What my Priest told me in Confession-this cant be right can it!?

[EasterJoy]

No!

You have probably not read the whole thread. The OP is scrupulous. The only advice is for her to listen to her confessor and follow his instructions. Those instructions are not intended for other people – especially total strangers on an Internet forum. But they are intended for her.

It is reasonable to say that she should not flatly correct her confessor, particularly since we of course are only hearing some fraction of half of the story.

It is also reasonable for her to ask her confessor why, if canon law says that she is to confess the number when confessing a grave sin, that she is not supposed to do so with him. Is it only because it is with him, because he knows he has told her not to give the number because he has the intention of asking the number if he wants to know, or does he have some other reason for telling her this?

She can ask him this outside of confession, so as to not take too much time while others are waiting. It is possible, though, to conclude that a certain priest is not dispensing the sacrament as proscribed by the Church, and to choose a different confessor on that account. With such a specific problem, however, and especially when one is afflicted with scruples, it is worth having a conversation with the priest about it. Physicians do not always practice out of a book, it is like that with confessors, too, and rightly so.

 

[catholictiger]

Not just that, but we’re insulated by the OP both by the forum itself as well as space, that is, we do not know her as well as her confessor. Further, we do not know her confessor, which means it is for us to always presume he knows what he’s doing, and from what I see with my limited vision, he’s doing the right thing for this particular penitent, the OP.

This reinforced the need for scrupulous people like the OP to just stop asking “this this a sin” type questions on these forums and stick solely to her confessor. The priest is NOT wrong; it’s just that he knows better than the OP herself, hence, his instructions.

This is most likely because Maegan’s scrupulosity is actually rendering her unable to properly discern mortal sin, causing her to see it where none exists or where it’s only venial. I can easily see that the priest is not telling Maegan to break Church law, but rather, he sees that she is NOT guilty of mortal sin at all despite her protests to the contrary. That’s why the post above that just declared the priest “wrong” was imprudent and potentially spiritually harmful for the OP, because no matter what, the only proper advice for her is, again, obey, obey and obey her confessor unconditionally.

I agree

but In general it is always good to have a fall back priests for situations that may come up with other clergy members that you feel uneasy about.

Plus if you have a spiritual director I would only suggest going to confession with him. (assuming he is a priest of course)

It is best to keep a constant spiritual director because he can then lead you more effectively out of sin and into holiness.

 

[porthos11]

It is reasonable to say that she should not flatly correct her confessor, particularly since we of course are only hearing some fraction of half of the story.

It is also reasonable for her to ask her confessor why, if canon law says that she is to confess the number when confessing a grave sin, that she is not supposed to do so with him. Is it only because it is with him, because he knows he has told her not to give the number because he has the intention of asking the number if he wants to know, or does he have some other reason for telling her this?

She can ask him this outside of confession, so as to not take too much time while others are waiting. It is possible, though, to conclude that a certain priest is not dispensing the sacrament as proscribed by the Church, and to choose a different confessor on that account. With such a specific problem, however, and especially when one is afflicted with scruples, it is worth having a conversation with the priest about it. Physicians do not always practice out of a book, it is like that with confessors, too, and rightly so.

I agree

but In general it is always good to have a fall back priests for situations that may come up with other clergy members that you feel uneasy about.

Plus if you have a spiritual director I would only suggest going to confession with him. (assuming he is a priest of course)

It is best to keep a constant spiritual director because he can then lead you more effectively out of sin and into holiness.

By all means, let her ask, but let her ask her confessor (or as tiger says, spiritual director if she has one). She should not ask here, and outside of us telling her to obey her confessor, there is nothing else we should say or advise her. What we know is good, solid information, but it’s good only for people with NORMAL consciences. The scrupulous should bring her concerns or questions only to the confessor and follow only his instructions and no one else’s. Knowing what we know of Maegan, but nothing of her confessor, except what she tells us, we MUST make the presumption that this priest is a good, orthodox priest giving her solid advice based on what he knows of her (which we don’t). I don’t believe that advising a person as scrupulous as Maegan (just review her posting history) to shop for confessors is the best thing for her.