What path to confession?

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I am so happy that you are wanting to do this!
YourNameHere said:
Actually what angst I have have to do with going to my regular parish priest. He seems like a good man. But I have 40 years of sins to confess. Many of my sins are not pretty.
I have to live in that parish as he does. It would make me feel awkward, him knowing some of my deepest and darkest sins.
Does that many sense?
Going to say I have not been back to confession in 40 years is hard enough for me.
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That’s quite understandable, and also quite common. Some of my parish priests I’ve confessed to, others not.

You are free to go to any priest you want. You are also free to go at a normal confession time without making a special appointment.

When I’m in a confession line I see some people going in and out in two minutes, others five (most common), others ten to fifteen.

Most Cathedrals have multiple confession confession times - as much as twice a day, six days a week. These are very popular and bring in people from all round the diocese. I suggest you look up the confession times at your local cathedral, and try to be early - even first in line.

Then you could get in as early as Monday or Tuesday next week.

I’ll say a prayer for you.
 
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Yep we had a line last week, one girl was in for about 20 minutes. It’s no biggie.
 
Roseeurekacross said:
Yep we had a line last week, one girl was in for about 20 minutes. It’s no biggie.
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Yes. We just sit there and wait our turn.

Also, if someone takes longer we have no idea why. It may have been just a week since their last confession and they have something they want to talk about.
 
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Yes, I know you feel uncomfortable going to your regular priest. But why? He will be so delighted that you’ve come to Confession. He’s there not to judge you but to help you make a good Confession. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

The first time is always the hardest esp after such a long time. But you go in, keep your eyes lowered, (it’s not a requirement that you look him in the eye),confess your sins, receive your penance, say your Act Of Contrition, receive Absolution, do your penance (which is usually easy to do even before you leave the Church) and then feel so much lighter afterwards.

Do whatever you want o do. Just be sure to go to Confession and get everything off your chest. After you’ve finished the first one, you’ll wonder how you ever did without it.
 
Act of contrition isn’t a necessary thing, and not every priest asks for it.

Really the priest is not going to care if you can’t remember what to say.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
You do NOT need to make the most perfect confession in the world right out of the box. Because this is not the last confession you will be making
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Yes! Just go and confess what you remember now. If you forgot something, you’ll just go the next time and confess it. As long as you’re not deliberately keeping the sin from the priest, it’s perfectly ok. Many people just go in with their examination of conscience (after spending a brief period reflectingwith it outside the confessional) and confess the sins they are conscious of. God is happy with that.
 
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When I came back to confession after a long period of being away, I went to my friend’s parish for that reason.

My sins were not pretty. I will tell you that the priest welcomed me back and asked me how I was adjusting to being back and church. He told me Jesus had been waiting for this moment for a very long time. He said this was day was a victory for Jesus. I told him so many things that he could have justly yelled at me or hated me for, and instead he just forgave me and welcomed me with love and mercy.

My only regret was wasting so much time in coming back to the sacrament. The time will never feel right to do something hard.
 
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Roseeurekacross said:
Act of contrition isn’t a necessary thing, and not every priest asks for it.

Really the priest is not going to care if you can’t remember what to say.
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Often I see that the Act of Contrition is printed on a card or piece of paper and placed in a spot where the person confessing can just look at it. People who don’t know what to say can just read it. If someone really got confused, I am guessing the priest would help them to say whatever they needed to say.

Our parish pastor when I was a child would just say, “You’re sorry, aren’t you? Yes? You’re sorry” and assuming the kid said, “Yes” he’d just go straight to Absolution.
 
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Roseeurekacross said:
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lilypadrees:
Unless he is on vacation, you should go to the priest you will be confessing to on a regular basis.
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That’s untrue. You can go to any priest any time who takes his turn to hear confessions.
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Again, I said should not have to.
 
Take it from this priest. No matter how dark and how nasty the sin, it’s nothing we haven’t heard before. And honestly, hearing the sins isn’t that exciting. The joy of reconciling someone to God is the exciting part. And this is also coming from someone with a fairly good memory, I rarely remember anything I hear, even if I force myself to. Call it grace, or chalk it up to the fact that I’ve heard about 7,000 confessions (2 years ordained) and they all run together.

Fear not, we’ve heard it all, we remember little, and we do not think differently of anyone for what we hear.

You’re in my prayers
Fr ACEGC
 
edward_george1 said:
7,000 confessions (2 years ordained)
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I’m torn between being very happy that so many people go down to confess every week and being blown away by how many confessions this would work out to over the course of a priest’s lifetime career.

I can see where, short of a multiple murder situation, you probably wouldn’t remember a thing.
 
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I live in a small community. There is only one parish priest. Only one confession time after noon on Saturdays. Two hours. Or you can make an appointment.
But I am leaning to going out of town. I am not sure where.
It will be hard enough facing a priest who I don’t know to confess my sins. But I think it would be harder to confess to a priest that I will see most any Sunday.
 
