What should I do about my friend?

[jlr247]

I have a friend from highschool that I have been friends with for about 8 years. For a while we were very close. I was her RCIA sponsor a couple of years ago. Since then, she has stopped coming to mass, started sleeping with her boyfriend, and I feel like she avoids me even though we both say that we are friends.

In the fall, I was having a really hard time and I needed someone to talk to, and all of my other close friends had recently moved away, so I made plans to meet up. She cancelled on me, saying she was sorry and that she would call me back the next week. She never did. I keep praying for her, and I really want her to rediscover Christ, but I don’t know how much more I can take. She has also said things on facebook bashing church-goers and religion, which was not directed at me, but it still really hurts. She wants to get together soon, and I agreed. But I really am at a loss. I can’t bring it up or she avoids me, but I don’t know if I can just keep ignoring stuff like this and pretend that it doesn’t bother me. It really does, and it hurts a lot.

 

[Dirk_Skene]

This is a toughy. She obviously knows what she is doing is wrong. Otherwise she would not avoid the subject. In the past I have had to state that I knew someone was out of line, tell them I was not backing down, accept that the other person did not want me as a friend anymore, then just leave the door open. Some came back. Some did not. You can’t run anothers life, but if you do not see wrong for what it is & point it out, you are not being a friend.

Well take it or leave it. That is up to you. That’s just my :twocents:

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

If it causes conflict, don’t bring up religion. I have a close friend that makes anti-Catholic jabs, I’ve learned to let them roll of my back. Her inlaws (whom she doesn’t get along with) are Catholic and she is just trying to convience herself that they are wrong.

Just be a living example of your faith. Actions speak louder than words. There are too many christians that set bad examples. Most likely your friend has seen this.

 

[ljubim]

I think you should try toughing it out. A similar thing happens with my father (I’m a high school senior, so I’m still at home). He makes little jokes about my mom going off to her “cult” which is really her Catholic bible study. Stick with it and be a shining example of God’s love to her. Just like today’s reading told us to crown ourselves in God’s glory, you do the same. You need to be the fireman, as in the saying, it takes a lot of courage to not run away from the flames along with the crowds of people, but to run into the flames. Jesus always talked to the worst of people, for example, the rotten tax collectors, the adulteress, the lepers, etc. Offer it up every time she is negative towards you. Make a hug effort to be an example. She is a good friend, and so is even more worth saving.

Like somebody else said, she knows she’s doing wrong. Pray like crazy for the Holy Spirit to give you the words to say to her. Keep calling. She needs good people like you in her life. I know it’s going to be hard… I sometimes can’t even bear things that my dad says. It’s brought me to tears many many times. But imagine the agony that Christ went through. All of our pains are nothing compared to His. If He did all of that for us, surely with His help we can do anything. Just like the matryrs were literally roasted. One said, as if in no pain, Flip me over, this side’s cooked, and talked with the torturers as if nothing was going on. God helps us. He wants to bring your friend back. You’re probably in the best position to do His will with your friend.

God Bless! Praying for you

 

[flyingfish]

I have a friend from highschool that I have been friends with for about 8 years. For a while we were very close. I was her RCIA sponsor a couple of years ago. Since then, she has stopped coming to mass, started sleeping with her boyfriend, and I feel like she avoids me even though we both say that we are friends.

In the fall, I was having a really hard time and I needed someone to talk to, and all of my other close friends had recently moved away, so I made plans to meet up. She cancelled on me, saying she was sorry and that she would call me back the next week. She never did. I keep praying for her, and I really want her to rediscover Christ, but I don’t know how much more I can take. She has also said things on facebook bashing church-goers and religion, which was not directed at me, but it still really hurts. She wants to get together soon, and I agreed. But I really am at a loss. I can’t bring it up or she avoids me, but I don’t know if I can just keep ignoring stuff like this and pretend that it doesn’t bother me. It really does, and it hurts a lot.

If it really hurts you that she bashes religion on facebook, then maybe it’s best for you not to be friends anymore.

You can’t expect her to stop expressing her views on facebook, all you can reasonably ask is that she doesn’t put down religion when you are talking to her.

Personally though I think you should stay friends with her, just don’t discuss religion or things related to religion.