What path to confession?

  • Thread starter Thread starter YourNameHere
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Y

YourNameHere

Guest
As I am contemplating going back to confession after a 40-plus year absence, I am trying to decide what course I should take in getting there.
Should I seek the advice and counsel from my parish priest or go to a different parish to gain advice from a priest.
Or should I just go to confession at my local parish or to a different parish.
I do have some reservations about confessing a lot of mortal sins to my local parish priest. He seems to be a good guy, but I am not sure if I could look him in the face again after a long confession of my sins.
Yes, I know I have heard all of the good words on this message board about the priest not being there to be judgmental. But in my mind, I think the guilt will linger.
Also, should I confess my sins in an open confessional or with a screen separating me from the priest. It has been a long time since I last confessed my sins. There were no options 40 years ago. You just went into the confessional closet and waited for the priest to slide the screen shield open.
 
Make sure you make a great examination of conscience. You can find this online. In the examine go over 10 years of your life at a time. Make sure you are contrite of your sins and have fear of God and faith in God. Make sure to the best of your knowledge you tell all your mortal sins in name and number. Be specific.

Personally I wouldnt worry about going to the local priest. You are not the first person to return to the confession after many years. I would do face to face and make an appointment other wise if there is a long line you may anger the people in back of you.

God Bless, Im so happy you are going!
 
go to a different parish! rest assured that priests are to have “divine amnesia”, but we are human and humanity lingers in our essence … go to a neighboring or further parish. Now, you’re talking about what we call a “general confession” and sometimes could need special handling … imagine there is a confessional time from 3:00-3:30, you get there and there is a line to the door, there is no way the priest can hear all those confessions in a half hour. General confessions tend to take longer, and a good one, the priest will facilitate and encourage the penitent. Suggestion, call the local parish and ask for an appointment for a general confession. Trust in the infinite mercy of God and put your feet back on the narrow path.

Guilt will linger, regret will linger, situations that may have brought about because of the sins … that and all associated things with the “negative” is the temporal nature of the sin. The spiritual nature of the sin, within the proper bounds of the sacrament of reconciliation, the sins are forgiven, done deal, over with, God will not hold those transgressions against you and restore your Sanctifying Grace.

Examine your conscience through prayer. Jot them down on a note pad (destroy the notepad after confession LOL!!!), if not, just try to remember them all, especially during your examination and reflection, that is sort of the private, pre-confession. In the confessional, you’re sure to be nervous, I practice reconciliation regularly, and I get nervous regularly, so no worries on that, practically everyone does, I would be concerned if we were NOT nervous!

If you’re sorry for your sins, say so. If you’re not sure if you’re sorry for your sins, say you’re sorry for not being sure about being sorry! If you’ve forgotten to mention anything, say, “For those sins that I have forgotten to mention but thought of during my examination, please forgive me”

If you can’t tell, reconciliation is one of my favorite sacraments.

May the Spirit guide you on your path to Christ.
 
I’ll second that you shouldn’t have any worry about confessing to your parish’s pastor, but feel free to go to the next parish if that’ll make it easierfor you to confess.
And personally, I would probably want a face-to-face in your situation, but what you’re comfortable with is good too.
If you make an appointment, the priest will have more time to direct you (probably face-to-face) and as you’ve been away from confession, you will probably find that direction useful.
With a regularly scheduled time you have the option of a screen, but usually not a lot of time due to the lines there are. With a regularly scheduled time there’s often a mention of X o’clock to Y o’clock or until all are heard and if you live near two parishes I would guess they have the priests to do that. Of you’re worried about taking a long time at a scheduled time, you might put yourself at the end of the line, but remember that the confession time is for confessions so you’re welcome to go then.

It’s great that you’re coming back to confession. I wish you the best of luck in getting to it. If you’re nervous, that’s okay. Just know that confession is worth it.
 
YourNameHere said:
As I am contemplating going back to confession after a 40-plus year absence
Click to expand...
Stop contemplating, stop procrastinating. Just go do it. The smoke of the devil, that has been the beat of your drum through your youth and adult life is stopping you going.

The smoke of the devil is throwing up all these ridiculous what ifs.

Just go. Go today.

The Priest to whom you confess doesn’t matter . There will be nothing they haven’t heard before.

And they stand in persona Christi, Jesus is there.
 
Last edited:
Which priest to confess to and whether to confess behind the screen is entirely up to you. I would talk to a priest beforehand about any questions that you have. He will welcome you back. Make an examination of conscience and go.
 
I pray that the Holy Spirit provides the impetuous to call my church office to request a consult with a priest about confession. And then to help me to have the memory to remember as many sins as I can in order to make a good confession. I know I am going to forget some and then remember later. I have always been awkward when it comes to making a confession. I get stressed out. I get tongue-tied. And I get emotional. It is so very tough.
 
YourNameHere said:
And then to help me to have the memory to remember as many sins as I can in order to make a good confession. I know I am going to forget some and then remember later.
Click to expand...
You might consider writing them down on a piece of paper to aid memory and destroy it post-confession.
 
