to officiate.
  • Usher took my mother up the aisle when my brother was supposed to!
  • Meatballs that were for the main course (we did all the food ourselves) did not arrive until six a.m. on the morning of the wedding and the wedding started at 10 a.m.
-We ran out of meatballs anyways because the person assigned to order them ordered one pack to few.
  • My flowers, instead of being pink, were a pinkish green.
  • My friend who DJ’d thought she had the song I wanted for the father/daughter dance, and at the last minute discovered that she didn’t.
  • My Dh postponed ordering the keg of beer until he couldn’t get it and on the day of our rehearsal dinner, he locked himself out of the car.
  • My DH grandfather who had travelled to the wedding ended up in the hospital after the rehearsal dinner with pneumonia and didn’t make it to the wedding.
On the other hand, so many things went right!
  • It had rained all week until our wedding day. On our wedding day the sun shone and the sky was pure blue. Apparently, when I walked into the doors of the church, the sun shone through the windows and hit just me so that it looked like light was coming out of me or something.
  • Visiting the hospital to see DH grandfather and having all of the nurses and doctors wishing us the best! My husband was so embarrassed to have me walking through the halls in my wedding dress.
  • Crying as my Dad talked to me during our F/D dance.
  • Having one of my favorite uncle’s show up at the last minute and surprise me and toasting us in a special way.
-My maid of honor, my best friend for the last 10-15 years, toast us, though she was so nervous and had been all week!!!
  • And most of all, the beauty of our Wedding Mass and the solemnity of making our wedding vows. And then, taking flowers to Mary and consecrating ourselves and our marriage to her. An unbelievable and incredibly solemn and undescribable experience.
 
Well, I’m not married. I’m a widow and my protestant hubby blew his brains through the roof…it definutely wasn’t an extra special wedding, nor was it fun in the least. But we survived.

Peace,

Gail
 
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