What path to confession?

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Leap of faith. I have never been much on self motivation. It is tough.
 
Sounds like you are doing great with the prayers.

I know how you feel with the nerves. Do remember a lot of those are the enemy putting obstacles in the way. You can also ask your Guardian Angel to go ahead and prepare the way with the priests guardian angel.

The best thing I find is to divide a task like this up in to many things and conquer them one at a time, such as going to the church, there that wasn’t too bad. Then walking in. Then sitting in the confession line (once you are there you feel a lot better…hey well done you warrior…tell yourself that). Then walking into the confessional. Then sitting down. Then saying hello. etc. Rather than panicking about the whole thing in one go. Oh and don’t worry about not being able to talk or a lump in your throat, the priest will have words to say to comfort you or just wait til you relax and feel calmer. It is amazing how a kind word calms things, I have a neuro disability and my brain simply leaves the building at times and I can’t think of even simple things like what a pen is called and if someone is kind to me and patient, I suddenly find I can speak again so likely it will be that way with you. It is Jesus you are talking to so He can do anything. I find the hardest thing is getting into the confessional once I’m in there it’s like greeting an old friend. I wish I lived near to you to escort you there and sit and pray with you with you til it was your turn. They should make that a thing you know, confession helpers, I’d be one. I do devotional confessions now and go pretty regularly and don’t find it scary any more, if it helps, it gets easier each time. God bless you.
 
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No one said it would be easy. Not even Our Lord:

“How narrow is the gate, and strait is the way that leadeth to life: and few there are that find it!”
 
It’s Saturday. Your parish (or another parish of your choosing) probably has Confession today. Look up the time that it is available, and go there, to Confession.
 
I will not go to confession today.
I have not been in 40 years, so I want to make sure I do things right.
I am in the process of trying to document as many of my sins as I can remember into a note book (that I will destroy after my confession) that I will take with me to my confession.
I have still not decided whether to go to my local parish priest. It is a small parish. Only one priest. Or to go out of town. To go out of town, I must research when and where.
Also, I want to make an appointment, I do not want to feel rushing knowing that there are people in a line outside waiting to make their confessions.
I know the risk I am taking is time. Anything can happen between now and when I actually make my confession. I pray that the Holy Spirit, that our Blessed Mother, and that Jesus will be with me and keep me safe until I can get to my confession.
I would ask for prayers from all on the Catholic Answers Forum that I have made the right decision and that I am delivered to the confessional as soon as I can get my act together. Thanks in advance.
I am worried, scared, and apprehensive. But I do not know what else to do.
For many years, I had given up any hopes for redemption. For the first time in a long time, I have hope in my heart. But that along won’t get it done. I need courage and resolve. May God’s will for me be done. Amen!
 
I have not gone today. I hope to go as soon as I can get it all together.
I must try to remember and write down my sins.
I also must decided who my confessor will be. Local priest or someone out of the immediate area.
I want to do things right. I know it must be done soon. Who knows what the future will bring.
 
I need your prayers and all others on this message board.
I am weak. Why else would I have gone over 40 years between confessions?
Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to have my sins forgiven.
 
Unless he is on vacation, you should go to the priest you will be confessing to on a regular basis.
 
lilypadrees said:
Unless he is on vacation, you should go to the priest you will be confessing to on a regular basis.
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No, this is NOT necessary.
The person can go to any priest. ANY PRIEST. And he should go to whoever he can bring himself to go to the fastest.
The person has not been to confession for 40 years. It is more important right now that he gets to confession ASAP than agonizing over which priest he will be seeing regularly and whether he will have to see that priest again who he is making a 40-year confession to.

If you were bleeding to death, would you wait until you could see a doctor in your neighborhood who you could see on a regular basis going forward, or would you just go to the emergency room and see whatever doctor was on duty?
This is the same situation - a spiritual emergency. We need to get this person back to the church and in a state of grace!

Furthermore, a lot of us who confess regularly do not have a “priest we confess to on a regular basis”. For me it would be physically difficult as I spend time in many different distant locations. Also, the point of going to confession is not to get regular counseling from a specific priest. The priest in the confessional usually just wants you to list your sins, he may give a sentence or two of advice, then he gives you absolution and you are done.
If you’re looking for some sort of ongoing advice relationship, what you really want is a spiritual director, not just a confessor. They are two different things, especially in this day and age when there are often not enough priests to handle everybody’s confession in the short amount of allotted time.
 
YourNameHere said:
I need your prayers and all others on this message board.

I am weak. Why else would I have gone over 40 years between confessions?

Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to have my sins forgiven.
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Dude we’re ALL weak. You stayed away from confession so long that your mind set up a mental block.
I know how it is.
The concern is that if you spend too much time thinking about it and trying to figure out how to go about it “right”, you might not ever get it done.
I will be totally honest, we could all die at any moment. I just had my immediate family member literally drop dead out of the blue about a month ago.
We do not have a lot of time to agonize over something like going back to confession.
We need to “git 'er done”.

