What makes a girl/guy marriage material?

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BadTurkey said:
I’ve gotten to know quite a few women over the years, and my criteria for “marriage material” keep changing. So far, I’ve come up with these must-have qualities.
  1. Practicing Catholic
  2. Never married with no children, but would like to have in the future
  3. Non-smoker
  4. 4-year college
  5. Someone I’m attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Most of the women I’ve dated fit this bill, except for the college thing, but that’s discussion for another day. I’m still trying to figure out what makes someone “marriage material,” though. Any ideas?
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I strongly recommend reading two books:

  1. *]On Marriage and Family
    *]Missing from Action

    The first one is written by one of the most eloquent and prolific preachers in Christianity and the second is written by a very observant, astute and wise priest. I would consider both books to be the bare minimum reading list for men and woman considering marriage as their vocation.🙂

    In Christ,
    Andrew
 
Just to add something small in response to what Cat said-

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 1/2 years. She was raised as a “bible beater” (her own description, I’m not trying to show prejudice here), but is currently agnostic. Our relationship is wonderful in every way, but I don’t think I can marry her because we do not share the faith. I agonize over this issue daily, it is horrible. If she was Catholic I would have proposed already. There is just too much of a fundamental difference between a devout Catholic and… just about everyone else.

I know these types of relationships work for some, but I advise against them.

If I this doesn’t work out and I don’t enter the religious life, I will never date a non Catholic again.
 
Nec5 said:
I do not speak to heathens that covet Pepsi. At least, it’s not NEW coke. Remember that? If your prospective spouse enjoyed NEW coke, then bail out immediately.:eek:
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Coke, Pepsi–all are insignificant next to the golden truth of Mt. Dew.

Want proof? Go into any fast food store (7 Eleven, Road Ranger, etc.). Check out the soda shelves in the frig. The Mt. Dew section will be mostly empty. I’ve seen it happen over and over again, especially on hot days. This yellow bubbly liquid is the nectar of the gods!

(Either that, or it’s a terrorist plot to make us all fat and headachey and addicted, and then they can surge in and mow us down as we try to waddle away!)
 
  1. Serves Jesus
  2. Serves the Church
  3. Wants children. Compatibility in raising children.
Similar life goals are crucial. Anything else would be a bad investment in my opinion.

As far as the interests / hobbies, emotional and physical aspects… I don’t dare build my house on such things.
 
Nec5 said:
If your prospective spouse enjoyed NEW coke, then bail out immediately.:eek:
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This is true. If you like Coke, drink Coke. (I like Cherry Coke) If you like Pepsi, drink Pepsi (I like Pepsi) but do not drink Coke that tries to be Pepsi (new Coke)
 
OLHope said:
Hm, most of the married guys I know always say the same thing, “I knew it when I first saw her,” this didn’t particularly mean that she was drop dead gorgeous, but they did say it had something to do with a reaction they got from her, a focused glare into their eyes, or a sweet smile, or even an interesting short conversation
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Men like women who glare at them? Then why don’t I have scores of men beating down my door? 😉
 
*I guess we all have mental ‘‘lists’’ of what we consider/considered to be marriage material. Otherwise, we’d marry the first and only person we ever dated in our lives, right? lol Had to be a reason we broke up with those before our spouses (who are married here) or break up with those we don’t see a future with (if you’re dating)

I dated a lot, probably too much, back in college. Sometimes I regret it, but those dates served to weed out what I DIDN’T want in a future husband. When I met my husband, we didn’t instantly start dating right away…he was more ‘‘ready’’ than me, I was still in college, he was 31. So…we drifted apart, but when we actually began dating, I realized he was the following:

a) honest
b) strong Catholic
c) responsible
d) mature
e) weathered storms well

His scent (he always smelled good:o) and he dressed the way I like, casual, but put together…were bonuses…but, those five things, I grew to realize were non-negotiables for me to marrying someone. I think if someone has a degree, I’m not sure I would place that in the non negotiable category, but I think that could be important. I think that in general, if you find yourself questioning the person’s ethics and values that you’re dating, might be time to move on. I wasn’t all that mature when my husband and I were dating…but marriage and kids helped me to grow up. My husband said he knew he’d marry me the first night he met me. 😛 I guess his list was short :rotfl: …how on earth could he know that, upon meeting me??? 🤷 *
 
Sigh. The best Coke is not even sold in the US anymore. They give us the garbage that has high fructose corn syrup instead real sugar. I’ll take real Coke or nothing. I guess my guy must be marriage material since he takes me across the border for the Real Thing.
 
It doesn’t taste well round here, either. It doesn’t taste the same it did when I was younger.
 
toastmachines said:
  1. Serves Jesus
  2. Serves the Church
  3. Wants children. Compatibility in raising children.
Similar life goals are crucial. Anything else would be a bad investment in my opinion.

As far as the interests / hobbies, emotional and physical aspects… I don’t dare build my house on such things.
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Agreed! However I hope he would be a math calculus dork like me, and we could take a shack and build it into a home together…, love weekend projects!!
 
Maria65 said:
Men like women who glare at them? Then why don’t I have scores of men beating down my door? 😉
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Code: 
            Oh Maria, Maria, Maria!  Methods honey, just methods.  Sometimes “The Glare” is that spark that people talk about.  It can involve sa-oooh many things.  The intent from them is so vast, that I would need to teach you a 3-month course just to get the exact message across.  But yeah, work on that, and like I said in a former thread, careful being too nice.
Oh and do not glare down everyman, you have to glare down the one that you quickly skimmed the room for that pleases your eye. I mean you don’t want to make it look like they all have opportunity, right?
 
