What qualifies as vanity?

[ArdenB]

I really have trouble understanding what it means to be vain. I understand it has to do with preoccupation with one’s appearance, but wouldn’t almost every woman be vain? Don’t we all shave our legs, wear make up, shop at nice stores, like jewelery, go to the hair dressor, etc.? The whole concept of vanity being a sin just doesn’t make sense to me like lust does for example. I know it’s wrong to look at porn and have casual sex, and I’m not even tempted, but I couldn’t imagine not working out or straightening my hair.

 

[strngrnrth]

Don’t we all shave our legs, wear make up, shop at nice stores, like jewelery, go to the hair dressor, etc.?

No, I know a lot of women who don’t do any of those things and more who do only some of them, and rarely, and even more who occasionally do them all but just very seldom and only for practical reasons or to experience something different.

I couldn’t imagine not working out or straightening my hair.

I don’t think being fit within reason is vain. It’s healthy. Why can’t you imagine not straightening your hair? I don’t think it’s vain if you do for practical reasons, say if your hair is just hard to keep neat otherwise, or because it’s expected at your job, but haven’t you ever just wanted to try something different? Myself, I’ve had more styles than I can keep mental count of. I get bored. I wish mine would stay super-curly just so I could try it for a year or so. I don’t think that’s even vanity. It’s not as if I change my hair to be stared at and admired or as a way of being better than other people. I just like to express myself. And when I go natural my hair is drab and stringy and looks unprofessional, ragged and weak. And my skin is OK sometimes on its own but I don’t want to meet with someone who can affect my life (like a job interviewer) with zits showing. That’s just self-preservation.

 

[ArdenB]

No, I know a lot of women who don’t do any of those things and more who do only some of them, and rarely, and even more who occasionally do them all but just very seldom and only for practical reasons or to experience something different.
I don’t think being fit within reason is vain. It’s healthy. Why can’t you imagine not straightening your hair? I don’t think it’s vain if you do for practical reasons, say if your hair is just hard to keep neat otherwise, or because it’s expected at your job, but haven’t you ever just wanted to try something different? Myself, I’ve had more styles than I can keep mental count of. I get bored. I wish mine would stay super-curly just so I could try it for a year or so. I don’t think that’s even vanity. It’s not as if I change my hair to be stared at and admired or as a way of being better than other people. I just like to express myself. And when I go natural my hair is drab and stringy and looks unprofessional, ragged and weak. And my skin is OK sometimes on its own but I don’t want to meet with someone who can affect my life (like a job interviewer) with zits showing. That’s just self-preservation.

I have very frizzy hair. It’s all over the place if I don’t straighten it. It makes me feel very self-conscious.

 

[CarrieH]

It’s not so much the effort to look one’s best, but the attachment to those efforts and the amount of effort involved. This is another area where the virtues of temperance and humility can be applied. It’s one thing to spend a bit of time in the morning putting on some makeup, choosing an attractive outfit, and fixing one’s hair, but it is another matter altogether when someone makes those things their top priority, or if that person would have a major meltdown if they had to leave the house without everything being just-so. Vanity is an offshoot of pride; both of those sins cause the person to focus on themselves rather than on God and neighbor. So if a person spends so much energy fussing over their looks that they are neglecting their spiritual life and their neighbor’s needs, then they have crossed the line into vanity.