What qualities does a woman look for in a man?

[iaskquestions]

What qualities does woman look for in a man in order to decide whom to choose as her husband?

(In short, how do I become the perfect man? )

 

[beckycmarie]

What qualities does woman look for in a man in order to decide whom to choose as her husband?

(In short, how do I become the perfect man? )

Answer to question 1: This varies by woman, and often what a woman looks for has nothing to do with your second question, which is what you should really focus on. Focus on what God wants, not what other people want.

Answer to question 2: Be like Christ.

 

[mercygate]

Check out Steve Wood’s twoo books: *ABC’s of Choosing a Good Wife *and ABC’s of Choosing a Good Husband.

I bought both of them for my twenty-something daughter. I figured it was just as important for her to know what a good man is looking for as it is to know what to look for in a man.

 

[puzzleannie]

What qualities does woman look for in a man in order to decide whom to choose as her husband?

(In short, how do I become the perfect man? )

essentials
learn basic auto maintenance, oil changes, flat tires etc.
learn basic household repair skills–clogged drain, torn screen etc.
learn basic computers skills–ability to install hdwre & software, patience in dealing with help desk phoneline etc.
learn basic kitchen skills–be able to prepare for 1 or 2 people simple breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack, and how to clean up
learn where the dishwasher is located and its use
do drills with brooms, mops and other cleaning utensils to become comfortable with their use
learn how to sort clothes and operate a washer and dryer properly

nice
pleasant appearance deriving from a pleasant personality (features not that important)

deal-breaker:
be kind and courteous to your mother or nothing doing

all our SILs qualify

but taking no chances we also taught all these to our daughters as well, so IMO they are perfect women (and their hubbies agree)

 

[iaskquestions]

That’s all? I thought it takes a lot more than that to make a woman happy!

 

[bilop]

essentials
learn basic auto maintenance, oil changes, flat tires etc.
learn basic household repair skills–clogged drain, torn screen etc.
learn basic computers skills–ability to install hdwre & software, patience in dealing with help desk phoneline etc.
learn basic kitchen skills–be able to prepare for 1 or 2 people simple breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack, and how to clean up
learn where the dishwasher is located and its use
do drills with brooms, mops and other cleaning utensils to become comfortable with their use
learn how to sort clothes and operate a washer and dryer properly

Except for the dishwasher, I don’t know/do any of those, but my wife still keeps me.

God Bless

 

[brigid12]

essentials
learn basic auto maintenance, oil changes, flat tires etc.
learn basic household repair skills–clogged drain, torn screen etc.
learn basic computers skills–ability to install hdwre & software, patience in dealing with help desk phoneline etc.
learn basic kitchen skills–be able to prepare for 1 or 2 people simple breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack, and how to clean up
learn where the dishwasher is located and its use
do drills with brooms, mops and other cleaning utensils to become comfortable with their use
learn how to sort clothes and operate a washer and dryer properly

good personal hygiene, no crassness or swearing, pick up after self (most of the time), clean up background report (if the State Patrol wouldn’t hire you, why should I?)

nice
pleasant appearance deriving from a pleasant personality (features not that important)

decent health/diet practices, learn basic dance steps, don’t smell of smoke or beer, LISTEN to others

deal-breaker:
be kind and courteous to your mother or nothing doing

be kind to all women (not flirtatious or ogling tho’) and extra courteous to older women

 

[KingAlfred]

At first, big shoulders, mostly. Later, other stuff. It’s in our genes. Big shoulders instinctively denote health and the ability to protect. We’re naturally attracted to them.

I’m skinny, but worked hard for 16 years to develop a good build. I reaped the bennies for a long time, becoming a bit vain. Six months ago I ruptured my right AC Joint in my shoulder, had to quit lifting, and have shrunken back to my youthful emaciation. I hate it, but know the cult of the body is sinful. I’m now struggling to see this as a lesson in humility, but that’s what it is. Sorry for the detour.

 

[mercygate]

What qualities does woman look for in a man in order to decide whom to choose as her husband?

(In short, how do I become the perfect man? )

Brains. Women are wowed by brains.

 

[Miserissima]

Know her. Be willing to ask questions. This is not a checklist, and it’s not the end-all be-all of what women want. It’s subjective to each woman for as many women who are out there. There is no one-size-fits-all advice. (The same questions apply to men, as well.) But here’s a primer:

It takes time to find out if you’re compatible. Be clear that you’re willing to invest in the time it takes to find out. Show interest in what’s important to her. Find out why she likes the things she does. Make sure you take the time to introduce her to your hobbies, too. Find out what you can enjoy together and apart.

Pay attention to how closely she is aligned to her family’s belief system, values, education, and econimics. What causes conflict in her family? Is her family of a different faith? Was she the first to graduate college? Did she not finish high school? How much does her faith and education influence her life? At home? At work? Is she willing to grow or is this a static phase in her life?

Communication. Is she open to hearing your advice? Watch and see if you can tell when not to give advice, too. Get to know her well enough that you’re responsive to what she needs: does she want to discuss something or to vent, first? Do you get the same option or is there a double standard you’re willing to accept?

**Make sure that your values match up. **Know what you’re roles are going to be (complementarian or egalitarian) and make allowances for changes in roles as time goes on.

Stability. Are you a job-hopper who cannot support yourself consistently? Do you need a mate who is stable to stabilize yourself? Are you willing to stay at home? Can you afford to stay at home on one income?

Have most of your relationships been long-term or short-term? How soon do you bail from a situation (religion, financial, job position, relationship) when it becomes difficult for you?

