What positive experiences have you had with members of the clergy?

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Hi, I’m not Catholic, and it’s been a while since I’ve participated here. I was raised Mormon, am currently agnostic, and would like to know more about your experiences and perspective.

Obviously, there has been a lot of negative news lately about priests in the Catholic Church. Can you please share some positive experiences with me, to help me understand how you see things? How do you feel your lives have been blessed by your interactions with the priesthood? Do you feel the priests or other leaders you have known are sent by God? If so, why? Have they helped you spiritually, through confession, sacraments, or other ways?

Thank you in advance! I really appreciate you allowing me to participate with you on this form.
 
My one priest at my parish has help me in meditation prayer which i struggled with a little and he gave some things to do while meditating like saying the jesus prayer and it has helped me during time of meditation .
 
Positive experiences have been face-to-face confession with our parish priest.
 
As I have posted before, I have never in my life so far known a priest who was accused of child sexual abuse. I am aware of three or four accused and/or removed in surrounding parishes that I did not regularly attend, however there weren’t any in my parishes when I was there. I did know two priests who had some issues with adult women, and several others who had other difficulties not relating to sexual behavior, such as alcoholism.

However, the vast majority of the priests I have dealt with, which is a lot because I have lived in several different states and I attend a lot of different churches due to traveling, have been good priests and nice people. A few of them were stellar.

I particularly remember a very smart and well-traveled priest from my hometown parish who had been a rabbi and converted. He was very learned and seemed like he was almost too smart for a neighborhood where in those days most people got an hourly wage job rather than college education. But he was always very kind. He helped my mother with a number of issues she was struggling with. Another priest I remember was a Franciscan who taught, and was very firm and in control about handling students who misbehaved in his class. My mother also had him for a confessor and told me he was a very good confessor.

In recent months, a lot of priests have been very kind to me about the sudden death of my husband. And Archbishop Lori, too. There are also a few priests I have gone on multiple pilgrimage trips with. They are nice people and good tour guides, especially given that sometimes parish tour groups are not the easiest things to cope with (It’s amazing how childish some adults can be on a trip).

I think in this day and age, when priests get so much flak and most men seem unable to handle celibacy, it takes a special man to become a priest and stay a priest. I think God must bless these holy priests so they can continue to cope. Nobody ever writes an article about the thousands of wonderful priests out there who never get accused of anything. All the articles are about the small percentage who are the worst of the bunch.

If you are not a Catholic, you are not going to see the holy priests. You will just see articles about “300 priests who molested children” which conveniently leave out the fact that 2/3 of these priests died years ago and that about 90 percent of all the priests in the time frame surveyed were never accused of molestation. And you will assume all priests are bad guys. Which is wrong. My heart goes out to the good priests.

And yes, they have helped me spiritually. A couple of them said the right thing at the right time to bring me back to the Church. It’s kind of mind-boggling that someone would think a priest didn’t “help people spiritually”. Priests spend all day every day helping people spiritually. Maybe some people aren’t receptive to the help, but the vast majority of people are. Spirituality is often a very private matter and I don’t really want to go into every single way a priest has helped me, so just accept that some did. It was their job to do that and they accomplished their mission.
 
That would be a very long post! First of all, the priests and bishops in my life dispense the sacraments–baptism, Eucharist, confession, confirmation, marriage, anointing of the sick and Holy Orders.

The Mass, being the place where we experience the uniting of our lives with the Passion and Resurrection of the Lord, is, as the Church puts it, “the source and summit of the Christian life.” Everything comes from the Sacrifice of Our Lord, and without priests, there is no Mass. More than that, though, their reverence and care makes this holy gift of God more accessible in its true reality…that is, a very reverent priest helps those assembled to truly keep their focus on what is really happening. This, in turn, informs everything else we do. Priests also give the homily, which is the “breaking open” of the readings from the Holy Scriptures that are integral to the Mass. This is a great help in transferring the graces of the Mass into Christian action for the rest of the week.

