What my Priest told me in Confession-this cant be right can it!?

  • Thread starter Thread starter MaeganFlinchum1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
MaeganFlinchum1 said:
In my last Confession my priest told me it is not a sin to put myself on an o ccasion of sin.and he also told me i just have to confess the ‘kind’ of sin not the number. For example: if i have been prideful 7 times i just go to Confession and confess: ive been prideful. And thats it. Is that right?i dont enjoy not trusting my confessor, but i have always heard u hav to confess number and kind (not just number) and u hav to avoid all near occasions of sin.
Thanks!
Click to expand...
First of all, given your scrupulous posting patterns, it is imperative that you believe and obey your confessor unconditionally. Do not second-guess him, and especially do not seek out second opinions from strangers on the Internet as the variety of answers, a lot of which could easily be wrong will not do anything for your scrupulosity.

As for his comments, he probably only asked you to confess the kind and not the number because he deems your sins to be venial, which do not require confession in number. And yes, one must avoid the voluntary near occasion of sin; that’s part of firm resolve not to sin again.
 
porthos11 said:
First of all, given your scrupulous posting patterns, it is imperative that you believe and obey your confessor unconditionally. Do not second-guess him, and especially do not seek out second opinions from strangers on the Internet as the variety of answers, a lot of which could easily be wrong will not do anything for your scrupulosity.

As for his comments, he probably only asked you to confess the kind and not the number because he deems your sins to be venial, which do not require confession in number. And yes, one must avoid the voluntary near occasion of sin; that’s part of firm resolve not to sin again.
Click to expand...
Ditto that. I was just going to say be obedient to the priest. If you don’t understand or agree with what he says, then ask him for clarification. He knows what he is doing.
 
MaeganFlinchum1 said:
What about this situation (which im concerned with): i sit with a boy at school and we are like best friends but i tend to end up sinning all the time around him. But im afraid it would be kinda abrupt to just move and not sit wirh him. Maybe even hurt his feelings. But i dont want to sin. There are only a few more days of school anyway. So should i just stay there and try not to sin?
Click to expand...
You may wish to make an appointment with a priest outside the confessional to get clear what sin actually is. What I am hearing sounds like it is a drifting towards scrupulosity.

It is the province of the confessor to determine whether or not one has committed a serious sin; from the details you give, your confessor has determined that you are not committing serious sin. And if you are drifting towards scrupulosity, you may not be committing any sin at all.

Part of the problem with scrupulosity is not trusting the advice of the confessor. Your example about the boy you like is part of what leads me to concern about your ability to determine what is actually sinful, and what is not. I really don’t want more information - TMI now - but what I hear sounds like a serious over-reaction.

I am not suggesting that one should not look carefully at one’s actions and choices; a sloppy conscience is an insult to God and to ourselves. But a scrupulous conscience is a terrible burden. Please speak to your priest outside the confessional to get some spiritual direction and help. And listen carefully - he is trained in this and you are not.
 
Maegan, don’t you have a problem with scrupulosity? If that’s so, then LISTEN TO YOUR PRIEST AND FOLLOW HIS INSTRUCTIONS. He is trying to help you. Discussing your confession with a bunch of strangers on the Internet is not a good way to go. If you question his advice, then talk with him and ask him to clarify.
 
MaeganFlinchum1 said:
What about this situation (which im concerned with): i sit with a boy at school and we are like best friends but i tend to end up sinning all the time around him. But im afraid it would be kinda abrupt to just move and not sit wirh him. Maybe even hurt his feelings. But i dont want to sin. There are only a few more days of school anyway. So should i just stay there and try not to sin?
Click to expand...
Megan, you are never allowed to place yourself in the near or proximate occasion of commiting a mortal sin. That in itself would be a serious sin. If this boy is such an occasion of sin you must stay away from him. At your age however I wonder if you are not confusing serious and venial or just temptations. I’m not saying it would be impossible but it seems unlikely. From the past I seem to remember you had a tendency to be scrupulous. Remember that a serious sin must involve serious matter, you must know it is serious and you must give full consent of the will - you aren’t dreaming or asleep or unconscious. Linus2nd
 
Ok thanks for all the advice. Im gonna ask him and tthen try to obey him. Pray for me! 😃 This scrupulosity thing is not easy! 😦
 
Linusthe2nd said:
Megan, you are never allowed to place yourself in the near or proximate occasion of commiting a mortal sin. That in itself would be a serious sin. If this boy is such an occasion of sin you must stay away from him.
Click to expand...
I would suggest that for this particular poster, say nothing that could be construed as contradicting her confessor. At this point (and you can review her posts), her scrupulosity is at a really bad place and she should not be subjected to anything that can potentially confuse her. She has only one authority in matters of sin: her confessor and no one else.

I agree though, that it’s highly unlikely that sitting next to a boy in a public place like a classroom constitutes a near occasion of sin for anyone. I’m even willing to bet that the what she thinks of as “sins” are not sins at all. But again, this is for her to discuss with her confessor, not here.
 
