What makes a great confessor?

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DrSharkey

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I’ve heard stories about saints like Padre Pio who would supposedly hold confessions for 24 hours or more in a row because the lines were so long. In the “Magnificat” for Jan 8th,2011, they mentioned Bl. Francis Rogaczewski, who they called and “exceptional confessor”, but didn’t actually go into any details why.

That do you think makes a good or great confessor? Is it simply that he doesn’t make you feel bad or insults you for your sins? Is the advice he gives you?

I like both our parish priests, but with nothing else to compare it to, I don’t know if they are “great confessors”.
🤷
 
In my experience, I find priests who give more ‘practical’ penance to be more helpful. I remember my first confession I was told to say five Hail Mary’s. Whilst this is a perfectly acceptable penance and I performed it, I’ve found other priests take a more ‘practical’ approach.

For example, at my last confession the priest could tell I was having trouble forgiving myself for my sins and therefore struggling to accept God’s forgiveness (I didn’t even have to say it) and my penance was to spend time praying in the cathedral and learn to accept God’s forgiveness and forgive myself. I find this sort of penance much more helpful but that’s just a personal thing.

But in the end the important thing is that you are receiving God’s forgiveness for your sins and it does not really matter who your confessor is.
 
I’ve heard stories about saints like Padre Pio who would supposedly hold confessions for 24 hours or more in a row because the lines were so long. In the “Magnificat” for Jan 8th,2011, they mentioned Bl. Francis Rogaczewski, who they called and “exceptional confessor”, but didn’t actually go into any details why.

That do you think makes a good or great confessor? Is it simply that he doesn’t make you feel bad or insults you for your sins? Is the advice he gives you?

I like both our parish priests, but with nothing else to compare it to, I don’t know if they are “great confessors”.
🤷
I don’t think that is easy to answer since a lot depends on what a person looks for in a confessor. I have had good confessors and bad ones. I think the good ones really listen to what you are saying. For example (of a bad confessor), I went to confession and after confessing my sins the priest “counseled” me on something that I didn’t even mention and nothing to do with what I confessed or even in some way related to it. Then he began to tell me about how hard it was for him in this new parish. I had another confessor who just wanted a “laundry list” and would stop me every time I tried to explain my sin (not to excuse it but to offer more information). I also don’t like confessors who don’t look at me.

For me a good confessor not only listens but picks up cues as to what might be the root of my sins (this works better face to face becuase he can pick up facial expressions and body language). He doesn’t give a standard penance (say three Hail Mary’s and a Glory Be) but really makes you connect the penance to the sin.

A good confessor does not put a person down or yell at them, but gently admonishes, challenges, and gives good advice. He also emphasises the unending Mercy of God.
 
For me, it is one who listens, is compassionate, and will give good advice pertaining to what you might be having a problem with. One not to give the standard 3 Hail Mary’s, that just reminds me of my childhood. My confessor (I use the same one all the time, he knows me better than I know myself), gives a penance that reflects on what I have done–or not done, as the case may be. We do look eye to eye for the most part; remember he is acting in persona Christi, and I find great solace in that. I had trouble forgiving someone who had already passed away. My penance was to go to the gravesite and forgive this person. It was freezing cold and windy, but it worked.

Remember though, it is the graces we receive and the forgiveness of our sins that is most important.
 

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I’ve heard stories about saints like Padre Pio who would supposedly hold confessions for 24 hours or more in a row because the lines were so long. In the “Magnificat” for Jan 8th,2011, they mentioned Bl. Francis Rogaczewski, who they called and “exceptional confessor”, but didn’t actually go into any details why.

That do you think makes a good or great confessor? Is it simply that he doesn’t make you feel bad or insults you for your sins? Is the advice he gives you?

I like both our parish priests, but with nothing else to compare it to, I don’t know if they are “great confessors”.
🤷
What makes a great confessor?

HOLINESS.
 
People line up for a great confessor, and change through the confession.

I agree that holiness, ultimately God makes one great confessor.

I other hand any confessor is an adequate device in hand of God to form us.
 
A great confessor
  1. really listens to you.
  2. takes you and your sins seriously.
  3. doesn’t have a set response to particular sins, but is open to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in each and every confession.
  4. has enough experience to understand all kinds of sins, problems, etc.
  5. has good formation in moral theology.
  6. is unbending about the teachings of the church, but compassionate at the same time.
  7. makes you feel he’s “on your side.”
  8. is optimistic.
  9. is holy.
 
A great confessor is:
  1. one who will give thoughtful penances (i.e, by meditating on a passage of Sacred Scripture and how it applies to the penitent).
  2. one who will try various penances in order to find the one that actually gets through.
  3. one who will at times give a hard penance for repeated sin (I was once told to shovel the parish walkway while it was still snowing)
  4. one who will celebrate with you after you’ve gotten out onto the other side of a sinful habit.
  5. one who will publicly announce that he is just as bad a sinner, if not worse, than you are.
  6. one who is willing to give you the sacrament of reconciliation when you show up unexpectedly.
  7. one who will whack you upside the head with a freshly-blessed Bible after finding out you’ve gotten yourself into yet another sinful habit. (partially joking on this one :))
  8. one who knows your sins before you speak them, just by the tone of your voice, who you are, and (if face to face) the direction of your eyes as you prepare to confess ("Forgive me Father, for I have sinned . . . ")
  9. one who will give you a ride to the university library and talk about the university’s Latin program after having just been in the confessional.
  10. one who prays.
 
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