Just for this Cola record, Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola classic, CokeII, Cherry coke! Even the cherry coke zero is delish! YUM. Apparently the sugar in the original, fill it up from the waterspout fountain in Atlanta, GA plant (home of Coca-Cola) is the best, according to southerners.
 
My list, hmm, well since we all got em…
  1. Code: 
     -Catholic, non negotiable.
  2. Code: 
    -Tall (I am tall, so I need that one guy who can tower over me).
  3. Code: 
    -The upper body of a defensive linemen.
    • Handy & Strong (I like to work on projects around the home).
    • A lot of talk about smells and odors. I guess hard working masculine emanating odors are the thing for me.
  6. Code: 
    -Little/no debt (marrying into this would make me feel used and super stressed).
  7. Code: 
    -He should be able to spot a bum deal or unsympathetic people/salesmen (I do not like being taken advantage of).
  8. Code: 
    -Must love to sing!  Good or karaoke bad, doesn’t matter, just belt it out.
  9. Code: 
    -Decent sportsman, I need a good challenge.
10 -Babies!! I just started volunteering at our main Cathedrals YAMservice as a volunteer/mentor with sporadic catholic children in the area, and I LOVE them! Oh wow, how so super duper cute! I totally forgot what it was like to be near so many kids all at once.
11. -Funny or corny guy, sorry, that is the only high maintenance thing about me, I NEED entertainment.
12. -Is definitely over all his former relationships. Will also not keep contact with any of them, same consideration in return.
13. - Has had little/no sexual partners, a plus!
14. -Loves to pray together, go to church together, or talk about the homily or news in the church, global & local.
15. -Has gotten over his need/aim for a supermodel (Come on guys, you have all fantasized about it).
 
Wow! You have created quite a list there! I’ll just tell you that three years ago, I felt like I would never meet a man, let alone another young person, who loved the Catholic faith as much as I did (I am a sort of recent convert). I even discerned having a vocation to the religious life, but then, one day, I felt compelled to begin a novena asking St. Joseph to watch over my possible future husband, bless him, and bring us together soon, if it be God’s will. Within a couple weeks, seriously, I was introduced to my other half! We married within a year and will be celebrating our second anniversary in a few days. We have one child born and one on the way. We couldn’t be happier with anyone else as we truly are a match made in heaven. I didn’t have a detailed list for my perfect mate, but when I met him and learned his heart, I knew he was the one for me.

Please think about beginning your own novena to St. Joseph. And be open to who God may send your way, even if he isn’t built like a linebacker (I think that’s what you said). All that truly matters is that he shares your Faith and your dreams for your family and future. God bless.
 
OLHope said:
Oh Maria, Maria, Maria! Methods honey, just methods. Sometimes “The Glare” is that spark that people talk about. It can involve sa-oooh many things. The intent from them is so vast, that I would need to teach you a 3-month course just to get the exact message across. But yeah, work on that, and like I said in a former thread, careful being too nice.

Oh and do not glare down everyman, you have to glare down the one that you quickly skimmed the room for that pleases your eye. I mean you don’t want to make it look like they all have opportunity, right?
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😃

Yeah, OL’s right.

Note you don’t have to be a socialite to be happy. It’s vanity of vanities and all vanity.
OLHope said:
Just for this Cola record, Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola classic, CokeII, Cherry coke! Even the cherry coke zero is delish! YUM. Apparently the sugar in the original, fill it up from the waterspout fountain in Atlanta, GA plant (home of Coca-Cola) is the best, according to southerners.
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Cuba Libre is still better. 😛
OLHope said:
(Come on guys, you have all fantasized about it).
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Personally, I’m more into the princess fair archetype. 😛
 
SourGrape said:
Wow! You have created quite a list there! I’ll just tell you that three years ago, I felt like I would never meet a man, let alone another young person, who loved the Catholic faith as much as I did (I am a sort of recent convert). I even discerned having a vocation to the religious life, but then, one day, I felt compelled to begin a novena asking St. Joseph to watch over my possible future husband, bless him, and bring us together soon, if it be God’s will. Within a couple weeks, seriously, I was introduced to my other half! We married within a year and will be celebrating our second anniversary in a few days. We have one child born and one on the way. We couldn’t be happier with anyone else as we truly are a match made in heaven. I didn’t have a detailed list for my perfect mate, but when I met him and learned his heart, I knew he was the one for me.

Please think about beginning your own novena to St. Joseph. And be open to who God may send your way, even if he isn’t built like a linebacker (I think that’s what you said). All that truly matters is that he shares your Faith and your dreams for your family and future. God bless.
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Ohhh sour, I think that lists are silly, too…, and I guess he doesnt have to be that intimidating looking as I can counter that pretty well…, but I guess I was just having fun and joining the bandwagon.

I have to ask the St. Joseph Novena? Really? Why not St. Ursula or Archangel Raphael? I do not think they have novena’s…, but I was always told to pray to them for the putting together of relationships/spouses…, not sure why them, and if anything I would think the BVM over Joseph, but I guess there doesn’t have to be a hierarchy, just curious as who the best intercessor would be in this specific case. Hm.
 
chevalier said:
:cool:😃
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:bowdown::bowdown2: Too cool, Im not worthy! Im not worthy!
chevalier said:
Esto.
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MMMM bueno!! Preferitos mojitos!
chevalier said:
You see, it’s the point of an ideal that no living person can meet it! 😃

Seriously, though, not in Hollywood for sure. 😉
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Uh oh, no one could, but your imagination could run wild, like the wierd science movie, programming the perfect specimen, glad you know you have to take it down a few notches. lol

BTW, I accept Bollywood ideals.
 
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