What should a man struggling with Homosexuality do? (Women, feel free to reply too)

[La_Chiara]

Gnosis:

I believe that sex is the physcial expression of a spiritual union. It is every human being’s right, and the Church has no place to deny it from anyone, or to shame us from desiring it. What I seek is the completion of myself, just as any other human being would seek, for we find that we are never truly human until our humanity is brought forward by others, in love, in selflessness, in living for someone else. If I find that love, If I find that completion in a member of the same sex, then I will not hesitate, for when I have found that love, I have found God, for it is His very essence.

That may be what you believe but that is not Catholic, and arguably not Christian belief either. You are your own religion, with you as the Pope.

Are you really happy? And if not, why not? You can argue your beliefs until you are blue in the face, trying to convince others that you are right. But you won’t succeed. Because we believe what you describe as your rights as a gay man, are indeed selfish and sinful. And we believe that one can not find true happiness living a selfish and sinful life.

 

[Topher]

Gnosis:

Perhaps you are willing to give up the joy and mystery of the union of the physical and spiritual to some sexless pontiff, but I will not, I only wish that I was not so wrongfully shamed for the human longing that the Church, to this day, remains inexplicably terrified of.

First of all, no one is giving up sex to the pope. People who are faithful Catholics and struggle with homosexuality are giving up sex for Christ. That’s right, for love of Christ, not of the Pope. Second, if you think that the pope is just some prudish old man, then you need to read what the late Holy Father, Pope John Paul II wrote about sex in Theology of the Body and Love and Responsibilithy. He wrote some of the most explicit stuff about sex that I have ever read.
Finally, why are you unwilling to give up sex? I am a heterosexual male who is single and if I never have sex, then so be it. I have a normal sex drive but I don’t think sex is as important as you make it. It is definitely something worth sacrificing for the Kingdom of God. I mean, think about what the all powerful eternal God sacrificed when he descended into human flesh and sacrificed his human life for us. I can gaurantee that the sacrifice of sex on anybodies part cannot even hold a candle to that. Every person Must be willing to sacrifice that which he holds dearest in order to follow Christ. That is the whole point of being a Christian, sacrificing every fiber of our being to Christ because he deserves nothing less. Don’t be afraid to sacrifice! I know that you can do it with the aid of Christ.

I want you to know that the Christ loves you and the Church loves you and both await you with open arms. You need only submit yourself to both.

 

[Topher]

Gnosis:

But then, why is it disgusting? Do you percieve it to be so because thousands of years of western culture have only accepted heterosexual sex? And it was only acceptable to do it in one way? I would say that its likely. Its the tendency of a society to set up social norms, that appear to threaten society as a whole when they are violated. Its why people are so aggressive against homosexuality, it defies the sexual norms that we have been raised to accept, our ring of comfort is fading.

The fact is, many people are disgusted by homosexuality because most of us have been raised to feel negatively towards it. The whole “its disgusiting thing” exists only in our heads, though it is a process that it very difficult to unravel.

Why do you think that it is that both eastern and western society have rejected homosexuality for thousands of years? Do you think that they may have been on to something?

 

[Podo2005]

LCMS_No_More:

Where’s the option about moving to Arizona and getting used to the heat because all homasexials will burn in hell anyway?

Not there. Who are you to judge whether homosexuals will go to hell or not? Especially homosexuals who don’t know that they are sinning. Love the sinner, hate the sin. NOT condemn the sinner. We are supposed to follow the Lord’s commandment 'Love one another as I have loved you" If you truly cared and loved someone you would help them get out of their sin!

Podo

 

[LCMS_No_More]

podo2005:

LCMS_No_More:

Where’s the option about moving to Arizona and getting used to the heat because all homasexials will burn in hell anyway?

Not there. Who are you to judge whether homosexuals will go to hell or not? Especially homosexuals who don’t know that they are sinning. Love the sinner, hate the sin. NOT condemn the sinner. We are supposed to follow the Lord’s commandment 'Love one another as I have loved you" If you truly cared and loved someone you would help them get out of their sin!

I see you missed the at the end of my post. I was being intentionally sarcastic. The spelling of ‘homasexial’ should have been another clue.

I agree with you completely. I am a person who is homosexually attracted, so I was trying to make people think with my post because I see too much anger and loathing being directed towards people who have this issue. Not all persons who are homosexually attracted are living in blatant sin. Many are actually trying to live according to the teachings of the Church and the Bible…without much help or support from the people in the Church, I might add!

