What mishaps have you seen in church?

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When I was a teenager at my old parish we had a little incident in the choir one Sunday. The church was a more contemporary design with the choir on a small elevated area in the corner of the church to the left of the main altar. There were microphones that hung down from the ceiling for amplification purposes. Right after the consecration one of the elderly women in the choir right in front of me broke wind which held on for like 4-5 seconds. Somehow one of the mic’s picked it up and relayed it to the nave of the church. Then proceeded to watch a large portion of the congregation try to maintain reverence by holding in laughter. To top this off, the little old lady (directly in front of me) was completely oblivious.
 
Eternal rest grant unto that priest, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon him.
May he rest in peace.
May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, by the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.
 
Oh I forgot about this one. This takes place around 3 years ago in a second church I was singing at for the EF mass. Here the choir loft was in the traditional position. Was a muggy summer day with the windows open. We began to sing the recessional when a cicada got in somehow and flew right by my face. Not only did I stop singing but I dropped my hymnal over the ledge of the choir loft. Luckily I was directly over an empty pew. The organist somehow kept it together enough to finish the recessional but was turning as red as a tomato with tears running down his cheeks.
 
Regarding fainting in church: I’ve never fainted but came close or otherwise had an episode of one sort or another in Mass because of my PTSD. I believe the devil does his best during Mass to mess with me and others who have certain mental/emotional issues. He’s mean that way. 😣
 
This wasn’t at Mass, but I would assume she does it. there too, but a lady who is (was?) in my old Bible Study used to fart every time she’d stand up from a sitting position.
 
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I haven’t read this yet, but I know everyone has seen it and laughed.

You are in Mass.
To the side, you see a toddler running up the aisle and giggling followed by some young parent trying their best to be unnoticed.

I had the pleasure or watching this take place with one special variation.
The toddler was yelling out “I’m free!” As he ran.
 
When my first son was baptized he leaked on his baptismal outfit… and the priest. Also, his godparents.
 
I used to get anxiety in church also, though it was not to the level of PTSD. It was uncomfortable enough to make it a struggle for me to attend church for a few years. Thankfully I’ve gotten rid of it. You have my sympathy.
 
I went to a wedding once where the priest had a service dog. The dog would sit to the side in the front row of the pews in a designated spot during the Mass. He came in with the procession and veered off to his spot when Father stepped into the sanctuary and re-joined the recessional behind the priest when Mass was ended and he stepped into the nave.
 
I’ve seen the Host dropped.

When I was young, the bells they rang at communion got accidentally kicked across the floor at a high mass. Too many priests spoil the traffic flow . . .
 
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vz71 said:
How many have a priest that incorporates the inevitable cell phone ringing into the homily?
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We had a priest who once answered a phone call during his homily. Then after a few minutes he revealed it was staged, and segued into a point discussing appropriate behavior during Mass.
 
When I carried a cell-phone I got a call during Mass. My ring-tone was a short bit of Gregorian Chant. Somehow, people didn’t mind it as much as other ring-tones.
 
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Sometimes those toddlers are quicker than the parents. Mine certainly is. I frequently send my older kids after the runaway toddler. Sometimes it is best to sit back for a minute or two and hope the kid wanders back than to give everyone a hilarious show in which the toddler stays just out of reach of the chasing parent. I gave one such show last Sunday.
 
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I can see a little bit of wandering for a small child that age, but when the baby is wandering so far that she goes around the corner into another room out of sight, it seems dangerous for the child. Deacon must have thought so too when he came down the aisle to see where baby had gone. The particular Mass had many, many families with children so no one was really disturbed by this little girl, I was mostly concerned for her welfare.
 
Wow. I will admit that I’ve had my share of dizzy spells while fasting, but it must be terrible to be distracted by that heat during Mass. Luckily here in the south, most parishes, even old ones, are now equipped with A/C. And we’re not shy to turn it on! 🤣
 
  1. “A reading from the letter of St. Paul to the Filipinos”
  2. When I was an altar boy many years ago, apparently the incense charcoal was not fully lit, so when the priest added incense to the thurible, nothing came out
  3. At the Mass following our pre-Cana class, the priest was gradually becoming ill. Eventually he stepped back into the sacristy and we all heard the poor man violently retching. Thankfully, this was following the liturgy of the Eucharist. The parish RE director was in attendance and he finished the Mass, limping through.
 
I’ve always heard stories like that. I have been altar serving for 6+ years, with the last 3 as a head server/Master of Ceremonies, and have never seen one of these in person. it’s sad to hear.
 
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