What makes a priest "a good confessor"?

[JimR-OCDS]

No, as an OCDS member, we’re not required to go to specific confessors.

Jim

 

[CelticWarlord]

If you’re speaking of the original post, I don’t see a problem. No priest was mentioned by name and the quote from my brother was verbatim. If you’re talking about Father Mitch, he said it in jest exactly as I reproduced it. I’ve heard him say it many times, always to laughter from the caller and the program host. I thought it was hilarious and don’t see anything I can do to make my own post say otherwise. Please enlighten me further as to what you expect me to do.

 

[buc_fan33]

I’m referring to the seventh post in this thread, which quotes one line from the sixth post. The line you quote says,

The major one, is repeating to me what my wife spoke to him about in the confessional.

I’m asking you to modify this quote in your post. Just quote the whole thing from post #6, not simply this one line.

Pretend for a moment that you are perusing the internet and you know nothing of Fr. Pacwa’s story, as I didn’t, or maybe you have even heard it but aren’t thinking along those lines. How would you read that quote of one line, “The major one, is repeating to me what my wife spoke to him about in the confessional?”

I don’t know about you, but I would read that as you, or in this case, JimR-OCDS whom you are quoting, as accusing a priest of breaking the seal of the sacrament, probably the most serious thing you can accuse anyone of, let alone a priest. If I were just skimming this page and hadn’t read post #6, and don’t know the story, I would be scandalized. There’s no context in that quote that A) what was repeated was said outside of the confines of the sacrament, and B) it was a story.

And besides, after rereading it, Jim-OCDS certainly doesn’t portray this as a story in post #6.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I’m referring to the seventh post in this thread, which quotes one line from the sixth post. The line you quote says,

The major one, is repeating to me what my wife spoke to him about in the confessional.

Really?

what @CelticWarlord did was fine. Jim’s story reminded him of another story. That’s it. He was clear about that.

independent of any other context, is scandalous. I’m a priest and I’ve never head this story.

Fr. Mitch is pretty popular. Perhaps you are just older and aren’t around young Catholics who listen to him.

What was said, and how it was said has no problems. Someone was reminded of a quote. It’s funny.

This reminds me of a program where Father Mitch was recounting a time when he wanted to encourage the men of his then-parish to come to confession more often. It finally worked when he said, “I’m tired of getting only your wife’s side of the story”

I don’t get your issue. I read it fine.

 

[buc_fan33]

Actually, I’m in my mid 30s. I don’t have any issue with Fr. Pacwa…just don’t listen to him all that often.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Actually, I’m in my mid 30s. I don’t have any issue with Fr. Pacwa…just don’t listen to him all that often.

Many young people do. I would say a good portion of my friends and I know who he is and his funny jokes. Infact there are a few “tired” jokes about confession…the popcorn and nun one, the grannies who murder, etc.

 

[buc_fan33]

Fine…but what about the vast majority of people who aren’t aware of that? Certainly someone like Tom Brady has more followers than Fr. Pacwa, you’d agree? But the number of people in the world who have never heard of Tom Brady far, far outnumber those who have. Likewise, there are countless more people who have never heard of Fr. Mitch Pacwa, than have heard of him. And even among those who have, most probably aren’t familiar with this story. In any event, my point really has nothing whatsoever to do with Fr. Pacwa. It has everything to do with the one line that was quoted.

I don’t even fault the poster. In the grand scheme of things, it’s probably not a big deal. But, try seeing this from my perspective as a priest. Hypothetical scenario here…imagine someone walked into my confessional and celebrated the sacrament, and then we talked about his son’s upcoming hockey game. Afterwards, I casually ask the parent of another player on the team how the game went, and my penitent (completely innocently and not even accusing me of anything mind you) posts on the internet, “I mentioned to Fr. So and So in the confessional that Junior had a hockey game today. How kind of Fr. So and So to remember and ask about it.”

Again, the penitent means no harm. But, what has he inadvertently done? Inadvertently, he’s suggested I’ve broken the seal. I haven’t, for a couple of reasons. But, and this is the key point, to the average reader of his post who doesn’t have the proper context, the appearance is that I have. And that could cause a great deal of harm for me personally.

Anyway, I’m out. Have a nice day/night, depending on where you are in the world.

 

[Reuben_J]

This came up not that long ago when I asked a fellow at work if he’d met the new priest at the parish I attend and where he drops in on occasion. “Yes”, he said, “and he’s a really good confessor”. I didn’t have anything to compare this to so asked my one older brother (who converted to Catholicism nearly 40 years ago) what would make a priest a “bad” confessor. He mentioned one he had known who was very abrupt and always seemed in a hurry; "what did you do? how many times?.. three days fasting!" and you could practically hear the gavel banging down in dismissal.