You do NOT need to make the most perfect confession in the world right out of the box. Because this is not the last confession you will be making in your life…you should probably go back in a month or so and continue to return every month or two going forward, so if you miss anything, or something doesn’t go quite right, you will have a chance on the next confession to remedy it.

People are saying “did you go yet” and “just go to confession, it’s Saturday, the confessionals are open” because they see you are overthinking it and your mental block is keeping you away from God.

You need to stop thinking and let action take over and just do it. It’s the only way I got myself to go back.
if you want to make an appointment with a priest, fine, pick up the phone, call and make the appointment today or if you can’t get Parish A to pick up then call Parish B or if all else fails just go down to a church with confessions and make yourself go in there…have a shot of whiskey first if that will help…anything to just get yourself in there.
 
YourNameHere said:
I know the risk I am taking is time. Anything can happen between now and when I actually make my confession. I pray that the Holy Spirit, that our Blessed Mother, and that Jesus will be with me and keep me safe until I can get to my confession.
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I wouldn’t worry about a catastrophe. The greatest risk is procrastination, putting it off until everything is perfect.

But it sounds like you have a good plan. Stick with your plan, don’t add any more obstacles, and bring it to completion in the near future.

Try to recall your sins, yes, but if you forget a few, don’t worry. The sacrament covers those. Jesus knows the secrets hidden in your heart even better than you know them. He will not condemn you for forgotten sins. He still loves you. Isn’t that amazing? When you remember those forgotten sins – trust me, you will, even months or years after your big Confession – just bring them to Confession at that time.

I recommend that you go to Confession in a parish other than your home parish. That will eliminate one major obstacle for you. Call to book an appointment, because you do not want to be rushed or feel that you are inconveniencing the priest or anyone else.
YourNameHere said:
Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to have my sins forgiven.
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Of course you do. You are beloved by God. You can be sure of that.

God bless you.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
No, this is NOT necessary.

The person can go to any priest. ANY PRIEST. And he should go to whoever he can bring himself to go to the fastest.
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I didn’t say it was necessary to go to the priest of his/her parish. But he or she is going to be going to him at some point. He or she may as well start with that first confession. All those fears of going to his or her regular priest will then be put to rest.
 
The person has expressed before that they are fearful of telling 40 years worth of sins to a priest they will need to see again on a weekly basis at Mass.
As someone who was away from confession for 18 years myself, I understand this fear.

Yes, it is an option to try to get past that fear by seeing your “regular” priest for this initial confession, but it is not required, and I would not want it to pose an additional hurdle to this person to further delay their confession. If he is more comfortable going to a totally strange priest at some other church that he will never have to see again after this confession, then he should do that in the interest of getting to confession more quickly.
 
Why do you think that I should go to the priest I will be confessing to on a regular basis?
Priests are priests everywhere. They pretty much do the same thing, right?
 
Actually what angst I have have to do with going to my regular parish priest. He seems like a good man. But I have 40 years of sins to confess. Many of my sins are not pretty.
I have to live in that parish as he does. It would make me feel awkward, him knowing some of my deepest and darkest sins.
Does that many sense?
Going to say I have not been back to confession in 40 years is hard enough for me.
 
Of course you deserve to have your sins forgiven. Jesus died for that purpose. Remember what I said about the enemy putting obstacles in the way? that thought is one of them. Jesus will forgive you, in fact He wants to forgive you so much. The need to go to confession, that’s His call. When you go to confession all heaven will rejoice. You went 40yrs between confessions because you listened to the devil, maybe you even convinced yourself the devil didn’t exist or that you didn’t need God. But God kept on calling cos He loves you so much. You have heard His call that’s wonderful, now listen to Him and not to the devil. You don’t need to write down every little sin in a notebook, that’s the devil delaying you. Don’t listen he is wily and can play nice, he could delay you for another 40yrs. Just go and tell Jesus the really big ones that you remember write them down if you like but you don’t have to. If you forget some that’s ok, tell the priest I don’t think I can remember 40yrs of sins, but honest be humble. God knows you better than you know yourself and loves you more than you could ever even think of. Don’t worry about which priest, just go. It’s very sweet to consider others but not necessary, you can make an appointment with your own parish priest or another. You own sounds easier than travelling out of town, this will likely be a regular thing until you get back on track, perhaps even then. Do you recognise these delaying tactics? they are your will, the devil or the world…they are not God’s will. Sorry to sound harsh, but of course you are weak, we are all weak… we are humans, give your weakness to God and ask Him to help. I am praying for you. God bless you
 
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YourNameHere said:
Priests are priests everywhere. They pretty much do the same thing, right?
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They do the same thing in the confessional for sure.
They sit in for Jesus Christ, and they listen to your sins, and then if you are repentant, they give absolution.
They are interchangeable cogs in that respect.
 
No you don’t need to write things down. That’s called procrastinating. There is no way you will remember 40 years of sins.
just go. It’s no big deal. Really

It’s no big deal. There is no way you will confess wrongly.

And it should be the first in many regular confessions.

Just do it. Stop making excuses not to go.

Go and cleanse your soul

None of our sins are pretty. That’s why they are sins.
 
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