 

[Kristina_P]

It’s not like you have to choose just one. For example, A and B are totally compatible with one another. A Catholic therapist could also conceivably suggest any of the other sound options. Obviously, if a therapist suggests the one completely unsound option, you’d want to find a new therapist. In the end, God works through a variety of media, and what works for one man may not work as well for another.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

B and E actually work together. Choice E is mentioned in Dr. Nicolosi’s book “Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality” in terms of a spectrum. He talks about various kinds of male friendships:

Gay friendships - avoid because these can lead to sex.
Celibate homosexual friendships are called “preparation for the more challenging friendship with the heterosexual male, who is usually less understanding of the homosexual’s challenge.”
heterosexual, non-sexually attractive friendships “offer the opportunity for male bonding” which is essential in healing the issues the cause homosexuality.
Heterosexual, sexually attractive friendships “offer the greatest opportunity for healing.”

Looking at it from the “occasion of sin” standpoint is limited because once the homosexually attracted man has made a few heterosexual, non-sexually attractive friendships, many of the issues have been dealt with…in other words, the “occasion of sin” is actually reduced because the man is more able to identify with (and people generally don’t feel attracted to someone they identify with) that person who would otherwise have been "sexually attractive).

 

[Topher]

LCMS_No_More:

I see you missed the at the end of my post. I was being intentionally sarcastic. The spelling of ‘homasexial’ should have been another clue.

I agree with you completely. I am a person who is homosexually attracted, so I was trying to make people think with my post because I see too much anger and loathing being directed towards people who have this issue. Not all persons who are homosexually attracted are living in blatant sin. Many are actually trying to live according to the teachings of the Church and the Bible…without much help or support from the people in the Church, I might add!

This is a good point. Many people who are struggling with SSA are really trying to live good and holy lives. Lets not forget that while we don’t condone homosexual actions, all people, are created in the image and likeness of God and deserve love and respect. I have a particular soft spot in my heart for those challenged with SSA.

 

[Michael_T]

The poll options were pretty limiting and most had something I didn’t like mixed in with stuff I liked.

I would say:

Pray to God and ask for the intercession of the Mary and the Saints that they may be delivered from this condition- according to Ephesians 6:12, our problems are actually spiritual battles, therefore, this problem should be dealt with mostly in spiritual ways. Find ways to make reparations for their sins, and pick up their own cross- as Jesus commanded.

Dedicate their lives to God. Try to be as faithful to the Gospel as they can, receive the Sacraments frequently.

Maybe try to develop close, chaste friendships with other men. Maybe not ones they are sexually attracted to, and they should be careful in their same sex friendships.

If possible, learn to develop relationships - both friendships and dating relationships - with women. Maybe if they could get to know women better, and understand them better, they would develop sexual attractions towards them, and would be free to pursue a relationship with them as God intended for them to do.

Work to live a good life - be an honest, compassionate person, and understand that God loves everyone - He doesn’t push anyone away. We push Him away by our freely chosen actions.

 

[Podo2005]

LCMS_No_More:

I see you missed the at the end of my post. I was being intentionally sarcastic. The spelling of ‘homasexial’ should have been another clue.

I agree with you completely. I am a person who is homosexually attracted, so I was trying to make people think with my post because I see too much anger and loathing being directed towards people who have this issue. Not all persons who are homosexually attracted are living in blatant sin. Many are actually trying to live according to the teachings of the Church and the Bible…without much help or support from the people in the Church, I might add!

That is because many catholics don’t try and help… instead they condemn people. They don’t look at theirselves! Many catholics are trying to live their lives as holy as possible and forget to love.
BTW sorry for misreading your post :banghead: .

I pray for you and other people who have homosexual attractions… One person can’t fight it alone I agree, the church is supposed to act as a loving community and help.

Podo

 

[LCMS_No_More]

If possible, learn to develop relationships - both friendships and dating relationships - with women. Maybe if they could get to know women better, and understand them better, they would develop sexual attractions towards them, and would be free to pursue a relationship with them as God intended for them to do.

Friendships with women aren’t the problem…neither is understanding them. Straight men certainly don’t understand women…and that’s exactly why they’re attracted to them…women are the “other” for men. We are attracted to that which is different than us.

That’s why it’s important for men with same-sex attractions to learn how to relate to their own masculinity as well as other men. You aren’t attracted sexually to what you relate to.

 

[Topher]

LCMS_No_More:

Friendships with women aren’t the problem…neither is understanding them. Straight men certainly don’t understand women…and that’s exactly why they’re attracted to them…women are the “other” for men. We are attracted to that which is different than us.

That’s why it’s important for men with same-sex attractions to learn how to relate to their own masculinity as well as other men. You aren’t attracted sexually to what you relate to.

Great post. It is absolutely necessary for men struggling with SSA to be able to relate to other men in disinterested normal platonic, healthy relationships because one of the root causes of SSA is gender inferiority complex, and a general lack of normal male friendship.