What makes a priest "a good confessor"?

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Canvas said:
I live in Maryland
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I live in western Canada, but we have a Maryland flag atop the pole in our front yard right now. As home to one leg of the Triple Crown, your flag sees service at our house for two weeks every May. 🙂
 
Awesome! This year, the tv broadcast was terrible because of the monsoon we had last week. It rained for days in a row. That is why the track looked like something an elder generation of Canadians might have encountered around Ypres. At some points, you could hardly see the horses in the fog and rain.
 
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This may be a dumb question, but I thought a “confessor” was someone who was either jailed or martyred because they refused to recant their faith, but rather confessed it publicly under persecution. Am I incorrect?
 
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The wager in our house is not whether or not Justify will win all three (I’m saying not) but whether all three races will be rained/fogged in. 🙂
 
The Parish represents the Church.

The pastor made the wrong decision placing the tombstone at the entrance of the church.

Jim
 
A good confessor. One who actually listens to you, not sits there thinking up his next rebuttal or “counsel.” I see an arrogance in a number of young priests today believing that their way is the only way. They have one view, it is unquestionably right, and they don’t deviate. When I encounter one of these guys, I keep it simple, short, and don’t volunteer any unnecessary information or my opinion or understanding of the nature of an action being confessed.
 
The vast majority of confessors I’ve had have been good confessors.

One priest got annoyed and lectured me once in the last couple years. I started to cry and promised to never do the sin again so he stopped lecturing, absolved me and sent me on my way. Oddly, or maybe not oddly, I haven’t committed the sin since that experience, so while this was not a great experience for me, perhaps his reaction was good for me. Padre Pio got annoyed at people too from time to time.

One priest tried to kind of move things along when I was confessing something very emotional and having a hard time with it. He had a line of people trying to confess so I do understand, but his style didn’t jive with mine. I was trying to get done as fast as possible and not take too much time (I define “too much time” as being “over 5 minutes”), but he threw me off track. That wasn’t a great experience. It doesn’t make him a “bad confessor” but I wouldn’t go to him again.

A “bad confessor” to me would be one who didn’t listen, said something inappropriate (like using my real name when I’m behind the screen) or did the Absolution wrong.
I cannot recall ever having a “bad confessor”.
 
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JimR-OCDS said:
The Parish represents the Church.

The pastor made the wrong decision placing the tombstone at the entrance of the church.
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That is very possibly true, but it still doesn’t show a lack of mercy and a lack of forgiveness toward her. Poor judgment and insensitivity are different matters.
 
It shows a lack of understanding for the sinner who is forgiven.

Imagine if your sins were posted at the entrance of the church when you go to Mass ?

Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
It shows a lack of understanding for the sinner who is forgiven.

Imagine if your sins were posted at the entrance of the church when you go to Mass ?

Jim
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My sins are occasionally talked about in homilies and the teaching of the church is clear.

If a priest preaches about sins that are confessed and in my past, it does not bother me. If a priest talks about sins that are current and/or unconfessed, I pray that it will prick my conscience and bring me to repentance.

I really don’t understand at all how publicly and visibly praying for the victims of abortion shows unforgiveness and lack of mercy toward the person who committed the sin.
 
Sean77 said:
This may be a dumb question, but I thought a “confessor” was someone who was either jailed or martyred because they refused to recant their faith, but rather confessed it publicly under persecution. Am I incorrect?
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As someone mentioned, we are using it here in the meaning of “a priest who hears people’s confessions”.

“Confessor” is also the term historically used to denote any saint who was not martyred. For example, today is the feast of Saint Bede, a monk who wrote theology and history and preached about scripture. He was not persecuted as he lived in a time and place when the faith was accepted, and he died a natural death as an old man. He is called “St. Bede, Confessor.”

Your definition above is not correct in that context because many confessors weren’t persecuted, and many saints who confessed their faith publicly under persecution were martyred and are thus called “Martyrs” rather than “Confessors”.
 
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JimR-OCDS said:
A big problem I have at my parish, which was created by the former pastor, is that he placed a tombstone right outside of the front door entrance to the church, which reads, “In Remembrance of Victims of Abortion.”

So, a woman who had an abortion when she was young, but now has a conversion and goes to Confession, will be reminded of her sin over and over every time she goes to Mass.

This shows a lack of mercy and forgiveness toward her, by the Church.

Jim
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What has this got to do with the topic of being a good confessor?
Nothing.
And there are literally dozens of places to go to confession. I’m sure if the woman really felt repentant she could find a place to confess where she wouldn’t have to see a memorial that she doesn’t like, although it would be better if she were able to accept both her sin and God’s mercy and simply say a prayer when she passed the memorial.
The victims deserve respect too.
And when it comes to statues, memorials etc at churches, we don’t get to “have it our way” all the time.
 
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I believe the term came about in the third century during the Decian persecution because those people who had lapsed would approach those who were jailed and awaiting sentence to confess their failure asking them to absolve them for denying their faith. It was sort of a Charismatic Movement. I want to say this would lead to the schism with the Donatists and Novatianists.
 
From Wikipedia:
The title Confessor, the short form of Confessor of the Faith, is a title given by the Christian Church to a type of saint.

Western Christianity
In the Roman Catholic Church, the title is given to male saints and blesseds who were not martyred. Historically, the title Confessor was given to those who had suffered persecution and torture for the faith but not to the point of martyrdom. As Christianity emerged as the dominant religion in Europe by the fifth century, persecutions became rare, and the title was given to male saints who lived a holy life and died in peace. Perhaps the best-known individual associated with the title is the English king St. Edward the Confessor. It is possible for Confessors to have another title or even two other titles, for example, Bishop and Confessor; Pope and Confessor; or Bishop, Confessor, and Doctor of the Church, among others: St Jerome is known as Priest, Confessor, Theologian, Historian and Doctor of the Church.

Eastern Christianity
In the Eastern Orthodox Church, the title Confessor refers to a saint (male or female) who has suffered for the faith (usually torture, but also other types of loss), but not to the point of death, and thus is distinguished from a martyr. A confessor who is also a priest or bishop is referred to as hiero-confessor.
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Sins in general are sometimes talked about in the homily.

But this is an “in your face,” tombstone to remind the woman of her sin.

She’s supposed to have been forgiven in Confession and has turned her life around, but the pastor wants to be sure these women receive a proverbial flogging every time the come to church.

Mercy and forgiveness are just words for them.

Jim
 
It has to do with women who have been to Confession, but that confessor has chosen to place a reminder of their sin.

So much for her sins being forgiven and not held against her everytime she enters the church.

There is no defense for this, so don’t bother trying.

Jim
 
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