Do you rely on other people for advice? How many people are going to be in this marriage?

How do you react when stressed? Do you shut out your spouse, for a day? A week? When do you want to talk things over and make a plan? What are the triggers for your personal crisis, and how do you communicate them?

Familiarize yourself with the stages of married life, and become committed to Christ and each other. Know that you’re not going to be the same people in 10 years, but be dedicated to Christ, the Sacrament of Marriage, and to each other though circumstances may change.

 

[KingAlfred]

What about the shoulders?

 

[Miserissima]

HIya, KingAlfred. I am sorry to hear that you’re not happy that your physique has changed…but that’s who you are, and God made you beautiful…wide shoulders or not.

Who has the link to the National Geographic article about the physical traits that are recognized by our brains that are markers for breeding? Wide hips for women (birthing) and broad chests for men (providing/protecting)? I can see that this base, animal attraction may hold sway for those who aren’t enlightened about it.

My theory is this: in the technological age, our society is moving away from the brawn and more towards the brain. Stability isn’t coming from hunting and gathering, it’s coming from office jobs and scholarships.

Have more faith in humanity, Alfred…more and more people aren’t run by such instinct alone anymore!

 

[water]

(In short, how do I become the perfect man? )

Treat your woman as Jesus treats everyone. That will make you a perfect man.

 

[Gertabelle]

Hmm… good question. I’m an older single woman, and I still can’t say absolutely what I’m looking for in a man.

Some of the things I find attractive:

• a man who’s up to something in life. If you’ve got a brain and good health, use them for the benefit of humanity.
• a man with a sense of humor
• a man whose life is centered around God first
• a man who can be gentle, compassionate, and strong
• a man who takes responsibility for what he’s created/creating in his life (no blame games), and who is willing to open his heart to his wife

Work on the “being” part of who you are first. Physical features are tools that can initiate a first meeting. But physical features change faster than you can imagine. And the fortune you create through your career can disappear in a moment. What is within you is your treasure, so place God at the center of your life and you will be on the right track for that perfection you seek.

God bless, and enjoy the journey.

Gertie

 

[Mark_Robert]

What qualities does woman look for in a man in order to decide whom to choose as her husband?

(In short, how do I become the perfect man? )

Maybe you should change your genetic code? Just kidding. Why not aim for something a little more attainable than perfection like becoming more desireable? Staying trim instead of being fat is a plus. Women like muscles so work out and tone up. Be well groomed instead of dissheveled. (That means combing your hair, brushing your teeth, floss too and shaving.) Wear nice, clean clothes instead of looking like a homeless person off the street. Be sure to take showers and use soap. Apply underarm deodorant and cologne to smell nice. Have some sort of employment prospects. Being a deadbeat is not desireable to most women I imagine. Be self-confident and have a positive attitude toward life. I’d wager morose people don’t fare well in the romance department. A sense of humour will make women laugh and is a way of endearing yourself to them. Oh yeah, character figures in there somewhere as well. These are all simple laws of attraction. Is it really that much of a mystery to you?

 

[distracted]

i basically want only one thing:

A man who loves Jesus more than himself or anyone else… including me…

 

[KingAlfred]

HIya, KingAlfred. I am sorry to hear that you’re not happy that your physique has changed…but that’s who you are, and God made you beautiful…wide shoulders or not.

Who has the link to the National Geographic article about the physical traits that are recognized by our brains that are markers for breeding? Wide hips for women (birthing) and broad chests for men (providing/protecting)? I can see that this base, animal attraction may hold sway for those who aren’t enlightened about it.

My theory is this: in the technological age, our society is moving away from the brawn and more towards the brain. Stability isn’t coming from hunting and gathering, it’s coming from office jobs and scholarships.

Have more faith in humanity, Alfred…more and more people aren’t run by such instinct alone anymore!

I was once skinny, and hated it. Then I became built, and loved it. Now I am skinny again…and hate it even moreso. BUT…there’s a lesson in humility to be learned here. Thanks.

 

[jennifer67]

I probably look for a number of things, but having had some recent experience meeting Catholic men/dating, one thing I look for is someone who is in touch with their feelings and what they want/need etc…also they have to be able to step up and express themselves on these subjects.

It takes two people to navigate a friendship/marriage and I don’t want to and cannot do all the work if the man is too passive.

If a man can’t actively participate in developing the friendship then it just won’t work.

Maybe men think they are being “nice” or don’t want to face conflict on any level, but I find passivity to be frustrating.

Beyond that but on a related theme, I personally need a man who is equally strong so there is balance and he is not expecting me to take the lead on everything…

That’s what came to mind tonight.

 

[ladylinguist]

1. A practicing Catholic. No “Yeah, I’m Catholic but I believe premarital sex/abortion/insert favorite sin here is OK”. Faithful to the Church’s teaching. Faith is an amazingly attractive quality. Usually if someone is a true believer, they’re trying to live in a Christ-like manner. Even if they possess personality flaws (as we all do), they’re trying to overcome the negative bits.
2. Intelligence. I would not marry a man I could not relate to on an intellectual level. Part of this is being able to hold an intelligent conversation. Guys who can’t contribute to a conversation are incredibly dull.
3. Sense of humor. Love a man that can make me laugh.
   Those are the three things I look for. Other women will name other things. It’s such a personal thing.

 

[mercygate]

What about the shoulders?

I’d go with the brains over the shoulders any day. Gimme a skinny geek with a kind heart, sense of humor, strong faith, bedrock commitment, and a good mind over any pair of shoulders any day.