What options are there for a married man?

[Iheartcoffee]

If I were you I would join Knights of Columbus or whatever men’s society is available first. That way you would be around lots of men that are active in their faith and you will probably find a lot of resources and support for the searching you are doing. You might even find another man that is having the same call.

Don’t rule out the possibility that you may be called to raise a child with a vocation to religious life. Maybe wires are just being crossed and you are interpreting this as your own call?

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Above quote referee to Opus Dei.

I would not push the OP in this direction if he is seriously considering the diaconate. The opus dei do not currently include the permanent diaconate in their structure (so far as I know).
They teach a clear separation between the clergy and laity, which might discourage a member from exploring this vocation.

That’s not to suggest that they would have nothing to offer, just that seeking membership in this organisation does not sound like what the OP was looking for. They do provide services and spiritual formation for non members.

What are you talking about? I was referring to the poster who told him he should be faithful to his current vocation, marriage and fatherhood, and dedicating his efforts to that.

 

[drforjc]

How about trying to be an even better husband and father.
In your married state, your first responsibility is to your wife and children. Don`t become spiritually over-enthusiastic.

Now for the flak.

Not necessarily flak, but a couple of comments:

First, activity in Third Orders, KC’s, etc., is not necessarily opposed to being a better father, spouse, etc. In fact, by deepening one’s spirituality the former may actually contribute to the latter. It would depend on a number of factors.

Second, we can’t assume that the OP is not already trying to do this and is not being called to something above and beyond.

 

[MrTambourineMan]

Love your family. Remain faithful to the Church, and be with Jesus forever in Heaven. There are no options unless, God forbid, your wife were to pass (which I hope you wouldn’t wish for!).

 

[Oneofthewomen]

That’s great! Jesus is always calling us to do more, to be more, for His glory and the good of our neighbor and ourselves. It’s wonderful that His call made you perk up your ears!

If you really are perceiving a call to the permanent diaconate, you might want to call your diocese’s vocation director (that person is usually a priest,) and seek out his recommendations for what to do for the next seven or eight years. He might suggest some spiritual preparation, some course work, or some parish-based ministry that would put you in a good position to enter formation. In any case, he could help you out with the discernment process.

If you haven’t done so, I’d really suggest finding a spiritual director who is versed in the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. There is a whole section of these Exercises devoted to discernment, particularly discernment of state of life and the call of Christ. The Exercises can be done as a week-long retreat, or even in what is known as the 19th Annotation, meaning done as a structured series of exercises on your own with periodic consultation with your spiritual director.

I agree whole-heartedly with everything odile53 says here.
Regarding what I highlighted- I highly recommend seeking out the 19th Annotation. It is a very “do-able” retreat, even for a busy father,
if you make the time. My experience was a a shock at first, an hour of prayer a day and meeting 2 hours a week for teaching and spiritual direction sessions, in addition to what I already did, it was daunting, and
THE SINGLE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE! :getholy:
“The Exercises” literally changed my life and still help me today in discerning what God is calling me to.
Peace be with you on your journey!

 

[drforjc]

Love your family. Remain faithful to the Church, and be with Jesus forever in Heaven. There are no options unless, God forbid, your wife were to pass (which I hope you wouldn’t wish for!).

Have you even read any of the other posts??

 

[MrTambourineMan]

Have you even read any of the other posts??

Well of course there is the permanent diaconate, and numerous lay positions. I was talking specifically about priesthood. Sorry to be confusing.