I could go down the line in that way with each of the sacraments. Priests are there to baptize us when we are born (or join the Church), to marry us, to anoint us when we are in danger of death, and to bury us and comfort our families when we die.

Priests and religious sisters and brothers are also the face of the Church in the places where they work, because they give themselves to God in the work of the Church in such a radical way. What would strike you if you met them is how down-to-earth and “normal” they are. They aren’t plaster saints. They are very good people, people who show that (as Thomas Merton put it), “the spiritual life is first of all a life.” They are not sour, they don’t go around like the morality police looking to find fault, they take a real interest in other people. They show that a life dedicated to prayer and service of God won’t take you away from humanity but will give you to it in fullness.

As I said, I could go on and on, but on the whole I’d say that if you get to know some priests or religious sisters or brothers you are likely to enjoy them and feel very accepted as a person. You are likely to feel loved. This is what pursuit of grace does: it makes you want to see other people as God does, to thirst for their conversion to happiness as God does.
 
I must say that @edward_george1 brings a lot of positive experiences to this forum.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
As I have posted before, I have never in my life so far known a priest who was accused of child sexual abuse.
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I have known a priest who had done some inappropriate things with women and adolescent girls. I was one of them. The other priests I have told this to could not have been more supportive. They were upset about the priest’s behavior, yes, but they were by far more interested in how I was doing and whether they could offer any support that I would find helpful. Their response wasn’t about self-protection. It was all about helping to mend the harm that had been done by a brother priest.

After the priest abuse allegations came out, many of these men suffered abuse when they were out in public wearing a Roman collar. Total strangers who didn’t know them would say (or do) abusive things, even those these men had done nothing wrong. They knew that the number of pedophiles in the priesthood is, if anything, lower than among married men, but they endured all sorts of know-it-alls telling them that the life they had chosen was unnatural, that it isn’t right for a man not to marry (in spite of what the New Testament very clearly says that is to the contrary) and you name it. Still, I’d say they are mainly upset with those leaders who have covered things up not to protect the privacy of those who have been harmed but to protect the asset of a falsely “perfect” reputation.

In the defense of those leaders, all I can say is that I have read some of the personnel files that had to be released by the Archdiocese of Portland, and in some cases the archbishop had been given an assessment from a mental health professional that indicated that the offending priest wasn’t a threat going forward. Still, the priests I know agree with my assessment that returning someone like this to a position of trust on the assessment of psychologist is like sending someone to rehab and then putting them to work as a bartender or catching someone in theft and making them a bank teller. Someone with that kind of offense against the priesthood and the People of God should not have been returned to a position of trust. If they committed a crime, they ought to face the consequences. If they committed a violation of trust that was not a violation of a civil law they still shouldn’t be returned to the ministry, though. Not ever. This is what the priests I know have said about the matter.

They are concerned that a false accusation could ruin their lives and their ministry, but now we have protocols in place that everyone has to follow. These are similar to the kind of things that prudent priests always used to follow with regards to women; I think it is only recently that it was appreciated by typical people that pedophiles aren’t as rare as anyone wanted to think and protecting children requires more vigilance than anyone knew.
 
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One priest I knew who’s gone to his eternal rest was a man that prayed before bed in front of the tabernacle. 1/2 hour with God the Father, 1/2 hour with God the Son, and 1/2 hour with God the Holy Spirit. He was a man of prayer. When the time of year came around where he had to read the gospel of Peter denying Christ, he could hardly get through it, full of tears and pauses.

He told us a story of how he was a sick baby that cried a lot, and the parish priest came by, did the sign of the cross over him, and he was healed. First night his mother got to sleep through the night.

May he pray for us.
 
Countless good, positive experiences. A few certainly do stand out as extraordinary acts of holiness on the part of the priests.
 