Would you ask why the person confessing had be so long away from confession or just be joyful that the person came back to confess?
 
I doubt my confession will be perfect. None of us are perfect. We strive for perfection and accept excellence, if even that is possible.
I just want to try me best to remember all the truly bad things that I have done in my 40 years away from confession.
In my case, I will likely make the confession. And then 10 minutes away from Church remember two or three things that I should have confessed. I just pray that it is my mind and not my self-consciousness forgetting things I might be afraid to confess. That would likely destroy my initial confession.
Yes, I know I have tendency of thinking too much.
A friend once told me that I think to much. That friend told me to “stop thinking and start drinking” in an effort to get by the rough spots in life.
 
My friend, it is a big deal to me to make a good confession. That means trying my best to remember as much as I can.
Am I procrastinating? Perhaps. In my mind, I just want to do the best job that I can.
With your prayers and the help of St. Jude, St. Paul, and our Blessed Mother, I will get my confession done.
I pray that the person I confess to will be patient with me.
 
YourNameHere said:
My friend, it is a big deal to me to make a good confession. That means trying my best to remember as much as I can.

Am I procrastinating? Perhaps. In my mind, I just want to do the best job that I can.

With your prayers and the help of St. Jude, St. Paul, and our Blessed Mother, I will get my confession done.

I pray that the person I confess to will be patient with me.
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Listen to Edward George, the Priest who has posted here.

And you are not alone. Many people go back to confession for the first time after decades. I am one of them. I went after about 40 years too. And to the same Priest who I had first spoken too about returning to the Church.

Guess what my Priest said
My Priest who I see regularly said Welcome Home.

I wasn’t graded for my confession. In our situation, coming home after decades, an imperfect confession is when you are not sorry for your years of turning your back to God. It’s not an imperfect confession forgetting that you did x y or z 28 years ago. Or leaving out a sin because you forget it at the time.
You sound a little like you are developing scruples my friend. Push that away too

I did not write a list, I did not try to remember all my sins. You are not required to try your best to remember as much as you can. And you can’t remember 40 years of sinning.

Our Priests go to Priest school for years so they can help Jesus wash our souls clean.
It’s not a situation where you get an A+ or an f - . You can’t fail. Jesus is waiting for you. Your guardian angel is trying his hardest to get you to stop procrastinating, knowing you will be scared and anxious, but go and do it. What are you scared of? What was I scared of? Who knows but I can assure you, that fear won’t last long. As soon as you start talking to the Priest in confession, you will know you are home.

I was really scared , just like you, when sitting in line waiting my turn. I would rather have been in childbirth or getting all my teeth pulled at the dentist. But I am a courageous woman, so I waited in line and went in to confession.

Your Priest will guide you. It doesn’t matter which Priest. You are coming home. To God. You can sit in Mass every Sunday, but until you reconcile with God, you aren’t home,

Remember the story of the prodigal son. That’s you right now. That was me. That’s so many people.

I have 3 core Priests who either do Mass in the Cathedral or the rural church. They have become like brothers. I go to Sacrament of Reconcilliation every few weeks. It brings us such Graces. It’s not important which Priest is on. It’s important I work as hard as they do at saving my soul and living a life ordered to God.

The big deal is coming home. The smoke of satan , and that’s what fear and anxiety are here, is preventing you coming home. Push through it. Be that fire fighter, push through the smoke of fear. Come home to God.
 
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Do you know what the Sacrament of Reconcilliation is all about? It’s not about guilt, it’s not about punishment. It’s not about being given penance.

It’s changed my friend, since we did our first confessions.
It’s about turning back to God. It’s about saying yes to God’s love.
It’s about Reconcilliation with God. It’s about accepting God’s mercy.

It’s about coming home

What isn’t the Sacrament of Reconcilliation about.
Long lists of sins
Punishment
Guilt
Penance
Having the Priest throw you out of the church because you committed some heinous crime.

The Sacrament of Reconcilliation has changed.
 
YourNameHere said:
In my case, I will likely make the confession. And then 10 minutes away from Church remember two or three things that I should have confessed. I just pray that it is my mind and not my self-consciousness forgetting things I might be afraid to confess. That would likely destroy my initial confession.
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That’s not important and not an issue for you at the moment. That’s a smoke screen

You sound like scruples could easily set in. Your initial confession can never be destroyed. How can it? You will be coming home.

Coming home to God
 
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The first thing I say to someone coming back after a long absence is “Welcome back!” Sometimes I ask why they were gone so long, but not to judge motives. Not at all. I only ask that if I get the feeling it would help me to better parse out what’s going on in the life of the person, maybe what complications are present that have kept them away so long, so I can render the best possible care in that moment.

There’s always joy when someone comes back. Always. For me, for the penitent, for the whole court of heaven.

You can do this!

-Fr ACEGC
 
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