MaeganFlinchum1 said:
He told me my Confessions take too long. Which they are.
Click to expand...
If you are confessing mortal sins (and therefore must confess each specific type of mortal sin, with the number of times you committed it since your last good confession) and it takes too long, you are probably not going to confession frequently enough!

If you are only confessing venial sins, not only do you not need to confess how many times you committed each specific type of venial sin, you do not need to confess every different venial sin you committed since your last confession. Just concentrate on the prevalent ones (the ones that you find yourself committing over and over again).

Confessions should not take a long time. If you are finding yours taking more than a few minutes, you should take an objective look at how you are confessing. You should not be giving any long involved stories about how you came to commit any specific sin. Just say what you did, and, if mortal, how many times to the best of your remembrance. Sometimes, when you are concentrating on overcoming a particular weakness, even if it is a venial sin, it can be useful to say how many times you did it since your last confession - for instance, if you find yourself to be particularly impatient, it can be good to say how many times you fell. In this way you may be able to see if you are beginning to succeed in overcoming impatience, or are getting worse.
 
being in a near occasion of sin isn’t a sin.

for example lets say you have a drinking problem, for you it would be a near occasion of sin to go to a bar, or go to a party where you know there is lots of drinking. But if you controlled yourself and drank responsibly you would be in the clear. But if you drank a lot you would sin.
 
Joan_M said:
If you are confessing mortal sins (and therefore must confess each specific type of mortal sin, with the number of times you committed it since your last good confession) and it takes too long, you are probably not going to confession frequently enough!

If you are only confessing venial sins, not only do you not need to confess how many times you committed each specific type of venial sin, you do not need to confess every different venial sin you committed since your last confession. Just concentrate on the prevalent ones (the ones that you find yourself committing over and over again).

Confessions should not take a long time. If you are finding yours taking more than a few minutes, you should take an objective look at how you are confessing. You should not be giving any long involved stories about how you came to commit any specific sin. Just say what you did, and, if mortal, how many times to the best of your remembrance. Sometimes, when you are concentrating on overcoming a particular weakness, even if it is a venial sin, it can be useful to say how many times you did it since your last confession - for instance, if you find yourself to be particularly impatient, it can be good to say how many times you fell. In this way you may be able to see if you are beginning to succeed in overcoming impatience, or are getting worse.
Click to expand...
I go every saturday. I went last saturday and the Priest told me to not so any numbers. That even if the sin was mortal i did not have to. So i didnt. So it went a lot quicker.
 
porthos11 said:
First of all, given your scrupulous posting patterns, it is imperative that you believe and obey your confessor unconditionally. Do not second-guess him, and especially do not seek out second opinions from strangers on the Internet as the variety of answers, a lot of which could easily be wrong will not do anything for your scrupulosity.

As for his comments, he probably only asked you to confess the kind and not the number because he deems your sins to be venial, which do not require confession in number. And yes, one must avoid the voluntary near occasion of sin; that’s part of firm resolve not to sin again.
Click to expand...
this
 
it occurred to me ,if people post anything other than “do what your confessor says” are they sinning?
 
porthos11 said:
I would suggest that for this particular poster, say nothing that could be construed as contradicting her confessor. At this point (and you can review her posts), her scrupulosity is at a really bad place and she should not be subjected to anything that can potentially confuse her. She has only one authority in matters of sin: her confessor and no one else.

I agree though, that it’s highly unlikely that sitting next to a boy in a public place like a classroom constitutes a near occasion of sin for anyone. I’m even willing to bet that the what she thinks of as “sins” are not sins at all. But again, this is for her to discuss with her confessor, not here.
Click to expand...
wow,the best and most charitable post on scrupulosity that i’ve read ,thank you .
 
MaeganFlinchum1 said:
I go every saturday. I went last saturday and the Priest told me to not so any numbers. That even if the sin was mortal i did not have to. So i didnt. So it went a lot quicker.
Click to expand...
Excellent. Keep doing as your confessor says and God bless you!
 
april32010 said:
it occurred to me ,if people post anything other than “do what your confessor says” are they sinning?
Click to expand...
I guess so.

only if what the confessor said is contrary to the faith and just bad advice but usually I doubt that is the case.
 
april32010 said:
it occurred to me ,if people post anything other than “do what your confessor says” are they sinning?
Click to expand...
No. Unfortunately, today there are far too many priests who have not had good formation while in the seminary and quite frequently their guidance is just not good. Sometimes we have to shop around to find a good priest. Of course, we can also shop the other way - look for a priest that will excuse us from everything!

We each have the responsibility to educate ourselves about the faith and then follow it. Too often lay people have no idea what is mortal sin and what is venial sin - not just scrupulous people. Without good faith formation and conscience formation we are making things really difficult for ourselves.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top