Thank you for sharing these experiences! Some of you seem to have known some truly wonderful priests. I tend to assume that most priests must be good people, and trying to do what they believe is right. I do think the abuses in the news have been absolutely terrible, but I would hate to paint all priests as abusers. I just don’t have much experience with them at all, and having never been Catholic, don’t know what your experiences have been like.
I was just hoping to hear from you in order to help me be more understanding, and to have a more complete view.
It seems that the sacraments are a really big deal to you. Can you tell me a little more about that? Do you feel that the priests you have interacted with have been essential in your own spiritual lives? Have there been specific instances where a priest has helped you grow closer to God, or benefited your life in a profound way?

Thanks again!
 
The Vatican II document, Lumen Gentium (the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church) talks about the place of the sacraments in the life of the world more succinctly than I could:

"When the work which the Father gave the Son to do on earth (Jn. 17:4) was accomplished, the Holy Spirit was sent on the day of Pentecost in order that He might continually sanctify the Church, and thus, all those who believe would have access through Christ in one Spirit to the Father.(Eph. 1:18) He is the Spirit of Life, a fountain of water springing up to life eternal.(Jn. 4:14; 7:38-39) To men, dead in sin, the Father gives life through Him, until, in Christ, He brings to life their mortal bodies.(Rom. 8:10-11) The Spirit dwells in the Church and in the hearts of the faithful, as in a temple.(Cor. 3:16; 6:19) In them He prays on their behalf and bears witness to the fact that they are adopted sons.(Gal. 4:6; Rom. 8:15-16 and 26) The Church, which the Spirit guides in way of all truth(Jn. 16:13) and which He unified in communion and in works of ministry, He both equips and directs with hierarchical and charismatic gifts and adorns with His fruits.(Eph. 1:11-12; 1 Cor. 12:4 Gal. 5:22) By the power of the Gospel He makes the Church keep the freshness of youth. Uninterruptedly He renews it and leads it to perfect union with its Spouse. (Rom. 8:29) The Spirit and the Bride both say to Jesus, the Lord, “Come!” (Rev. 22:17)…

"It is through the sacraments and the exercise of the virtues that the sacred nature and organic structure of the priestly community is brought into operation. Incorporated in the Church through baptism, the faithful are destined by the baptismal character for the worship of the Christian religion; reborn as sons of God they must confess before men the faith which they have received from God through the Church (Eph. 1:4-5 and 10). They are more perfectly bound to the Church by the sacrament of Confirmation, and the Holy Spirit endows them with special strength so that they are more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith, both by word and by deed, as true witnesses of Christ (Jn. 19:34). Taking part in the Eucharistic sacrifice, which is the fount and apex of the whole Christian life, they offer the Divine Victim to God, and offer themselves along with It.(Jn. 12:32) Thus both by reason of the offering and through Holy Communion all take part in this liturgical service, not indeed, all in the same way but each in that way which is proper to himself. Strengthened in Holy Communion by the Body of Christ, they then manifest in a concrete way that unity of the people of God which is suitably signified and wondrously brought about by this most august sacrament. (cont)
 
(cont)
Those who approach the sacrament of Penance obtain pardon from the mercy of God for the offence committed against Him and are at the same time reconciled with the Church, which they have wounded by their sins, and which by charity, example, and prayer seeks their conversion. By the sacred anointing of the sick and the prayer of her priests the whole Church commends the sick to the suffering and glorified Lord, asking that He may lighten their suffering and save them; she exhorts them, moreover, to contribute to the welfare of the whole people of God by associating themselves freely with the passion and death of Christ.(Rom; 8:17; Col. 1:24; 2 Tim. 2:11-12; 1 Pet. 4:13) Those of the faithful who are consecrated by Holy Orders are appointed to feed the Church in Christ’s name with the word and the grace of God. Finally, Christian spouses, in virtue of the sacrament of Matrimony, whereby they signify and partake of the mystery of that unity and fruitful love which exists between Christ and His Church,(Eph. 5:32) help each other to attain to holiness in their married life and in the rearing and education of their children. By reason of their state and rank in life they have their own special gift among the people of God.(1 Cor. 7, 7, 1 Cor 5:7) From the wedlock of Christians there comes the family, in which new citizens of human society are born, who by the grace of the Holy Spirit received in baptism are made children of God, thus perpetuating the people of God through the centuries. The family is, so to speak, the domestic church. In it parents should, by their word and example, be the first preachers of the faith to their children; they should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each of them, fostering with special care vocation to a sacred state.