I am not sure if I have that much paper. I know I will need more than one pen. 😀
Pray for me. Thanks in advance.
 
You know what, stop focussing on remembering the sins of four decades. It’s going to be impossible. Write the ones you know, like for example

Theft, adultery, violence, etc . You know, the easy to know 10 Commandments.

Make that appointment right now. And afterwards, go to your list writing.

Let the priest guide you. There is no way you will be able to remember or even recognise all sins. The Sacrament of Reconcilliation gives us this grace, to recognise our sins, the more we attend.

Just go!

It won’t be awkward. You will be meeting God and coming home after a 40 year absence. You should plan a celebration for yourself afterwards.
 
Last edited:
I said a Rosary for you to go back. Since you are still having these worries, I will say another one for you today, hopefully give you another little push.

I can tell you really want to go but you’re just nervous. This is why I myself just got it overwith as soon as possible, like a needed trip to the dentist. If I’d had to go through the rigmarole of making a phone call and setting up an appointment and worrying about it, it would have taken me another month if not more.

Not to dissuade you from your approach of wanting to have a chat with a priest. But just remember, there are confessionals open all over town especially on Saturday if you just decide to cut to the chase. You can still have the talk with the priest later on.
 
Well essentially the choice is yours. I suggest praying a lot. There’s a lot of good YouTube guides for confession and Fr Mike is good (on YouTube) find a examen of conscience suitable for your state in life online and note down the worst of the sins and pray… read psalm 51 and that helps put you in the mood. Don’t worry what you forget to say or saying all your sins in one go etc. just start with the big ones. My priest told me that first time…let God lead as to which ones to say when. I had time away from the church and had to come back after a long period of time so I know kind of where you are at. I will share my experience if it helps. I went to my parish priest cos it’s not going to be one confession and boom you are done, there are going to be several over the years til you feel you have the worst of them out. I don’t only mean mortal, I mean venial too. Trust God to lead you and remember the priest acts for Jesus here so he will lead you. I considered it hard enough just to go to my local parish and thought a dose of humility might help me. It’s true the priest doesn’t remember your sins. I know other priests now and it really is. Also remember they do the same thing with their sins to other priests. The priest said to me ‘welcome home’ yep he had to put up with me sobbing, several times. Poor guy, he was wonderful, going to him was the best thing I ever did. He was not judgemental at all and he really was ‘in persona Christi’ and I remember that hymn that says ’ I turned from his presence, walked other ways, other paths. But in the dark of my shame, I called on his name and his mercy was as gentle as silence’. So true. Don’t worry about a few seconds of embarrassment, offer them to God for your redemption. Look at the floor if you like, or use the screen but go. My parish priest was awesome and gentle and so kind. I’ll pray for you too.
 
Last edited:
Father Mike videos are good.
I did read and pray Psalms 51 today.
I pray for the Holy Spirit to help me today and that the Priest helps me through the confession.
I think I may try to make a list. I tend to work better from a script.
The biggest struggle I have is just getting to the confessional and then going in.
Of course facing the Priest and then getting the words out. I am afraid that the emotions of the moment will get the best of me. When I get emotional, I get a lump in my throat and have trouble articulating the words.
I pray that St. Jude and St. Paul, and the Blessed Mother will intercede for strength to help me to endure, to rise above, and to overcome my fears.
 
Needless to say, I need all the prayers I can get.
My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak. That’s the story of my life to this point. But I want to do better. I want to put Jesus Christ at the center of my life.
After all we are here for two things – To love God with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds, and to love and serve one another as brothers and sisters. AMEN
 
I would say go to confession via a screen if you’re going to be embarrassed about your sins.

I think what you need to do is make a general confession. Go through your whole life (since your last confession), and try to figure out ALL your mortal sins. Try to remember how many times you committed them, and the circumstances that might increase their gravity. Then, you need to be truly sorry for your sins (you’re either sorry because you fear going to hell, or preferably sorry because your sins have offended God), and you need to have the sincere resolution of to try as hard as you can not ti sin again.

I would suggest going to a Latin Mass parish, and seeking help from the Priest there.
 
Thanks, but I am not a fan of Latin masses.
I probably need to put together a list.
I have not been to confession in 40 years.
Recalling all those sins is going to be hard.
I figure I should seek an appointment with a priest. It may take time to get through this confession. I do not want others in line to have to wait on my account.
 
You don’t have to go to the Latin Mass, I’m just suggesting to go to that priest, because traditional priests are usually better equipped to handle these sorts of things.
 
I see. Thanks…
The only thing I currently debating with myself is to whether I should go to my parish priest or to go to an out-of-town parish priest.
Human nature. I have to see the local parish priest at church every week.
I know they are not supposed to remember sins from confessions, but for me, I think it might make me feel awkward. Does that make any kind of sense?
 
Yes. If you’re nervous, welcome to the club. Everyone who goes to confession has those thoughts. You just have to remember that priests are bound by the seal of confession, they pray to forget the sins that they hear in confession, and they have almost certainly dealt with people in your exact situation.

You just have to take the leap and go for it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top