So in the experiences of the many Catholic folks here, what have you had in the way of good or bad confessions?

As I often said, I have never had any problem with Confession. I would rather it short and to the point but if the priest wants to give a more detailed advice, I would appreciate it, otherwise I am just happy that I get to confess.

It is not an issue for me.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Fine…but what about the vast majority of people who aren’t aware of that? Certainly someone like Tom Brady has more followers than Fr. Pacwa, you’d agree? But the number of people in the world who have never heard of Tom Brady far, far outnumber those who have. Likewise, there are countless more people who have never heard of Fr. Mitch Pacwa, than have heard of him. And even among those who have, most probably aren’t familiar with this story. In any event, my point really has nothing whatsoever to do with Fr. Pacwa. It has everything to do with the one line that was quoted.

I don’t even fault the poster. In the grand scheme of things, it’s probably not a big deal. But, try seeing this from my perspective as a priest. Hypothetical scenario here…imagine someone walked into my confessional and celebrated the sacrament, and then we talked about his son’s upcoming hockey game. Afterwards, I casually ask the parent of another player on the team how the game went, and my penitent (completely innocently and not even accusing me of anything mind you) posts on the internet, “I mentioned to Fr. So and So in the confessional that Junior had a hockey game today. How kind of Fr. So and So to remember and ask about it.”

Again, the penitent means no harm. But, what has he inadvertently done? Inadvertently, he’s suggested I’ve broken the seal. I haven’t, for a couple of reasons. But, and this is the key point, to the average reader of his post who doesn’t have the proper context, the appearance is that I have. And that could cause a great deal of harm for me personally.

Anyway, I’m out. Have a nice day/night, depending on where you are in the world.

If someone is confused by one random post on the internet, than they have more problems than you can fix in a confessional.

 

[HolySpirit]

I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more Father Mitch fans in the world than Tom Brady fans. EWTN’s reach is pretty vast.

You can mention Mother Angelica to your average person in America, and they know who she was. Multiply that by all of the countries under the EWTN banner, and you have a lot of Father Mitch fans.

I live in New England and I volunteer my time with the local EWTN radio affiliate. People love Father Mitch. People only respect Tom Brady’s ability.

 

[LisaB]

A good confessor pushes you to be a better Catholic and takes all sin seriously, not just mortal sin. Gives good counsel that helps you advance in your spiritual life.

 

[Jump4Joy]

A good confessor listens attentively and assigns an appropriate penance

 

[OsculeturMeOsculo]

A good confessor is one that will purge vice and install virtue. Very knowledgeable in spiritual matters.

 

[CelticWarlord]

With the greatest respect, Padre, I just don’t see a problem where you see one. But I shan’t belabor it further. Peace and blessings to you, always. -CW

 

[Irishmom2]

Whether it’s a story or not, whether it’s well-known or not, this quote,

The major one, is repeating to me what my wife spoke to him about in the confessional

Fr. Mitch. On EWTN. He was speaking as himself. It’s hardly a scandal about himself or about all of the wife or husband groups he is speaking about.

 

[Spyridon]

A good confessor possesses gentleness, meekness, tenderness, faith, hope, love, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, piety and holiness, humility, orthodoxy, only judges rightly and never harshly, an ability to listen, and one who possesses the gifts of the Holy Spirit and uses them.

A bad confessor would be one prideful, judgmental, harsh, overly critical, short tempered, wilful, hardheaded, hardhearted, heterodox, or any combination of these negative characteristics.

 

[OraLabora]

Plus, a good confessor never tires of reminding us of the infinite mercy of God, when we feel despair at never overcoming sin. We only have to ask for it… in confession,

Despair is Satan’s tool. Hope and confidence in God’s mercy are what a good confessor dispenses.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

A big problem I have at my parish, which was created by the former pastor, is that he placed a tombstone right outside of the front door entrance to the church, which reads, “In Remembrance of Victims of Abortion.”

So, a woman who had an abortion when she was young, but now has a conversion and goes to Confession, will be reminded of her sin over and over every time she goes to Mass.

This shows a lack of mercy and forgiveness toward her, by the Church.

Jim

 

[babochka]

This shows a lack of mercy and forgiveness toward her, by the Church.

No, it shows a lack of sensitivity toward a particular issue that some people might struggle with. That is not a lack of mercy and forgiveness.

 

[Canvas]

I live in Maryland and Tom Brady is about as popular as a hedgehog on a waterbed 'round these parts.