Fortified by so many and such powerful means of salvation, all the faithful, whatever their condition or state, are called by the Lord, each in his own way, to that perfect holiness whereby the Father Himself is perfect.
 
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I appreciate your question especially looking for the good. I’m 77 years old and have been active in the church. My Uncle was a priest and it was very special having him around for my first Holy Communion and Confirmation. He officiated at my wedding. I never went to confession to him but did to many other priest. I have never had a bad experience in confession but there were a handful where I felt very good afterward. It had nothing to do with my sins or feeling forgiven. I always have felt forgiven as the priest stands in for Jesus Christ. My formal pastor and I are very good friends and that is special. I have never had a bad experience although there was one pastor who I did not agree with. Concerning Scouts earning their religious emblem award. We were both too hard headed.
 
One of our past Parish Priests is a notorious paedophile, in jail for now. However, people still speak kindly of his good actions. And visit him.
 
The priest who took me through private instruction treated me like I was his own daughter. One time when I was waiting in the checkout line some man came by and pinched me where no ones hands should have been. Father was standing in the other line he went to management and told them that they needed to tell him to leave and that he did not appreciate someome doing that to me. He pointed to his collar and said she and all the other people at the parish call me Father for a reason he has passed on now but we all remember him fondly.
Then not too long ago after mass was over I went to shake hands with the priest who had celebrated mass I was feeling a bit dizzy well I am so glad that Father was not afraid to have physical contact with me because if he had not place his arm around my shoulder and helped me over to a bench that was sitting by the door i would have collapsed to the floor. I am a type 1 diabetic and my blood sugar had dropped way low he even sat with me while some one got me a coke from the stash that he keeps in the off and did not leave my side until my blood sugar reading came up normal.
 
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Thank you for sharing that 🙂
I’ve always been shown kindness and helpfulness by priests and especially regarding having confession heard at odd times even though they might have travelled from one country mass to the next pressed for time ,they kindly make time .
 
I’ve had a couple of priests who really helped with dealing with family mess - at least with getting me to a better place. It was a priest who was the first person to flat-out tell me that I was talking about my own childhood memories like I was dealing with trauma there, even if I was saying everything was fine. And I have gotten a lot of assurance that it was ok to set boundaries and limit information and that if you know someone’s going to hurt you then you don’t have to give them ammo.
 
I have a priest friend who is also a musician and a poet. I do a lot of artwork for him. I keep in touch with a number of the priests I’ve known my whole life. A couple of my classmates in school became priests. All good and gentle souls. My late uncle was a priest, but I never knew him because he died before I was born. But he did do mission work in South America and I’ve been told he was very compassionate for the poor.

My husband’s family was from Poland. Under the communist regime there were times the father of the household was imprisoned unjustly and the rest of the family had no food at times because of it, but they had a priest friend who would find them food and feed them during the hard times.

In cases where there are good priests, I believe they all had vocations and calls from God. Some people that are not good priests likely became priests for wrong reasons and did not truly have a call from God, or else they chose to ignore this call and their vows. Not everyone that is admitted to the seminary are necessarily fit to be priests. After World War II they started to become more relaxed about the rules as to who could be a priest, so a lot of men with serious problems were allowed to be priests when they shouldn’t have.

Honestly when I think of all the good priests that will be unjustly blamed, mocked and stereotyped because of the scandals, it breaks my heart.
 
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